Before You Go (1/1)
Tittle: Before you Go
Author: jinkitama
Rating: R (cursing and slight sexual situation)
Pairing: Woogyu
Summary: "There is no solution. This is just how life is for us. But I don’t want this; I don’t want to be stuck in a runt. We had dreams, Sunggyu, remember those? We had goals. We were running towards something, together. But now we are just…stagnant, we are just surviving. This is not living. This is not worth everything we sacrificed. We are proving the world right. We are losing. Do you get it?" - Sunggyu had no choice but to watch him walk away...right?
I am thinking of writing a sequel to this. Let me know what you think ;)
“FUCK YOU!”
The words, accompanied by the sound of a metal door slamming against the frame, echoed throughout the small apartment. All four walls pulsated for a second before cold silence overtook the space. Sunggyu stared blankly at the green door with its peeled off paint and crooked knob. Several minutes passed before his mind registered what happened and tears clouded his vision. They had fought before but never like this.
The refrigerator hummed somewhere in the background, harmonizing with the AC unit (which was spouting out hot air instead of cold). Everything, now that he had time to really notice them, was broken. One day they will buy a new fridge because their current one smelled like something crawled in there and died, and one day they will get that AC fixed. One day Sunggyu will buy wallpaper to replace the ones with mold on them. One day…someday…that had been Woohyun’s problem: he wanted that day to be today.
It had all started out so great. It didn’t matter that they were both poor college students, didn’t matter that they were chasing unrealistic dreams to be singers, didn’t matter that no one - not even their families - supported their choices in careers or love interests. They had each other, they had told themselves.
One day turned into one month, one month turned into a year. Nothing was fixed; nothing was better. They still had each other and that was now the problem. They only had each other. Once they fought the world together - now, they fought between themselves. Memories of their laughter, of their promises sounded bitter to Sunggyu’s ears now. Still, anything was better than the silence that lingered around him like an uncomfortable cloak.
There were too many should have’s and would have’s running through his mind. Too many things he wished he had said different, or not at all. Woohyun was tired, he had seen the purple smudges under Woohyun’s glassy eyes. But he was tired, too, so he pushed and pushed - and pushed until Woohyun got up and stormed out.
Sunggyu felt cold even in the suffocating heat of their apartment. He felt cold and alone, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
-
He woke up to the sound of zippers. Sunggyu blinked and focused his eyes. He saw Woohyun - or a blurry shape that looked like Woohyun - on the floor, stuffing clothes into an overnight bag. Abruptly, he sat up, and stared at his boyfriend of five years.
“Where are you going?” His voice was hoarse.
“Away,” Woohyun replied curtly.
“Away where? You don’t even have anywhere else to stay.”
“I’ll figure it out.”
Sunggyu narrowed his eyes, “And if you don’t? Jesus, Woohyun, is there a brain in your head or is it just full of shit?”
“What do you care?” Woohyun spat back.
“Because I don’t want to carry your sorry ass back here if you hurt yourself or something.”
“No one asks you to.”
“This is stupid,” Sunggyu rubbed his face with the palms of his hands, “Why are we even fighting over this?”
Woohyun shrugged, “You tell me since you seem to think you know everything.”
“You’re not going anywhere, stop making a mess on the floor.”
The words were carelessly said, but Sunggyu felt his body tensed in anticipation as Woohyun got up and swung the bag over his shoulder. Time stopped in their small apartment. He felt his heart lulled to a stop then sprang forward away, beating wildly against his ribcage. He couldn’t grasp solid ground. It felt like everything was slipping through his fingers.
“Before you go,” Sunggyu spoke up when Woohyun’s hand was on the doorknob, “Just know that…I love you.”
His boyfriend stopped, turned around, “Fuck, Sunggyu. Don’t say that at a time like this.”
“Just thought you should know, I really don’t want to regret not saying it. Who knows if you’ll be alive the next time I see you.”
He only half meant it. Sunggyu knew Woohyun was the resilience type. Put Woohyun on an island and he’d come back a winner, beaming that stupid smile and charming all the natives into giving him their most priced possessions.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Woohyun pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, the bag dropped from his shoulder onto the floor. “I hate you for always saying the right thing at the worst time.”
Sunggyu took it as his cue to get up from the floor. He approached the younger boy slowly, arms out as a cautionary gesture. When he was closed enough, and when there was so sign of resistance from Woohyun, he embraced the other in his arms. Woohyun’s sniffles turned into sobs. It was heart-breaking to know he couldn’t do anything to soothe emotionally; he could only wait out the storm of feelings that was pounding at Woohyun’s already battered interior.
“I just,” Woohyun pulled back after some time, eyes focused on something in the distance, “I am just sick of this.”
“I know. Things could be better. We could have a working air conditioner for starters...”
“No. It’s not this place - well, maybe it is. I just hate whatever this place - this situation is doing to us,” Woohyun took in a shuddering breath. “I hate that we can’t seem to stop fighting all the time. And it’s always stupid stuff. We didn’t use to care about who left the sock on the floor, or who hogged the blanket, or who used up the hot water…it just, it didn’t matter before.
