Letting Love In (1/3)
Part Two: It takes Chanyeol two weeks to get over Baekhyun.
Part Three: Baekhyun likes the mundane.
“Oh! Is that Kris Wu? The transfer student?” Baekhyun’s eyes are gleaming like a child’s on Christmas morning, “He’s so tall.”
“Keep it in your pants, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol scoffs, scarfing down fries because his growing body demands it.
Kyungsoo sighs in resignation as his food rapidly disappears into the cavern of Chanyeol’s mouth, “Yeah, you haven’t seen him before, Baek?”
“No,” Baekhyun blinks. “How did I miss that?”
That being their extremely handsome, tall and stylish new transfer student from Canada. Baekhyun can’t believe he had gone this long without somehow running into Kris, the guy is a giant. He would stand out even in rags; except Kris Wu doesn’t do rags, he is dressed from head to toe in dark washed jeans, crisp white button-up and perfectly coiffed hair.
☃
“Oh. My. God. He is Adonis,” Baekhyun whispers, poking Kris in the ribs. “Would you look at that?”
Kris gapes, “That’s what you said about me!”
“Well, that was before, now you’re just Kris.”
“How’re you dating him?” Kris scowls, turning to Chanyeol.
Chanyeol shrugs, more interested in slurping up udon noodles instead than whatever caught Baekhyun’s new fancy.
☃
Adonis asks Kyungsoo out two months later, much to no one’s (except for maybe Kyungsoo’s) surprise. Baekhyun is not too broken hearted because by now, “He’s just Jongin, cute kid.”
“I’m sure he would’ve asked you out,” Chanyeol says, pulling Baekhyun closer against him, “If you had been single.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, who could resist all this?” To make his point, Chanyeol’s hand slowly trails down his boyfriend’s body. Baekhyun arches up into his friend’s hand, eyes closed and lips tilting up into a slow smile.
☃
Later when they’re wrapped up together in Chanyeol’s bed, sated and content to just lay together in the dark, Baekhyun murmurs, “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Lying. Anyone with eyes can see that Jongin’s so in love with Kyungsoo, it’s disgusting.”
Chanyeol chuckles.
☃
They’ve known each other since forever; Chanyeol doesn’t even remember how long. Baekhyun had always been his life’s constant, full of easy smiles and witty remarks about Chanyeol’s various awkward growth spurts.
“Do you pick up alien’s receptions with those ears?”
“Hiya there bean sprout! Or is it bean pole?”
“Hey Yoda, we are sitting over here.”
☃
Chanyeol had been there for all of Baekhyun’s shaky home life: from his parents’ fights to the messy divorce. And he knows Baekhyun inside and out; has memorized every plane and curve, every nuisances and quirky tendencies. He understands why Baekhyun insists on keeping his own apartment even though the smaller male takes up more than half of Chanyeol’s closet with his various things. It’s the same reason his boyfriend will never admit they’re boyfriends.
☃
Sometimes when Chanyeol wakes up first, he’d look at Baekhyun. It amazes him how far they’ve come, from chubby children to stuttering, nervous freshmen to confident high school seniors. They are no longer those grubby hands children, no longer unsurely testing the barriers - Chanyeol knows where they stand. Sometimes the doubts creep up, despite him knowing better. But then Baekhyun smiles at him, eyes still heavy with sleep, and those seeds of doubt withers away before they can take roots.
“Good morning,” Baekhyun whispers into the crook of Chanyeol’s neck. “Do we have to go to school?”
“We could always sleep in.”
“Your mom would kill me, say I’m a bad influence.”
Chanyeol scoffs, “She loves you.”
“I know,” Baekhyun sighs, fingers drawing circles on Chanyeol’s stomach, “It’s because you deflowered me, she feels responsible.”
“She wasn’t supposed to know!”
“Please, Chanyeol, this is a small house.”
☃
It would be so easy, Chanyeol thinks, to be together forever. It’s pretty much second nature for him to be with Baekhyun. On most days, he can see their future, can see their lives so clearly. But Baekhyun would lapse back into his darker days, bangs falling to cover his eyes. On those days, Baekhyun would insist on staying at his apartment, he would not let Chanyeol in no matter how many times the taller male threaten him. And Chanyeol doesn’t know what Baekhyun does behind the door of his apartment.
On those days, Chanyeol doesn’t know where they stand.
☃
Baekhyun might not be jealous of Kyungsoo and Jongin but Chanyeol is; it’s the way they look at each other, the unmistakable feeling of mutual commitment in those unspoken gazes. Chanyeol can’t say Baekhyun is his, because they have never made it official. Jongin and Kyungsoo have only known each other for half a year; but they know. They are so sure. Chanyeol wants to be sure. He needs that security now that they would not see each other every day. It's selfish. He knows it's selfish. Baekhyun doesn't want the commitment because he is scared; but Chanyeol doesn't know how to wait.
☃
“You have to talk to him,” Kyungsoo says. “We are graduating next month and you guys are going to different universities. You have to know.”
“I can’t bring it up, Kyungsoo. I don’t know how.”
“It’s Baekhyun, you guys can talk about anything. Don’t worry.”
☃
So Chanyeol decides the hell with it.
“Baek, we have to talk about us. What am I to you?”
Baekhyun looks up from his phone, blinking as his eyes adjust back to the darkness of the room, “Hm? You’re Chanyeol.”
“To you, Baek. What am I to you.”
“My best friend.”
“Baek, I love you.”
☃
At least he said it, Chanyeol thinks as he watches Baekhyun packs the last of his boxes into his rental.
“Have a good life, Chanyeol.”
“You too, Baekhyun.”