I should be writing something totally different, like a WIP, or a Birthday fic, or even some of my ficathon stuff - so I ended up writing this, instead :-P Three fandoms in the one fic - I broke my own crossover rule: only two fandoms per fic!
Title:A Tale of Three Diamonds
Author:
jinxed_woodFandoms: Doctor Who, Highlander, Leverage
Characters: Amanda, Christina, Parker
Wordcount1,500
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of them are mine. Boo hoo!
THE TALE OF THREE DIAMONDS
The Tiffany Yellow Diamond has a cushion shape cut, with 90 facets and 128.54 carats. Cut by George Frederick Kunz. It was on loan from Tiffany's to the Smithsonian until 2007, but is now back with its original owners
The old street bench gave Amanda an almost the perfect view of her target across the street as she waited. Her legs were crossed, her skirt riding almost indecently high, as she held up a battered old copy of her book - as much as to give the curious onlookers a good look at the title as to hide her face. She heard footsteps slow, and darted her eyes sideways. He was wearing Armani from head to toe - no accounting for taste sometimes - but was rather attractive, in a clean cut sort of way. She watched, with wry amusement, as his lips formed the title.
Lady Chatterly's Lover.
Amanda gave him a lascivious glance over the top of her sunglasses, and his cheeks went pink as he quickened his step.
“So, what are we looking at?”
Amanda suppressed a sigh, as she lowered her book. Parker was sitting, cross legged, on the bench beside her, and she had what looked like a egg mayonnaise sandwich unwrapped on her lap. Her opened cup of steaming black coffee was perched on the bench between them.
“The least you could have done was bring me a cup, too,” Amanda said. Wordlessly, Parker handed her a paper bag, and Amanda reached inside and pulled out the Styrofoam container.
“Black, no sugar,” Parker said, as Amanda popped the lid.
“How kind,” Amanda said, pressing her lips together in an effort not to laugh. “You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here, Parker.”
“Oh, you know, the usual - what’ya reading?” Her hand shot out and she twisted the cover of the book. “Oh, porn...is it any good?”
“The Tiffany Yellow Diamond is not yours, Parker,” Amanda warned, leaning back on the bench.
“So I've heard; I thought I’d come down and watch anyway - always good to keep an eye on the competition, especially when they’re good.”
Amanda preened. “It’s nice to know one’s work is appreciated-” Alarms screamed across the street, and Amanda spilled her coffee over the rim of her cup.
“Right on time,” Parker said, admiration showing in her voice.
“Christina,” Amanda said flatly.
“Matter of elimination,” Parker said, as she took a bite out of her sandwich. “How’s your coffee?”
Amanda’s eyes narrowed. “Bitter,” she said, succinctly, as she got to her feet. “And, like revenge, best served cold.”
~~~*~*~*~~~
The Koh-i-Noor is a 105 carat diamond that was once the largest known diamond in the world. The Koh-i-Noor originated at Golconda in the state of Andhra Pradesh in India, and it became a part of the crown jewels under Victoria’s reign. It is rumoured to be over 5, 000 years old and there is a legend that whoever owns the Koh-i-Noor rules the world.
There is also the legend about a werewolf, but we don’t talk about that.
He was sulking.
Mister I am the Lord of Time and Space was sulking in her parlour; drinking her earl grey tea and leaving crumbs all over her Persian rugs. Christina had come to the conclusion that having a depressed Time Lord as a house guest was not her best move, no matter how cute he was.
But how to get rid of him?
“I’m off out,” she said pointedly, as she hauled her rucksack onto one shoulder.
“Oh, right, have fun, don’t-do-anything-I-wouldn’t-do,” he said half heartedly.
Christina smirked. “Riiiight,” she said, “That would be a pretty short list.” He didn’t rise to the bait, however, and Christina’s smile slipped a little. This was becoming worrying. “Well, don’t wait up,” she said briskly. “I might be a little late.”
He didn't answer.
Something had to be done.
She pulled herself through the window in the attic of her townhouse. Parked in front of her, on the flat space between the two slants of her roof, was her beloved bus; one of her true prizes. “Off, off, and away,” she said to herself, as she jumped into the driver’s seat. Drastic action needed to be taken, which meant she needed to get him good and angry…
“Well, what are the Crown Jewels for, if not to cause civil unrest and consternation?” she thought, as she took off.
~~~*~*~*~~~
She knew, from the moment she touched down on the tower’s roof, that her night wasn’t going to go as planned. “Amanda,” she said, kicking herself as she saw the thief standing in front of the bus. So this was her revenge for the Tiffany diamond.
“Christina, darling, interesting form of transportation.” Amanda’s eyes gleamed as she gave the bus a proprietary look.
“Don’t even think about it,” Christina said.
