Bitch, I keel j00
I dislike summer because of its fucking heat. I also dislike it because pests like ants and farkin' cockroaches think it's the best time to go out of hiding because ZOMG, no rain to wash us off!
Basically, when it comes to cockroaches, the Jiru-chan Equation is like this: Cockroach > Jiru-chan. Or Cockroach to Jiru-chan: "Y U SO DUMB. I TWITCH TWITCH U RUN RUN. LOL N00BCAKES."
So, I woke up early this morning because I fell asleep early (again). I went to my Mac and did more on my next LJ layout. I realised that I didn't brush my teeth yet, so I went and did just that.
When I came back, I immediately noticed a medium-sized cockroach perched on top of my closet. Now, if you've read my previous entries regarding my Cockroach Busting Skills you should know that a blind man has a better aim than me when I try hitting on cockroaches. The reasons are primarily two things: 1) I really can't aim for shit, and 2) FUCK, I HATE HAVING TO LOOK AT A COCKROACH WITH ITS ANTENNAE TWITCHING AT ME ARGGGGHHHHHH. I hate looking at cockroaches SO much that I yelp like a wussy when I see it move by a CENTIMETER.
Anyway, so I had a major problem in my hands. Even if I had perfect aim, I still couldn't reach the fucking cockroach because it was almost at the ceiling. I surely couldn't throw something heavy at it because I just knew that I'd be damaging something else (like my iMac, which was directly at the bottom of the friggin' cockroach). I disliked having to go down to get the insecticide because much as I hated looking at cockroaches, I couldn't look away. I shouldn't. Hell if I let it get away and having it turn up in my pillow while I was snoring away.
So, I took my slipper anyway and just stood in front of it, waiting for it to go down. It didn't. In fact, it even turned towards my direction, its FUCKING ANTENNAE twitching at me as if it was going, "LOL I TWITCH TWITCH LETS SEE U RUN RUN."
One thing that I noticed about it was it wasn't restless. In fact, when it probably decided that I wasn't a threat (Jiru-chan has a low aggro threat against cockroaches, apparently), it just relaxed there, still perched on top of my closet like it was readying itself to have its photo taken. I then took the opportunity to hurriedly go down and get the insecticide. When I came back, it was still there. (It was THAT relaxed. It could've been snoring the night away.)
When I finally sprayed the gruesome stuff directly at it, it came scuffling away. Thankfully, it probably didn't get enough experience points in speed because it didn't zoom past just as other cockroaches are wont to do. So, I just kept going at it.
Then, horror of horrors: It came scuffling down on the wall behind my bed. OH FUCK. Why do cockroaches always know where to hide? The problem with my bed is I've got loads of stuff toys leaning against a wall, so the friggin' cockroach decided that it was best to hide behind my Moribears teddies. I braced myself and tossed each stuff toy one by one until I found it scuffling ON MY PILLOW. Needless to say, my whole bed reeks of insecticide by now. ~_~
It disappeared then. Fuck. How was I supposed to go back to sleep now? I removed all of my pillows and my blanket, but none. Oh, shit, it's somewhere near the bed, I knew it. So, I waited for it to slowly creep out, but nothing. Eventually, I grew tired of waiting and I decided to just continue working on my Mac, but I was very jumpy and I'd keep on looking at my bed just to check.
So, 25 minutes later, my Dad woke up and asked me why my bedroom door was open (and why I was awake at 4 in the morning). I told him what happened and, well, if you knew my father you'd know that he dislikes cockroaches as much as I do. The only difference is, he would actually chase those motherfuckers down and would derive some pleasure seeing its guts spilled out.
He decided to do a search and got a flashlight. It didn't take him long to find the cockroach behind my bed (near the wall). Apparently, I did a good job for it already had its legs in the air (FUCK I HAAAAAAAAAAATE THAT), still twitching but completely immobilised. He told me that he'd have it cleaned later (it's a really narrow space, so only a long and thin tube of a vacuum cleaner could reach it).
So, with the question of the cockroach's fate answered, my father retired back to their bedroom. I, on the other hand, was feeling incredibly sadistic and I grabbed the insecticide and proceeded to spray the nasty directly on the cockroach. Yes, even though it was already at the throes of death. I wanted to laugh like a maniac when I saw it twitching its legs pathetically. Then, a voice inside me echoed: "POWER! GIVE ME MORE POWER!1 AHAHAH BITCH I KEEL J00."
The end.
1 OMFG I LOVE YOUUUUUU NERO. Dante, don't be angry, I still love youuuuuu. T_T Vergil, please forgive me for I have sinned against you. Punish me, plz.
