I Wonder As I Wander
I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I worry too much. I don't know what to look forward to anymore. Colors seem ugly. Even yellow. I should really just say fuck it and not care what anyone says or thinks of me because in reality they are just as confused and messed up as I am. But still, life seems dull and pointless at times and that frightens me. I should be thrilled and ecstatic about being able to rise in the morning with another full day of opportunity. I complain soo much. From now on I promise to be optimistic and free of anxiety. To live in fear is to not live at all. But sometimes fear is impossible to escape. I suffocate myself with mistrust. I'm suprised I sill trust gravity to hold me down on earth. I went to Katie's birthday party and even though I felt slightly awkward I smiled and laughed and hugged and pretended to be joyous. I wanted to scream someone help me....but the only one who can change things for good is myself. God give me strength.