A third voice filled the night air. "I don't know why I even bother turning up, anymore.”
Christina felt irritation bubble up inside her. “Parker, I heard a rumour you were working for the other side of the street, nowadays.”
“Well, you know how it is, sometimes things just gets dull,” she said, with a shrug of her shoulders.
Amanda smiled. “Well, so nice catching up with the both of you, but I’m afraid I have to dash.”
“How long do we have?” Christina asked flatly. Amanda opened her hand and bounced a sparkling beauty on her palm, before pocketing it.
“Oh, the Koh-i-Noor,” Parker said, her eyes lighting up like Christmas.
"Sorry, honey, this one’s mine. I have a birthday coming up."
Christina crossed her arms. "And who, exactly, do you give a 5,000 year old cut diamond to on their birthday?"
Amanda's smiled widened. "Let’s just say I know someone who has a unique perspective on its history,” she said.
Parker pulled a face, "Is this going to go on much longer? My meters running and…” she paused. “Nope, sorry, fresh out of politeness; you two are boring me, and the security breaker circuit is going to kick in again in 43...no...41 seconds." And, with that, she did a back flip, and dove over the parapet.
Christina and Amanda eyed each other.
"She had a winch attached to the outer wall?" Christina offered.
"We’d have heard the whir." Amanda said. “Clamps, perhaps?”
Christina smirked "Care to make a wager on it?"
"Not on your overly privileged life," Amanda drawled. A shrill alarm rang out, and they looked at each other.
“Any chance of a lift?” Amanda asked.
“Not even a slight one,” Christina snorted, “I saw the way you looked at her.”
“So much for public transport,” Amanda said dryly. “Oh well, Ta ta!” And with a wink and a smile, she followed Parker over the edge. Show off.
“Look, she’s over there!”
Christina scowled as she ran back onto the bus, her hand banging the starter button. She was half way home before she realised she could still work this to her advantage. She didn’t need to steal the Crown Jewels, she just needed him to think she had.
A smile crept across her face, even as she began planning her next move.
~~~*~*~*~~~
The Dresden Green Diamond is a 41 carats natural green diamond, dated to 1722
It was a mere 41 carats, with no impressive pedigree and an uninspired teardrop cut; it wasn’t the sort of prize Parker usually hankered after, but it glowed a vivid green under the expertly set lights, and Parker was mesmerised by it. A delighted smile crossed her face as she neutralised the pressure pads with her own concoction of crazy glue and quick cement, and she lifted the diamond from its snug, velvet stand.
“Parker, it’s been such a long time. I love the police uniform, by the way, very cloak and dagger.”
The voice came from behind her, and Parker closed her eyes and counted to ten like Sophie had taught her. It didn’t work very well; probably because she had rushed past six, and ran headlong into the other numbers. Patience had never been her strong point. “It’s mine,” she said bluntly.
“Parker, Parker, no need to get defensive, we all know how to share,” Christina said.
“It’s still mine,” Parker said firmly. “Go away.” She always found it was better to stick to the basics in situations like this. That way, there was no room for misunderstandings. A clinking noise from above caught her attention, and she looked up. Amanda was dangling from a harness two meters above her head, wiggling her fingers in greeting.
"I hope you don't mind me dropping in," she said.
Parker's eyes narrowed. Enough was enough. New York was understandable, London mildly annoying, but this.. .
Her ear mic squealed. “Parker, you’ve got company.”
“Yeah, I already know that, Hardison,” she huffed.
“No, Parker, the other kind of company.”
“Who’s Hardison?” Amanda asked.
“Oh, haven’t you heard, Parker is one of Ford’s crew,” Christina piped up
“Nate Ford? The insurance investigator?” Amanda asked, surprised. “Damn, I thought he was as straight as they -”
“Parker, time to leave.”
With a sly smile, Parker made a dash into the next room. “Lock it down!” she said, into her mic.
“You’re the boss,” Hardison said, laughing. The security doors slammed down and the alarms sprang to life.
“Parker!” Amanda and Christina said, in unison, glaring at her through the bars.
“I’d say sorry, but-” She shrugged. “Nothing personal, just business; see you in five to ten.”
“Parker, that’s cold,” Hardison drawled, as she strolled out of the building, past the uniforms.
“Well, that’s revenge for you,” she said gleefully. “I have it on the best authority.”
~~~FINIS~~~
Notes: For those who wondered, all three of these diamonds are real, and pictured above. The
Tiffany Yellow Diamond has only ever been worn by two women; one of them was Audrey Hepburn, in 'Breakfast in Tiffany's'. The
Koh-i-Noor is really part of of the British crown jewels, and may ring a bell for those of you up on their Doctor Who lore - and the
Dresden Green Diamond really is that shade of green!