Apparently, killing cockroaches is so important that it merits one long-ass LJ entry. It's a noble job. *nod nod*
Basically, when it comes to cockroaches, the Jiru-chan Equation is like this: Cockroach > Jiru-chan. Or Cockroach to Jiru-chan: "Y U SO DUMB. I TWITCH TWITCH U RUN RUN. LOL N00BCAKES."
So, I woke up early this morning because I fell asleep early (again). I went to my Mac and did more on my next LJ layout. I realised that I didn't brush my teeth yet, so I went and did just that.
When I came back, I immediately noticed a medium-sized cockroach perched on top of my closet. Now, if you've read my previous entries regarding my Cockroach Busting Skills you should know that a blind man has a better aim than me when I try hitting on cockroaches. The reasons are primarily two things: 1) I really can't aim for shit, and 2) FUCK, I HATE HAVING TO LOOK AT A COCKROACH WITH ITS ANTENNAE TWITCHING AT ME ARGGGGHHHHHH. I hate looking at cockroaches SO much that I yelp like a wussy when I see it move by a CENTIMETER.
Anyway, so I had a major problem in my hands. Even if I had perfect aim, I still couldn't reach the fucking cockroach because it was almost at the ceiling. I surely couldn't throw something heavy at it because I just knew that I'd be damaging something else (like my iMac, which was directly at the bottom of the friggin' cockroach). I disliked having to go down to get the insecticide because much as I hated looking at cockroaches, I couldn't look away. I shouldn't. Hell if I let it get away and having it turn up in my pillow while I was snoring away.
So, I took my slipper anyway and just stood in front of it, waiting for it to go down. It didn't. In fact, it even turned towards my direction, its FUCKING ANTENNAE twitching at me as if it was going, "LOL I TWITCH TWITCH LETS SEE U RUN RUN."
One thing that I noticed about it was it wasn't restless. In fact, when it probably decided that I wasn't a threat (Jiru-chan has a low aggro threat against cockroaches, apparently), it just relaxed there, still perched on top of my closet like it was readying itself to have its photo taken. I then took the opportunity to hurriedly go down and get the insecticide. When I came back, it was still there. (It was THAT relaxed. It could've been snoring the night away.)
When I finally sprayed the gruesome stuff directly at it, it came scuffling away. Thankfully, it probably didn't get enough experience points in speed because it didn't zoom past just as other cockroaches are wont to do. So, I just kept going at it.
Then, horror of horrors: It came scuffling down on the wall behind my bed. OH FUCK. Why do cockroaches always know where to hide? The problem with my bed is I've got loads of stuff toys leaning against a wall, so the friggin' cockroach decided that it was best to hide behind my Moribears teddies. I braced myself and tossed each stuff toy one by one until I found it scuffling ON MY PILLOW. Needless to say, my whole bed reeks of insecticide by now. ~_~
It disappeared then. Fuck. How was I supposed to go back to sleep now? I removed all of my pillows and my blanket, but none. Oh, shit, it's somewhere near the bed, I knew it. So, I waited for it to slowly creep out, but nothing. Eventually, I grew tired of waiting and I decided to just continue working on my Mac, but I was very jumpy and I'd keep on looking at my bed just to check.
So, 25 minutes later, my Dad woke up and asked me why my bedroom door was open (and why I was awake at 4 in the morning). I told him what happened and, well, if you knew my father you'd know that he dislikes cockroaches as much as I do. The only difference is, he would actually chase those motherfuckers down and would derive some pleasure seeing its guts spilled out.
He decided to do a search and got a flashlight. It didn't take him long to find the cockroach behind my bed (near the wall). Apparently, I did a good job for it already had its legs in the air (FUCK I HAAAAAAAAAAATE THAT), still twitching but completely immobilised. He told me that he'd have it cleaned later (it's a really narrow space, so only a long and thin tube of a vacuum cleaner could reach it).
So, with the question of the cockroach's fate answered, my father retired back to their bedroom. I, on the other hand, was feeling incredibly sadistic and I grabbed the insecticide and proceeded to spray the nasty directly on the cockroach. Yes, even though it was already at the throes of death. I wanted to laugh like a maniac when I saw it twitching its legs pathetically. Then, a voice inside me echoed: "POWER! GIVE ME MORE POWER!1 AHAHAH BITCH I KEEL J00."
The end.
1 OMFG I LOVE YOUUUUUU NERO. Dante, don't be angry, I still love youuuuuu. T_T Vergil, please forgive me for I have sinned against you. Punish me, plz.
Apparently, killing cockroaches is so important that it merits one long-ass LJ entry. It's a noble job. *nod nod*