Your Presence I Need
Theme: 5. Hurt / Comfort @ number fic meme
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Ryeowook
Title: Your Presence I Need
Eunhyuk wondered what does a person need to do to make Ryeowook smile or perhaps who could make Ryeowook smile. Ryeowook always seem to have that cool and calm demeanor. The only emotion that can be easily seen from Ryeowook would be anger as he is capable of giving out an intense stare or glare because he was the kind of person that easily gets annoyed, irritated and angry. Rarely, Eunhyuk would be able to catch a glimpse of sadness in Ryeowook's eyes. Never, not even once, was Eunhyuk able to witness Ryeowook smile or anything close to happiness.
One afternoon Eunhyuk found Ryeowook standing by the river. Ryeowook looked angry but tears were running down on his face. His hands turned into fists at the sides. His shoulders looked stiff and tense.
"Do you need a friend to talk to?" Eunhyuk asked.
"You're not my friend."
"We can be friends from now on."
Ryeowook gave Eunhyuk a disbelieving look before walking away. Eunhyuk caught up with him and walked beside him. They continued to walk in silence along the river. Then Ryeowook suddenly stopped walking. The tears on his face were long ago dried up by the wind. Eunhyuk wondered what Ryeowook is thinking and what should they do now.
"It's getting late. You should go home now." Ryeowook talked.
"Are you trying to make me go away?"
Ryeowook gave him a what-do-you-think? look. Eunhyuk wondered why he even had to bother to try making friends with Ryeowook. But remembering Ryeowook's tears from earlier made him decide to be Ryeowook's friend. "I'll go home after I walk you home." Eunhyuk said.
Ryeowook simply shrugged and continued to walk. He was walking away from the river. Eunhyuk walked with him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In my sadness, I am alone.
With his presence, I'm not alone.
I don't know what I feel. Comforted? Happy?
He didn't even do anything.
All he did was just to be there for me.
-Ryeowook.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months since Eunhyuk started to spend some time with Ryeowook. It's not always. It's not everyday. Eunhyuk had his own group of friends who he always hang out with. Ryeowook was just usually alone by himself. But there are times, as if Eunhyuk had the perfect timing, when Ryeowook is feeling down, sad and angry, that Eunhyuk would just show up beside him and be with him.
Ryeowook didn't know what to think of Eunhyuk. He liked Eunhyuk's presence but at the same time, he doesn't want it. He's getting used to Eunhyuk's presence. It's comforting and making him happy but at the same time, he fears it. Because one day, he knows that Eunhyuk won't be there for him anymore... that Eunhyuk would completely abandon him.
In the end, he'll just be all by himself. So maybe it's not Eunhyuk's presence that is unwanted or feared. It's Eunhyuk's absence that is unwanted and feared for it to happen.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A letter came from Beijing Arts and Theater Academy saying that Ryeowook got the scholarship he wanted. It was all part of his plan. A plan which nobody but himself knew. It was a plan to get away from his family and house. He'll be moving to China by himself without anybody knowing after he graduates high school in Korea. The scholarship included the stay in the dorms which was a good thing because it'll lessen Ryeowook's worry with money. He did save money so he could ride a ship to China and buy other needs. However, that will soon run out so he planned to take a part-time job.
All Ryeowook have to do now is just graduate so he could proceed with the plan. However, meeting Eunhyuk wasn't a part of his plan. Eunhyuk, who made him hesitate to go on with his plan. "Does that mean I like Eunhyuk that much? That I could just throw away my future plans and stay here just to have his presence beside me? That I could let my family, who doesn't treat me like family, continue to let me work like a lowly servant for them because his presence will comfort me?"
So Ryeowook ended up spilling out his plans to Eunhyuk. But he didn't tell Eunhyuk about his hesitations and that Eunhyuk himself was the reason for his hesitations.
"Does you family really treat you that badly? That you hate them so much that you want to run all the way to China?" Eunhyuk asked. "Maybe it's not them. Maybe it's because of you. You always seem to rebel and you really have a bad attitude and a not so nice personality."
