three hundred and seventeen
The end of the semester makes me psycho. It never fails. It also is a time for all ridiculous things to climax in miserable glory all over my life. Fuck it.
Here is the deal: I cut half of my damn finger off last week trying to swat a fly off of my laptop. I wish I could explain in detail, because I'm sure it makes no sense, but I can't. All I know is that my laptop holds the power to mangle flesh. Scary? Quite. I suppose this is payback for the Sangria night when I flipped it 5 feet onto the living room floor because I was, and I quote, "fucking tired."
Well, you know. I AM fucking tired. I'm fucking tired of people, I'm tired of school, I'm tired of work. I'm tired of being tired and having no time to sleep. I'm tired of people telling me THEY'RE tired and sad and upset and stressed and whoooooooocares cause we ALL are. I'm tired of excuses. I'm tired of not having money. I'm tired of not being able to be there for my friend when she obviously needs a friend. I'm tired of insensitivity. I'm tired of the goddamn swine flu. I'm tired of my car always breaking. I'm tired of my cats getting sick and having to go to the vet. I'm tired of cleaning up puke from said sickness. I'm tired of the apartment being dirty and having to do the dishes everytime I look at the kitchen. I'm tired of watering the plants. I'm tired of having to wash my hands every 20 minutes because I'm a hypochondriac. I'm tired of having to buy 3 bags of cat food and 2 buckets of cat litter. I'm tired of CNN, Larry King, republicans, democrats, pirates, epidemics, pandemics, the president, the supreme court, and that journalist accused of being a spy. I'm tired of having to get up an hour before I have to be somewhere to get ready. I'm tired of fattening foods, healthy foods, middle eastern food and sushi. I'm tired of people bragging. I'm tired of that bitch in my ASL class who is always fucking talking when we're trying to learn stuff. I'm tired of having to carry groceries up two flights of stairs. I'm tired of my rent going up. I'm tired of our hamster smelling like a diaper. I'm tired of shit leaking in the fridge causing a disgusting mess on the bottom shelf. I'm tired of being expected to work every holiday. I'm tired of not being able to go where I want to go when I want to go. I'm tired of traffic on the interstate, side roads, and sidewalks. I'm tired of this city. I'm tired of my fish losing their eyeballs. I'm tired of hearing crazy conspiracies from my co-worker. I'm tired of forgetting to bring my eco-friendly bags to the grocery store. I'm tired of being eco-friendly. I'm tired of feeling guilty when I see the faucet dripping in the shower. I'm tired of my flashlights never having batteries. I'm tired of needing an umbrella and never remembering to buy one. I'm tired of having an excessive amount of travel size hand santizers, chapstick, lip gloss and perfume and never remembering to put it in my purse. I'm tired of Wamu being Chase. I'm tired of the recession. I'm tired of never writing anything here. I'm tired of all of us being scattered all over the internet now and no one talking. I'm tired of complaining now.
I'm done.
Here is the deal: I cut half of my damn finger off last week trying to swat a fly off of my laptop. I wish I could explain in detail, because I'm sure it makes no sense, but I can't. All I know is that my laptop holds the power to mangle flesh. Scary? Quite. I suppose this is payback for the Sangria night when I flipped it 5 feet onto the living room floor because I was, and I quote, "fucking tired."
Well, you know. I AM fucking tired. I'm fucking tired of people, I'm tired of school, I'm tired of work. I'm tired of being tired and having no time to sleep. I'm tired of people telling me THEY'RE tired and sad and upset and stressed and whoooooooocares cause we ALL are. I'm tired of excuses. I'm tired of not having money. I'm tired of not being able to be there for my friend when she obviously needs a friend. I'm tired of insensitivity. I'm tired of the goddamn swine flu. I'm tired of my car always breaking. I'm tired of my cats getting sick and having to go to the vet. I'm tired of cleaning up puke from said sickness. I'm tired of the apartment being dirty and having to do the dishes everytime I look at the kitchen. I'm tired of watering the plants. I'm tired of having to wash my hands every 20 minutes because I'm a hypochondriac. I'm tired of having to buy 3 bags of cat food and 2 buckets of cat litter. I'm tired of CNN, Larry King, republicans, democrats, pirates, epidemics, pandemics, the president, the supreme court, and that journalist accused of being a spy. I'm tired of having to get up an hour before I have to be somewhere to get ready. I'm tired of fattening foods, healthy foods, middle eastern food and sushi. I'm tired of people bragging. I'm tired of that bitch in my ASL class who is always fucking talking when we're trying to learn stuff. I'm tired of having to carry groceries up two flights of stairs. I'm tired of my rent going up. I'm tired of our hamster smelling like a diaper. I'm tired of shit leaking in the fridge causing a disgusting mess on the bottom shelf. I'm tired of being expected to work every holiday. I'm tired of not being able to go where I want to go when I want to go. I'm tired of traffic on the interstate, side roads, and sidewalks. I'm tired of this city. I'm tired of my fish losing their eyeballs. I'm tired of hearing crazy conspiracies from my co-worker. I'm tired of forgetting to bring my eco-friendly bags to the grocery store. I'm tired of being eco-friendly. I'm tired of feeling guilty when I see the faucet dripping in the shower. I'm tired of my flashlights never having batteries. I'm tired of needing an umbrella and never remembering to buy one. I'm tired of having an excessive amount of travel size hand santizers, chapstick, lip gloss and perfume and never remembering to put it in my purse. I'm tired of Wamu being Chase. I'm tired of the recession. I'm tired of never writing anything here. I'm tired of all of us being scattered all over the internet now and no one talking. I'm tired of complaining now.
I'm done.