I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lime and a shot of tequila.
I am so glad to be off work today. Subway is a pretty cake job, but for such a small group of people there is so much drama... I have had about enough of that.
man I feel like i have drank way too much in the last week, not that i am conplaining but my liver probably is. It hasent been too bad, I figure the alterative is way worse. I havent done that really bad thing in almost 2 months.... and Im sure that that dosent sound too astounding, But as much as I have craved it, its been a pretty big feat.
Addiction is a sick little mind game.... I know I dont want it because in the end it makes me feel like shit, so I know that its not worth it. BUt because I had to go and fuck with my brain, It is punishing me, so I feel like shit anyway... and my brain says " comeon... do it and Ill give you all the chemicals you need, and you wont feel like shit anymore."
Fuck even my brain is agianst me!
And the other day I even found out what withdrawl is like... that was a real fucking trip to disney land. Out of no where I started sweating and my heart rate speeded up, It calmed down after a few mins. but then I fealt like i had been up for days, and I was comming down hardcore.
Now when I have actually been in that situation, being up for a few days means that you will see things, and probably hear them too. and comming down from that only makes it worse, and you are tired, hungry and pissed off at the world and worst of all you crave that shit so bad bacuse of you do more it will ease all of that.
It was a pretty shitty deal, and I was pissed that it was happening to me because I hadent done anything!
Since that happened It hasent been quite as bad, and i learned that when i really crave it and my brain keeps on insisting..... when my brain is drunk or high it kinda forgets about making my life a living hell.
Alcoholics Anomyous here I come.
man I feel like i have drank way too much in the last week, not that i am conplaining but my liver probably is. It hasent been too bad, I figure the alterative is way worse. I havent done that really bad thing in almost 2 months.... and Im sure that that dosent sound too astounding, But as much as I have craved it, its been a pretty big feat.
Addiction is a sick little mind game.... I know I dont want it because in the end it makes me feel like shit, so I know that its not worth it. BUt because I had to go and fuck with my brain, It is punishing me, so I feel like shit anyway... and my brain says " comeon... do it and Ill give you all the chemicals you need, and you wont feel like shit anymore."
Fuck even my brain is agianst me!
And the other day I even found out what withdrawl is like... that was a real fucking trip to disney land. Out of no where I started sweating and my heart rate speeded up, It calmed down after a few mins. but then I fealt like i had been up for days, and I was comming down hardcore.
Now when I have actually been in that situation, being up for a few days means that you will see things, and probably hear them too. and comming down from that only makes it worse, and you are tired, hungry and pissed off at the world and worst of all you crave that shit so bad bacuse of you do more it will ease all of that.
It was a pretty shitty deal, and I was pissed that it was happening to me because I hadent done anything!
Since that happened It hasent been quite as bad, and i learned that when i really crave it and my brain keeps on insisting..... when my brain is drunk or high it kinda forgets about making my life a living hell.
Alcoholics Anomyous here I come.