"You know Lee Donghae and Lee Sungmin? They're my brothers but do you see them claiming me as their brother or at least, being friendly towards me? Lee Donghae is my stepbrother. My mom married his dad and so Lee Sungmin was born. But me? I'm Kim Ryeowook. Only our family knows that I'm mom's child. Dad's relatives think that I'm just a household servant. But then again, that family really does treat me like one. I can't excel at anything. My father wouldn't allow me because I'm supposed to keep a low profile. I'm not supposed to be more intelligent or more talented than more brothers. I'm just supposed to teach them everything I know. When graduation or birthday comes, they have big celebration in which I act as a servant again and where as if it were my graduation or birthday, just money would be given to me. I'm not even allowed to call my parents mom or dad. Can you still tell me that they don't treat me badly?"
It was the most that Eunhyuk had ever heard Ryeowook speak. Such hatred and anger was held in Ryeowook's voice. There was a hint of sadness and disappointments in it but it was mostly hated and anger.
"Thank you."
Ryeowook wondered why Eunhyuk just suddenly said that.
"For sharing your future plans and your family's secret to me. To have that much trust in me. Up until now I really don't understand you but I think I understand you a bit more now... why you have that kind of attitude and personality... why you always have so much anger and hatred in you... I hope you'll change for the better when you get to China. I hope you'll succeed in your plans and in whatever you do over there. If you ever do come back to Korea... when we see each other again, I hope to see a smile on your face."
A smile. Ryeowook doesn't remember when was the last time he did that. But he truly wants to smile... for Eunhyuk. "I don't need to be in China to learn how to smile."
For the first time, Eunhyuk saw a small smile on Ryeowook's face. Happiness could be seen in Ryeowook's eyes and Ryeowook's face just seem to glow. It was the first time for Eunhyuk to see Ryeowook express such feelings. "You have a nice smile." Eunhyuk said sincerely. He wished he had a camera with him so he could have a picture of Ryeowook's smile and place it somewhere like in his wallet perhaps. But instead, he'll just have Ryeowook's smile in his memory and treasure it in his heart.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Graduation. In just an hour, graduation will start. After a few more hours, graduation will be over. Ryeowook will come home and receive his graduation gift, which is more likely to be money, from his so called parents. When night comes and everybody is asleep, Ryeowook will sneak out of the house. He'll go to the port and ride on the ship to be on his way to China.
It wasn't a part of Ryeowook's plan to meet up with Eunhyuk before graduation starts. Eunhyuk was talking about a lot of high school memories and that he'll miss a lot of people in high school especially Ryeowook. Eunhyuk was being emotional and cried a lot. Ryeowook knew that Eunhyuk chose to be with him at that moment because if Eunhyuk was with his own group of friends, then Eunhyuk would be teased for being a crybaby. Ryeowook decided to shut him up from talking and stop him from crying by kissing Eunhyuk.
After graduation, Ryeowook planned to go straight back home. He knew that there wouldn’t be any party planned for him but he knew that his step father would at least give him some money. Then he’ll start packing his things secretly and take some rest. After all, he planned to leave the house and Korea when night falls.
But Eunhyuk’s presence made Ryeowook adjust his plans. Eunhyuk invited him to the graduation party that Eunhyuk’s family and relatives held. “What about your girlfriend?” Ryeowook asked. He didn’t see Eunhyuk’s girlfriend anywhere.
“She has her own graduation party to attend to.” Eunhyuk said. Somehow, that made Ryeowook happy because he can have Eunhyuk by his side most of the time. It also made him happy that Eunhyuk’s family and relatives congratulated him. Something that his own family would never do so.
When Ryeowook got home, it was late in the afternoon. His stepfather scolded him because the graduation ended hours ago and Ryeowook didn’t come home early. He decided not to give Ryeowook money instead for coming home late.
“I was having a graduation party with Eunhyuk knowing that I have no family or relatives that would give me a graduation party.” Ryeowook usually never spoke back to his stepfather but after spending some time with Eunhyuk’s family and relatives, Ryeowook realized how much he lacked love from his own so called family. “And I got some money and other gifts from Eunhyuk’s family and relatives. Want to know what else I got from them? They said congratulations to me with happy smiles on their faces. Something which you and my real mother or step brothers wouldn’t ever show me!!!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Night came and everybody in the house was asleep. Ryeowook made his escape. He planned to run fast to the bus stop and take the public bus to the subway and then to the port. What he didn’t expect once again was to adjust his plans because of Eunhyuk’s presence.
