oh how the mighty hath fallen
I wasn't going to go on line; but someone I pay a lot of money to talk to every other week said it would be good to keep a journal. I keep one, but not really.
I got an official verbal warning at work. I can't stop making stupid spelling mistakes. She said "i don't know what to do, I have a brilliant 30 year old wiz kid who might not be a good fit because of grammar errors.' The truth is I'm slightly dyslexic. I just mess words up, the problem is that it's so bad, and when I re read stuff I don't catch it.
However, I haven't been trying my hardest at work. I haven't been trying my hardest at anything really. I'm moving to a cool play on sept. 6th and I've had this attitude of 'oh I'll deal with that once I move'. Everything will be easier once I move, but I've been ignoring my 2nd job; cleaning; and OMFG food. Yes, I ignored food cause I kept thinking.. oh I'm moving soon.. and ate rice three nights in a row. I haven't been the best of friends, writing off a bachelor party; and letting one of my best friends down who just moved to boston and needed someone to lean on. I also hadn't worked out in over two months. Enter theme music, and prepare for the meat of this entry.
See, I think I'm like an addict. Sorta. I'm not really addicted to anything; and I can say no to anything *except a lap dance* BUT SERIOUSLY.. people who are in recovery talk about going to meetings. They say that when they don't go to meetings; their life starts to fall apart. They don't use necessarily; but they start partaking in their user behaviors. Staying out late; being selfish; lower amount of self care. Anyone who's ever worked or lived with an addict in recovery knows what I mean.
*but Scott Bloom what does this have to do with you* Well I'm glad you asked, TIME magazine.. I think that I just need to come to the realization that for me, working out is like going to meetings for an addict. I need to think of myself as an addict. Most of the big fuck ups in my life occurred when I wasn't working out; or taking a break from it. If I think of myself in that context, I should keep going to the gym, no matter how far it is. See the gym is walking distance to where I'm GOING to be living, so I just kept saying; oh when I move I'll....; and just like an addict not going to meetings, things slowly started to fall apart. I don't think anything is beyond repair; but I'm in hot water; and job stuff is my ONE BIG ISSUE.
Ok so I need to work out once a week. And I need to re think it. Not.. oh that's something I should do... more my life will fall apart at the seams if I don't. Some people take medications, some people need to go to meetings, I NEED to work out, and if I don't it will have the same effect as going off your medication, or missing you're meetings.
My name is Scott Bloom, and I'm a need-to-work-out-or-else-aholic.
I got an official verbal warning at work. I can't stop making stupid spelling mistakes. She said "i don't know what to do, I have a brilliant 30 year old wiz kid who might not be a good fit because of grammar errors.' The truth is I'm slightly dyslexic. I just mess words up, the problem is that it's so bad, and when I re read stuff I don't catch it.
However, I haven't been trying my hardest at work. I haven't been trying my hardest at anything really. I'm moving to a cool play on sept. 6th and I've had this attitude of 'oh I'll deal with that once I move'. Everything will be easier once I move, but I've been ignoring my 2nd job; cleaning; and OMFG food. Yes, I ignored food cause I kept thinking.. oh I'm moving soon.. and ate rice three nights in a row. I haven't been the best of friends, writing off a bachelor party; and letting one of my best friends down who just moved to boston and needed someone to lean on. I also hadn't worked out in over two months. Enter theme music, and prepare for the meat of this entry.
See, I think I'm like an addict. Sorta. I'm not really addicted to anything; and I can say no to anything *except a lap dance* BUT SERIOUSLY.. people who are in recovery talk about going to meetings. They say that when they don't go to meetings; their life starts to fall apart. They don't use necessarily; but they start partaking in their user behaviors. Staying out late; being selfish; lower amount of self care. Anyone who's ever worked or lived with an addict in recovery knows what I mean.
*but Scott Bloom what does this have to do with you* Well I'm glad you asked, TIME magazine.. I think that I just need to come to the realization that for me, working out is like going to meetings for an addict. I need to think of myself as an addict. Most of the big fuck ups in my life occurred when I wasn't working out; or taking a break from it. If I think of myself in that context, I should keep going to the gym, no matter how far it is. See the gym is walking distance to where I'm GOING to be living, so I just kept saying; oh when I move I'll....; and just like an addict not going to meetings, things slowly started to fall apart. I don't think anything is beyond repair; but I'm in hot water; and job stuff is my ONE BIG ISSUE.
Ok so I need to work out once a week. And I need to re think it. Not.. oh that's something I should do... more my life will fall apart at the seams if I don't. Some people take medications, some people need to go to meetings, I NEED to work out, and if I don't it will have the same effect as going off your medication, or missing you're meetings.
My name is Scott Bloom, and I'm a need-to-work-out-or-else-aholic.