My life for a Coach purse....
I saw on Grey's anatomy that suicide rates don't rise during the holidays, but depression rates do. Crazy familys or something. I dunno. All I know is that I love the holidays, but this year is horrible. It started out ok, but Matt is so sick. He has to probably go on IVs that are stronger than before, one that they don't usually do IV or one that could damage his hearing. Or if the doctors don't do that, more of the same, which did not help him. He is sicker than he has been in years, and it's scary. On top of that, I am scared about how much we spent on Christmas, and part of me wants to take the presents all back. Now we have a severely reduced inflow of money, and we have tripled our minimum payment due on our credit card, in a month.... I can't help but feel alone right now. I can't tell my mom how bad things are. I will just get yelled at, and it isn't worth worrying her. My friends just don't understand. I went to two Christmas parties last week. One with people I hadn't seen since high school, it was fun but weird. We played musical chairs. There were all these couples there that had been together since high school. but only one of them was married. And even they were all happy. Then I went to a party with some of my bestest girlfriends. They all talked about going to the outlet mall to buy Coach purses and shoes and stuff at J Crew. Then they talked about going to pottery barn and Crate and Barrell after Christmas sales. That is when I realized that I was girl from wrong side of tracks. I don't shop at those places. i cannot afford to shop at those places. I despise people who shop at those places. I will not pay more than $20 for a purse, and last time I checked, $40 for a pair of shoes I wear maybe twice a year is not a good deal. I have nothing in common with these people anymore. These girls are all single, make as much, or less than I/we do, a couple are still in school, but they all can buy coach purses, and new cars, and multiple pairs of $40 heels. Why can't I do that? I would never have enough money for that. granted I waste money on other things, but none of them know what it is like to be married to someone really sick, and desperately wanting a job that isn't demeaning. A life that isn't demeaning. Worst part is even when they move away from home and cut the apron strings, I doubt they will suffer. I bet they will still have coach purses in every color.