“Now everything is a big deal. It’s not just you and it’s not just me. It’s both of us. Neither of us is right or wrong. There is no solution. This is just how life is for us. But I don’t want this; I don’t want to be stuck in a runt. We had dreams, Sunggyu, remember those? We had goals. We were running towards something, together. But now we are just…stagnant, we are just surviving. This is not living. This is not worth everything we sacrificed. We are proving the world right. We are losing. Do you get it?”
Sunggyu raked a hand through his hair, “And you think it’ll be better if you leave?”
“No,” Woohyun picked up his previously abandoned bag, “I know it will be better. We need time, both of us.”
“What if I don’t need time?”
“This isn’t just about you. I need time.”
Sunggyu shook his head, “We still have our dreams, Woohyun, they aren’t lost. The only way we lose is if you walk out that door. We didn’t fight just for our dreams, we fought for us. So let’s save us.”
“Gyu,” Woohyun’s eyes softened, “Please. Stop making this hard. Let me leave.”
“No.”
“Sunggyu, let me - ”
Sunggyu didn’t let him finish - couldn’t let him finish. Woohyun had threatened to leave before, but Sunggyu had never seen such a resolute look on the other boy’s face. He knew that it was over if Woohyun walked out that door. This was the defining moment. Now or never. Without warning, he pinned his boyfriend against the door by the shoulder.
“You’re not leaving,” Sunggyu said harshly, eyes gleamed with anger.
“YOU - ”
Once again, Woohyun didn’t get to finish his sentence. His words withered under the heat of Sunggyu’s mouth. Their teeth knocked together in the rush of the moment but neither cared. For that moment, they could forget the pile of unpaid bills on the coffee table, the amount of work they had to get done for classes, the careless words spoken in the heat of the moment. It was when they were together like this, lips attached and bodies molded to each other that they were reminded nothing else mattered - not like this.
Sunggyu’s hand traveled up Woohyun’s shirt, searching, probing. He rolled his hips and his mouth returned to Woohyun’s mouth to swallow the moans. Sweat beaded his forehead; he tasted the salty sweat on Woohyun’s skin. They moved together, hardened erection rubbed against each other, against the friction of their clothes. Murmurs turned to raspy breathing as Woohyun’s hand snaked downward, an elegant finger traced the length of Sunggyu’s cock.
“Sex is a good incentive to stay,” Woohyun managed with a smirk. “Point well made.”
“I thought so.”
And to make his point clearer, Sunggyu gave Woohyun one last smacking kiss on the lips before went down on his knees, pulling Woohyun’s jeans and boxers along with him. He looked up to give Woohyun one last grin before going about finishing his point.
//END
Author: jinkitama
Rating: R (cursing and slight sexual situation)
Pairing: Woogyu
Summary: "There is no solution. This is just how life is for us. But I don’t want this; I don’t want to be stuck in a runt. We had dreams, Sunggyu, remember those? We had goals. We were running towards something, together. But now we are just…stagnant, we are just surviving. This is not living. This is not worth everything we sacrificed. We are proving the world right. We are losing. Do you get it?" - Sunggyu had no choice but to watch him walk away...right?
I am thinking of writing a sequel to this. Let me know what you think ;)
“FUCK YOU!”
The words, accompanied by the sound of a metal door slamming against the frame, echoed throughout the small apartment. All four walls pulsated for a second before cold silence overtook the space. Sunggyu stared blankly at the green door with its peeled off paint and crooked knob. Several minutes passed before his mind registered what happened and tears clouded his vision. They had fought before but never like this.
The refrigerator hummed somewhere in the background, harmonizing with the AC unit (which was spouting out hot air instead of cold). Everything, now that he had time to really notice them, was broken. One day they will buy a new fridge because their current one smelled like something crawled in there and died, and one day they will get that AC fixed. One day Sunggyu will buy wallpaper to replace the ones with mold on them. One day…someday…that had been Woohyun’s problem: he wanted that day to be today.
It had all started out so great. It didn’t matter that they were both poor college students, didn’t matter that they were chasing unrealistic dreams to be singers, didn’t matter that no one - not even their families - supported their choices in careers or love interests. They had each other, they had told themselves.
One day turned into one month, one month turned into a year. Nothing was fixed; nothing was better. They still had each other and that was now the problem. They only had each other. Once they fought the world together - now, they fought between themselves. Memories of their laughter, of their promises sounded bitter to Sunggyu’s ears now. Still, anything was better than the silence that lingered around him like an uncomfortable cloak.
There were too many should have’s and would have’s running through his mind. Too many things he wished he had said different, or not at all. Woohyun was tired, he had seen the purple smudges under Woohyun’s glassy eyes. But he was tired, too, so he pushed and pushed - and pushed until Woohyun got up and stormed out.
Sunggyu felt cold even in the suffocating heat of their apartment. He felt cold and alone, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
-
He woke up to the sound of zippers. Sunggyu blinked and focused his eyes. He saw Woohyun - or a blurry shape that looked like Woohyun - on the floor, stuffing clothes into an overnight bag. Abruptly, he sat up, and stared at his boyfriend of five years.
“Where are you going?” His voice was hoarse.
