The Ice Pirates Review!!!
SYNOPSIS: In a universe where water is a rare commodity, a group of pirates is captured during a heist. Following their imprisonment, a princesss asks them to help her find her father, who has been kidnapped. They agree and off they go on an adventure through time warps and with space herpes in tow.
You want a real, serious review? Go somewhere else. This is a turd of the highest degree. Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Angelica Huston, Ron Pearlman, Bruce Vilanch and John Carradine all star in this 1984 film whose most memorable moment is a shaving and castration scene early on.
The effects are horrible (you can see the matte lines around ships in some scenes), the humor is below the bottom of the barrel (a robot "peeing" on the deck before going into battle), the story is non-sensical and no one has any idea what type of film they were making.
Humorous? Parody? Serious? All of the above? None of the above? What is it? It's amazing that any of these actors have careers some 22 years after this $9 million turkey debuted.
Horrible, stupid, inane, worthless, pointless, without any merit whatsoever. The only film I will ever give negative stars to. Ugh.