DOCTOR WHO FIC: A Vampyre More Accursed [Eight, Romana II | 1/2 | PG13]

[jinxed_wood]

Title: A Vampyre More Accursed.
Author: jinxed_wood
Characters: The Eighth Doctor, Romana II, Historical Characters
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Shada (The Big Finish Version)
Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the Beeb, all I have is my Microsoft Word…
Notes: Thanks to idontlikegravy for her help with my now very gothic title!
Summary: On their way back from Cambridge, Earth

Comments

[persiflage_1]

Oooh interesting stuff!! I like this, quite a bit!

Um. I found some typos - quite a few in fact.

A dark and story night in a house beside a lake? Surely it rings a bell?”

Interesting typo - but I think you meant "stormy" not "story"?! o_O

I would have thought you have had your fill of horror and woe from your real life,”

You omitted the opening speechmarks.

as she eyed a fork of lightening in the distance

"lightning" not "lightening"

Percy is almost a death’s door!”

"at death's"

A head popped out a doorway, followed by it's body.

"out of a" and "its" not "it's"

"More dangerous than that the pox?"

You don't need the "that" there

Romana turned to see a woman stand at the Door

No need for that capital D and "standing" not "stand".

It does?" asked Romana and the Doctor, as one.

You omitted the opening speechmarks.

“In, fact, I believe it would explain a lot.”

You don't need the comma after "In"

“Yes, he was probably pulled into the creatures thrall that night,”

"creature's"

“Claire is nineteen, less than a year my younger,” Mary said.

"younger" jars - "junior" would be better

The chamber bedroom’s window lit up with another spark of lightening, and the it’s catch suddenly gave under a gust of wind

"lightning", and you don't need that "the", and "its" not "it's"

The window panes swung inwards with a crash as the lightening thundered.

"lightning" again - and lightning doesn't thunder, it only flashes!

Another crack of lightening lit up the lake

And again with the "lightning"!

in which vampires weree thought to able to fly?”

"were" not "weree"

[jinxed_wood]

Thank you! A few of these I caught already, but the multiple lightning mispelling I didn't see! (I'm keeping my 'younger', though, as well as my thunder - the flash happened in sentence before!)

[persiflage_1]

Fair enough!!