Eunhyuk was right outside his house, waiting for him.
“What are you doing here?” Ryeowook asked.
“To be with you before you leave.” Eunhyuk decided to lend Ryeowook a helping hand by carrying his other bag. “Woah! It’s pretty heavy. I guess you packed a lot of stuff. Seems like you’re really ready to leave.”
“I can’t wait to leave this house, to leave those strangers that I call family, to leave Korea.” Ryeowook said with a spiteful tone on his face but his tone turned soft and gentle the next words came out. “… but I don’t want to leave you.”
Eunhyuk knew that their friendship meant something to Ryeowook but he never knew until now, that he was someone important in Ryeowook’s life.
They walked together in silence to the bus stop. They missed the bus but that’s okay because it if they take the next bus, there would still be enough time for Ryeowook not to be late for his ship.
“This morning… when you kissed me… “ Eunhyuk was blushing and stuttering. Ryeowook found it cute and strange at the same time. After all, Eunhyuk already as a girlfriend but here is Eunhyuk right now, speaking and acting like a high school girl with a teenage crush.
Ryeowook remembered the taste of Eunhyuk’s lips and looking at Eunhyuk right now, he couldn’t resist to lean closer and have a taste of those lips again. He didn’t expect for Eunhyuk to kiss back. The kiss made Ryeowook want to cancel all his plans and just simply to stay here in Korea and be with Eunhyuk even if he knew that Eunhyuk already has a girlfriend. But Eunhyuk was kissing him back so… that must mean something.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Six years have passed by. When Ryeowook left Korea, he decided to leave everything behind including his memories with Eunhyuk. He started afresh, met friends, gained a new personality, started dating and having different boyfriends. He was able to do a lot of extracurricular activities and excelled in his studies and talents.
When Ryeowook came back to Korea, he became a famous singer and actor. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t have gone back to Korea but it was a job he had to do, a step on becoming an international star. He had a movie to do with a Korean actress. On his flight back to Korea, for the first time in six years, he allowed his mind to remember all the memories he had in the past in Korea. His bad memories with his family. His good memories with Eunhyuk.
A week passed by since Ryeowook had arrived in Korea. He was mostly busy with work. Little free time he had, he would simply stay and sleep at the temporary apartment that he and his manager and other staff rented. Sometimes, he used his free time to sign autographs for his fans that are always present in front of the apartment.
“You bought two of my cds? What’s your name?” Ryeowook asked. He always asked the name of his fans so he could write their names on the cd together with his own name and signature.
“My name is Shindong. That other cd is for my friend, Eunhyuk.”
Ryeowook almost dropped his pen when he heard the name. No, it can’t be. It’s probably just coincidence but Ryeowook couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Eunhyuk? As in Lee Hyukjae?”
The fan named Shindong widened his eyes. “How’d you know his real name? Wait… does that mean the two of you know each other all along? That monkey!!! Why didn’t he tell me that he actually knows someone famous!!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Eunhyuk wondered what Shindong could be up to. He just got a call from Shindong, who sounded very excited about his surprise for Eunhyuk and that he sounded very sure that his surprise would make Eunhyuk very happy and that it won’t be a failure like the previous surprises that he had planned.
Before Eunhyuk opened the door to his apartment, he remembered Shindong’s words from the phone earlier. “When you arrive at your apartment, you’ll be in for a big surprise!!!” And so Eunhyuk was started to feel excited for the surprise.
When he opened the door, he saw his surprise looking right back at him. “Ry… Ryeowook?!?!” He can’t believe it. Ryeowook, who was his friend from high school, the one who he hadn’t had any contact with for six years, the one who became a famous actor and singer. Ryeowook was sitting on his couch and staring right back at him.
