I Always Knew Ben Was A Stalker
Stalking is illegal. jinxycat confronts crazykidben.
crazykidben is stalking jinxycat
crazykidben’s REAL name :
Rhoads Peterson
crazykidben’s REAL DOB :
19th August 1971
Height :170 cm
Weight : 83.8 kg
crazykidben has dreamt about you :
30 times
crazykidben became interested in you :
01st January 2003
crazykidben’s latest dream about you
Both you and crazykidben are working in an animal sanctuary together. crazykidben suggests that you retire to the empty ape sanctuary for a while for a bit of role-play.
This is how crazykidben describes your relationship behind your back
‘We’re star-crossed lovers! We could not possibly be in love anymore than we already are.’
crazykidben’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
crazykidben enjoys munching on your toenail clippings that they once hoked out of your bin late one evening.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
In a night of sheer angst crazykidben carved ‘jinxycat’ into their forehead with a set of bakers tongs.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I think I’ve just creamed myself thinking about you. There’s no tissue paper in the house to clear up the mess so I’ve used this card instead.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
15 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Ah fuck it not again. Look crazykidben you little bastard, get your fucking head out of my bin or else I’m phoning the cops. Right that’s fucking it! Hello police? Yes it’s crazykidben again. The little shit-stirrer."
crazykidben’s Police File
crazykidben seems to have changed their ways in the past couple of years. Our only complaints are that it refuses to wash. You should have smelt their fucking cell after they were released. One of our wardens nearly died of shock.
Testimonies about crazykidben
burntembers - A daring kleptomaniac
‘I can’t believe what I’m hearing! crazykidben a stalker? Well I suppose it makes sense actually. That bastard had really shifty eyes…’
neppy27 - Naked Meglomaniac
‘Ahhh none of this is new to me. jinxycat’s been telling me about crazykidben’s antics for ages now. I don’t honestly know why she has put up with it for so long.’
serendipitytrue - The Devil In Disguise
‘I always knew there was something different about crazykidben. I’m alway suspicious of people who become aroused upon watching barnyard animals give birth.’