What is this???

[jinxygatito]

well i don't know what is going on around the school but it seriously needs to stop. all of this drama is making me sick! i am tired of worrying about who's names i can't say around others, and vice versa. this is so stupid! we are freakin 16 and 17 years old, and this is how we act? how long have most of us been friends? too long to let some bs

Comments

[badbrize]

I'm sorry that you feel like you are not good enough, because clearly that is not the case. But honestly I always got the idea that because we didn't have that much in common that you all didn't want to hang around me. It's generally a "Shut up Brigette" type deal. I don't have a problem with not sharing common interests because neither Angela or Dackory like a lot of the things I like, but they also don't make me feel bad for liking them. I have not dropped you all, at all.

I dunno. It really hurts that a lot of people seem to get mad at me, saying that I distance myself from you all because I like different things, and yet you make me feel bad for liking it. Especially coming from my bestest friends. And before you deny it, you should think about all the times I've brought up something that I enjoy and you've told me to be quiet.

However I don't wish to not be friends with anyone. And I've never not had time for you all, but when you all go to the mall and movies and stuff you don't invite me, so what am I supposed to do? Be a Janelle and invite myself? Why, when there are clearly people who it doesn't seem to forget to include me. And I think that if you or anyone else was in my same position you would do that same thing.

[jinxygatito]

i don't remember it being a "shut up brigette" thing. i know that you like manga, you know that i don't like manga. even though i don't like manga, i still respect you. and about the whole mall/movies thing. you know that i don't go anywhere. i don't do anything. the only thing i do is babysit. if i went to the movies i probably would invite you, same thing goes for the mall. i don't think that i ever mad eyou feel bad for liking any of the things you like. everyone has something they like, that others don't. i like the food network, everybody doesn't like that, but i don't blame them. maybe you should stop thinking that everybody is trying to ostrasize you, and start thinking about the ways in which you ostrasize yourself.

[badbrize]

Maybe you don't notice it but you have said that to me, on multiple occasions. If I do ostrasize myself, I do it after beind shot down by you or other people. I wish you'd stop making it seem like I'm the only person who is in the wrong here, because I haven't done anything out of the ordinary that I haven't been doing for the past two years.

And about the movies/mall thing I guess it wasn't to you, just ya'll in general, because you are not the only person (in the past few days) who came to me saying that it's my fault that we don't talk. When I see you, I speak, and I've never not been there if you needed someone to talk to. So I honestly don't know where any of this is coming from.

To me, this just seems like a way for you all to gang up on me at once. I just found out a few days ago that you even felt like that, and even Jenna, and I honestly don't think that's fair. I'm sorry, I know this is coming off bitchy in writing, so if you would like to talk to clear things we can talk later.

[jinxygatito]

sorry but i don't ever remember telling you to shut when you were talking about manga. i may have looked at you funny, or rolled my eyes but i don't remember telling you to shut up about manga. i also wanted to say that me coming to you with this has nothing to do with any one else. my entry was addressing everyone, and then i broke it down. the reason i said something is because i felt that this had gone on for far too long.

and i am not putting all of the blame on you, but i am putting a lot of the blame on you. i am not saying that i am perfect or that i have been the perfect friend, but hey i can only do so much. i am the same person that i have always been, you however are not. and don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with change, because everyone does.

ok, you like manga...thats great. ok, so you start to become immersed (sp)in japanese culture...thats great also. ok, so you begin to make new friends...thats great too. but then you forgot about me, and your other friends. i have new friends...but i have never forgotten about the old ones. i also know that if i needed something or if something happened, i know that i could count on my old friends.

and this isn't something new either. this has been going on since last year. it has been a downward spiral. it wasn't as bad as it is this year, but that is when it began. last year the only people you hung out with was jenna and anthony. you all would go out and do together, and there is nothing wrong with that. and then when you all went to msa, that bond became even stronger. the when you got back all you could talk about is jenna and anthony and msa.

then this year you began to hang around all the id kids (which is natural since you all have the same classes). now all you do is talk about them, and go out with them. the few times we do talk to each other, you are talking about how you and whitney, kris, and kat just came from the mall.

i am not going to make you choose between friends, i just want you to understand the way i feel. whenever i come around and try to hang out with you, it gets so damn silent! its like walking in on someone how just got finished talking about you. i hate being around the ib kids, not all of them, but most of them. they always seem to be talking about something so wordly, and i don't feel comfortable. you can say what you want, but if you don't think that the ib kids act differently, then ask any non-iber.

this is just how i feel about the topic.

[badbrize]

Perhaps you have a selective memory, but whatever. I don't see how you can put a lot of blame on me, when everything I do is a reaction to how others treat me. I didn't want to have to move on, but it does get really tiring to even see you roll your eyes about something that I care about. I've never rolled my eyes or done anything like that towards your food network obsession. When I come over your house I'll watch it with you, because it's not about what it is, it's about being with you. If I even look like I want to mention anything slightly Japanese almost everyone goes off the deep end. But it doesn't matter anymore, I'm not obsessed with it, not nearly as obsessed as Melodee and Jenna are with spanish. Or is that obsession okay?

And I've never forgotten about you. Whenever I'm talking to the other IB people I talk about you just like they talk about people that they talk to and I don't. It's not some competition or about trying to block myself off from you or anyone else.

About the other IB folks, I really don't know what to say. Maybe you are just paranoid or something. I don't doubt that when people come over the jokes might come to an end, but isn't that everywhere? I gurantee that whatever we are talking about, it is more than likely not deep or insightful or about anything of importance.

But anyway, while you think about how we "IB kids" leave you all out, whenever I try to stand over by that table or get in on something everyone over there makes me feel uncomfortable, like I don't belong, which hurts a little but I move on, and which is why I just go back over to the couch. And for some reason, when it's just a few people, there doesn't seem to be a real problem, but a lot of the times in the morning I'll stand over there, try to at least see how everyone is doing and you'd probably just ignore me anyway. One thing that I can say is that when you come over, I always acknowledge you, say what's up so that you wouldn't have a reason to be uncomfortable, but it doesn't seem like you'd do that for me. I love all of them: Jasmine, Shonda, you, Phi, and anyone who is over that at that time. Love them to death. But everytime I step over there I just feel like no one really wants me there. Or times when I'll be standing talking to other people, people who aren't even in IB like Sam today after school, I'll turn around and the whole table is staring at me, and that is...scary.

Jenna and Anthony were also people who never seemed to have a problem with my obsession with things. Maybe the whole problem here, between me and you, Mel and me, and who ever else who feels like I've changed, is that I got tired of feeling worthless, or like dead weight. Maybe I just got fed up with being looking down upon or verbally abused because I don't act the same as they do, and I've finally had the courage to walk away.

Not only that, but all of those people who claim that I'm fake to them, or that I've changed or something know that I need them more than they need me, which is why we have to go through this all the time. I'd cling on forever, until the world stopped spinning, even while being dragged along.

But honestly, what hurts the most is that you say this has been going down hill and you feel like you can't depend on me. For real. I've always been there for you, when you call me, I always answer, I've never brushed you off, and I sure has hell never did it for any IB kids.

[jinxygatito]

whenever i am around jenna and mel they don't constantly talk about spanish culture. they may say a few words in spanish, but unless they are together, they don't really "obsess" over it.

obviously i can't make you understand, so i will just stop replying.