the dream was interesting though. it was a block puzzle that i had to reset by waking up.

[jiremi]

so before entering DREAM FESTIVAL yesterday morning, i realized that i'm still miserable. but I thought long and hard about it and figured out.. I have no idea why I feel this way. I mean there were some obvious things that I figured out, but if I were to bring them up I think I'd only make things worse; in the situation, and how I feel. I really

Comments

[jiremi]

I agree with you there, hahaha! But it does help. I'll probably end up second guessing your intentions down the road but right now it's comforting. I don't know what I'm looking for, however.

I speak with my mother often. I'm open and I'm 'myself' around her. I want to get to being that way around other people. But it's hard. Like i said in my post, I'm afraid of being hurt. But instead of standing up to life and taking a chance, I hide behind masks. I don't like that, but again I'm not sure how to change it.

To be honest, sometimes talking to someone in person can be harder than online. I'm a lot closer to 'myself' online than I am in person around most people.

I'll try and hit you up. But I don't want to bother you and you're usually busy. I trust everyone on a level enough to talk to them. It's just a matter of what I'm willing to tell a person. It's entirely dependent on how they act as a person. How much I need to guard myself around them. Or how comfortable I am speaking to them. I've actually opened up to you a few times. While nothing was solved, our talks made me not worry about things (school, life direction, etc) AS much. I don't mind talking to you. good always comes out of it.

[scrotumnose]

yeah, i think talking in person is always at least 200% harder online, it's got 'real' consequences if something goes awry! but that's kind of the burden you NEED to overcome if you want to achieve peace with yourself and your perception of the 'self'. regarding the therapy, it's possible that the money and desire to make the most out of the precious, expensive time you have will make opening up that much easier, but yeah, the bottom line is that these are feelings that need to be vented in person, to another person. it makes me wish i was still in chicago! what a waste, i would have dragged you out all the damn time if i knew how close you were! but que sera, no use in lamenting over unchangeable things.

regarding my busy-factor... yeah, i'm always busy. tremendously busy. but i have a policy - i'm never, ever too busy to help a friend in need. that always takes priority to me over a day job. so if you're in a funk and need help, i will do everything i can to help. you're more important than facebook games, lee!!!!! i promise i will drop what i am doing and shoot the shit with you.

there's no second guessing ol scrote, i've always been a pretty open book and tremendously easy to read