Im in such a odd mood
So last night like I said I was sooo excited to finally talk with Ryah it was just like old days he finally opened up to me. I even was able to give him advice. At one point he asked me if our convo was wierd or hard we could just stop. Well to be honest with you it was hard BUT i didnt want to stop 1. he was finally opening up to me 2. if I cant be the one for him as a g/f at least I can be the best friend. YET when I found out the girl he has an interest on. Of ALL the girls there it had to be one of the ones i knew. AND to top it off last semester when him and i were together and I went down to go see him (6 hr drive each way) the entire time he kept talking about her. THEN when she went out with a good guy friend of hers that night instead of hanging out with us he was pissed and would not stop brigning it up. I didnt say anything but as soon as I left his school I knew I lost him :( He didnt notice yet and I tried very hard once I came back to work things out but it didnt work. I dont know I have moved on (to someone in another state NOT a surprise) but it still drives me crazy to know some other girl is going to get him. I just dont want him to get hurt and most of all i dont want him to get so caught up in the realtionship he forgets about me even more. That was ideas running in my head last night. Well this morning as I was driving to school I had some time to relax and think. As long as he is happy thats all that matters. Im sure a major part of my pain and sorrow I had last night is from how he has a perfect chance to be with a girl funny, very pretty, talented, VERY musically talented (i didnt have that which was a major problem in his eyes. He never said it but I could always tell) For now as long as thigns between him and I stay like they are I would be in my glory. Next subject so im getting kinda nervous well no correction not kind of im VERY nervous for Saturday. I dont even really know my date (i have hung out with him 3 or 4 times) yet almost everytime I was drunk :/ I dont know I think I am just worrying myself I mean Mel and Alex will be there as well as a few others I know. Its a chance for me to dress up, have a nice dinner, dance and drink for FREE! haha well thats odd he just IMed me maybe this is my chance to get to know him some more. Hmm what else? Well Today is going to be a crazy day. Im already back from class and working out. I have to go to work form 2-7 then celebration practice from 8-12:30 Ahhhh :0 and some how study for my mid-terms. Alrighty well seeing as how I do have such a crazy day I should get moving instead of wasting time.