“Away,” Woohyun replied curtly.
“Away where? You don’t even have anywhere else to stay.”
“I’ll figure it out.”
Sunggyu narrowed his eyes, “And if you don’t? Jesus, Woohyun, is there a brain in your head or is it just full of shit?”
“What do you care?” Woohyun spat back.
“Because I don’t want to carry your sorry ass back here if you hurt yourself or something.”
“No one asks you to.”
“This is stupid,” Sunggyu rubbed his face with the palms of his hands, “Why are we even fighting over this?”
Woohyun shrugged, “You tell me since you seem to think you know everything.”
“You’re not going anywhere, stop making a mess on the floor.”
The words were carelessly said, but Sunggyu felt his body tensed in anticipation as Woohyun got up and swung the bag over his shoulder. Time stopped in their small apartment. He felt his heart lulled to a stop then sprang forward away, beating wildly against his ribcage. He couldn’t grasp solid ground. It felt like everything was slipping through his fingers.
“Before you go,” Sunggyu spoke up when Woohyun’s hand was on the doorknob, “Just know that…I love you.”
His boyfriend stopped, turned around, “Fuck, Sunggyu. Don’t say that at a time like this.”
“Just thought you should know, I really don’t want to regret not saying it. Who knows if you’ll be alive the next time I see you.”
He only half meant it. Sunggyu knew Woohyun was the resilience type. Put Woohyun on an island and he’d come back a winner, beaming that stupid smile and charming all the natives into giving him their most priced possessions.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Woohyun pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, the bag dropped from his shoulder onto the floor. “I hate you for always saying the right thing at the worst time.”
Sunggyu took it as his cue to get up from the floor. He approached the younger boy slowly, arms out as a cautionary gesture. When he was closed enough, and when there was so sign of resistance from Woohyun, he embraced the other in his arms. Woohyun’s sniffles turned into sobs. It was heart-breaking to know he couldn’t do anything to soothe emotionally; he could only wait out the storm of feelings that was pounding at Woohyun’s already battered interior.
“I just,” Woohyun pulled back after some time, eyes focused on something in the distance, “I am just sick of this.”
“I know. Things could be better. We could have a working air conditioner for starters...”
“No. It’s not this place - well, maybe it is. I just hate whatever this place - this situation is doing to us,” Woohyun took in a shuddering breath. “I hate that we can’t seem to stop fighting all the time. And it’s always stupid stuff. We didn’t use to care about who left the sock on the floor, or who hogged the blanket, or who used up the hot water…it just, it didn’t matter before.
“Now everything is a big deal. It’s not just you and it’s not just me. It’s both of us. Neither of us is right or wrong. There is no solution. This is just how life is for us. But I don’t want this; I don’t want to be stuck in a runt. We had dreams, Sunggyu, remember those? We had goals. We were running towards something, together. But now we are just…stagnant, we are just surviving. This is not living. This is not worth everything we sacrificed. We are proving the world right. We are losing. Do you get it?”
Sunggyu raked a hand through his hair, “And you think it’ll be better if you leave?”
“No,” Woohyun picked up his previously abandoned bag, “I know it will be better. We need time, both of us.”
“What if I don’t need time?”
“This isn’t just about you. I need time.”
Sunggyu shook his head, “We still have our dreams, Woohyun, they aren’t lost. The only way we lose is if you walk out that door. We didn’t fight just for our dreams, we fought for us. So let’s save us.”
“Gyu,” Woohyun’s eyes softened, “Please. Stop making this hard. Let me leave.”
“No.”
“Sunggyu, let me - ”
Sunggyu didn’t let him finish - couldn’t let him finish. Woohyun had threatened to leave before, but Sunggyu had never seen such a resolute look on the other boy’s face. He knew that it was over if Woohyun walked out that door. This was the defining moment. Now or never. Without warning, he pinned his boyfriend against the door by the shoulder.
“You’re not leaving,” Sunggyu said harshly, eyes gleamed with anger.
“YOU - ”
Once again, Woohyun didn’t get to finish his sentence. His words withered under the heat of Sunggyu’s mouth. Their teeth knocked together in the rush of the moment but neither cared. For that moment, they could forget the pile of unpaid bills on the coffee table, the amount of work they had to get done for classes, the careless words spoken in the heat of the moment. It was when they were together like this, lips attached and bodies molded to each other that they were reminded nothing else mattered - not like this.
Sunggyu’s hand traveled up Woohyun’s shirt, searching, probing. He rolled his hips and his mouth returned to Woohyun’s mouth to swallow the moans. Sweat beaded his forehead; he tasted the salty sweat on Woohyun’s skin. They moved together, hardened erection rubbed against each other, against the friction of their clothes. Murmurs turned to raspy breathing as Woohyun’s hand snaked downward, an elegant finger traced the length of Sunggyu’s cock.
“Sex is a good incentive to stay,” Woohyun managed with a smirk. “Point well made.”
“I thought so.”
And to make his point clearer, Sunggyu gave Woohyun one last smacking kiss on the lips before went down on his knees, pulling Woohyun’s jeans and boxers along with him. He looked up to give Woohyun one last grin before going about finishing his point.
//END