“Eunhyuk…” Ryeowook had a lot of thoughts on what he was suppose to say to Eunhyuk or on how they would react when they see each other but in the end, only one word came out of his mouth and that was Eunhyuk’s name. After that, he just doesn’t know what to do.
“You didn’t contact me.” That came out from Eunhyuk’s mouth as a statement. Ever since Ryeowook left Korea, he had always waited for Ryeowook to contact him. If it were up to him, he would have contacted Ryeowook but he couldn’t because he didn’t know Ryeowook’s school, email address or cellphone number. Ryeowook refused to give him any form of contact but instead, promised to contact Eunhyuk first.
Ryeowook winced as he remembered the promise he made years ago. He broke that promise but then, it was just an empty promise to begin with. “It was part of the plan to forget everything about Korea including you.”
“Then why are you here? If you’ve forgotten about me and refused to contact me for six years, why do you show yourself to me?”
“If it wasn’t because of my job, I wouldn’t have come back to Korea. If it wasn’t for Shindong asking for my autograph and mentioning your name, I wouldn’t have been here.”
“That’s not an answer to my question. Why are you here?” Eunhyuk’s voice sounded firm, strict and serious. It was a tone of voice that Ryeowook never heard from Eunhyuk before.
“Because I couldn’t forget about you.” Ryeowook finally found the right words to say to Eunhyuk. “I met a lot of people, made new friends, dated some guys, had two boyfriends. Sure, they help me forget about Korea but not you. I couldn’t forget about you. Every now and then, I would think of contacting you. I would be very tempted to do so. I still have the paper with your email address and cellphone number on it. But I would always back out thinking that you’re probably leading your own happy life without me. I couldn’t exactly be that special to you right? I mean you have a girlfriend. Even if you did kiss me back, that was just some heat in the moment.”
“If you just contacted me, you would have found out that I broke up with her right after you left Korea and that I never went into another relationship for the past six years. Sure, I may be happy but never completely happy because a part of me is worried on how you are doing in China, frustrated that you haven’t contacted me and that I have no way on contacting you, angry on why I kept on waiting for you to contact me even up to this very day!!! Now, tell me. Do you still think that you are not special to me? If I kiss you right now, do you think it’s because of some heat in the moment?”
Ryeowook couldn’t reply because he couldn’t speak. Not when Eunhyuk was kissing him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“So you’re going back to China.” Eunhyuk wasn’t happy at all. It had just been a month since they started their relationship. They weren’t able to spend much time together because they had their own jobs to attend to. Now, Ryeowook finished filming for the movie and he has to go back to China.
“I’ll contact you.”
“You didn’t contact me the last time you said that.”
“I’ll contact you.” Ryeowook repeated, sounding more sincere and honest.
“Whatever.” Eunhyuk doesn’t want to keep his hopes up and expect too much like the last time.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When Ryeowook left, Eunhyuk wondered if Ryeowook would keep his promise in contacting him and how long does he have to wait. But compared to the years he had waited before, he only had to wait for a few hours for Ryeowook to contact him this time.
“I just landed safely at China.”
Eunhyuk felt relieved that Ryeowook kept his promise. Now, Eunhyuk believes that their relationship might really just work out this time around.
“That’s good. I love you.”
Ryeowook almost dropped his phone. Eunhyuk never really said those words to him before.
“Aren’t you going to say that you love me back?” Eunhyuk spoke up again.
“If you really want to hear me say that, you better come here in China.” Ryeowook said in a teasing manner.
“But that’s going to take some time… like months from now…”
“I’m hanging up. Bye!!!” Ryeowook pressed the stop button. Then he opened his message box to write a new text message.
Send To: Eunhyuk
You won’t hear me say it…
Until you come over here in China.
But I can send you messages like this everyday.
I love you!!!
Sending…
Message Sent
In Eunhyuk’s cellphone…
1 Message Received
Eunhyuk opened and read the message. “I seriously need to start saving up to fly to China.”
THE END
A/N: It's been a looong while since I've written a long one-shot (as you've seen in my latest previous entries, they're just really short fics!) so I really felt accomplished when I finished this. Please comment? I'll really appreciate it especially since this is just a rare pairing~ I think. Comment and I'll love ya!!!! ^____^