(no subject)
So I'm looking for a parking spot, ANY fucking parking spot, near the intersection of Neil and Patterson. That's one thing I HATE about this one spot on north campus. If I go one block in any direction, I can find a parking spot. But this intersection is almost always 100% full. To make things more interesting, tomorrow is the 2nd Thursday of the month... street sweeping. They will tow any car that is parked on Neil Ave tomorrow early morning. Yet, every spot is filled with people who have no idea they are not going to find their car there tomorrow, and be about $110 poorer because of it.. One car even still has the impound writing on it's side window from last month. That ought to be interesting. So my point is, if they all didn’t park there, where in the hell would they park?
I digress. So I am looking for a parking spot, ANY fucking parking spot. Meanwhile, as I circle the intersection 3 or 4 times as if a spot is going to materialize, I see this younger kid with a lot of hair on his head bolt across Neil Ave. toward Patterson, then bolt back, and stand by the corner. I pay little attention to this and still am just trying to find a fucking parking spot. I saw what WOULD be one if my car was a super compact car. But, after several mintues of circling, I decide to attempt to squeeze into it.
So I am doing that back and forth thing trying to squeeze into it and notice this mop haired kid bolting again, coming back, and this time, doing a Nestea Plunge onto his back, arms spread wide, onto the grassy corner of the intersection. Again, I pay little attention since I am trying to squeeze my 12 foot long car into an 11 and a half foot long parking spot.
After several minutes of this, and the kid laying on the corner about 30 yards away, he suddenly jumps up and runs toward me. Now I’m paying a LOT of attention to him and just as he gets near my car door he angles away and continues to walk past my car but then turns back. I quickly decide my best position would be to get out of the car not knowing what he is up to.
Just as I open the door, but have not exited yet, he comes back and says “Hey.. hey… “ and starts reaching for my rear car door “Can I get a ride to my house man?”
I quickly go into cop mode and start chattering “Take it easy, what’s up?..” His behavior was odd, so I immediately say “Hey, are you tripping?”
As I am saying this he is extending his hand as if to offer a hand shake. “Yeah..”
I ask back, “On what?”
He replies..” Acid”…then as he is looking at me in the eyes he says “You’re a cop, aren’t you.”.
I laugh and think he must have seen me come home before in my uniform. “Yeah, how’d you know that?” .. he replied “Because I’m paranoid”.
At this point I am standing beside him and because he is (not on purpose) coming too close to me and moving randomly, I am starting to control him by placing my hands on either shoulder. He turns toward my car and leans on it in the arrestee position, placing both hands on the edge of my roof, feet apart. I chuckle and tell him “It’s cool dude.. we just need to get you somewhere safe.. where did you come from.. where did you get this acid..” I started to correct myself and say “not where did you get it, but where did you take it” so I could just walk him back there and have hopefully other people there to take care of him.
But before I could get that part out he says “My mom…” looking my right in the eye, acting slightly embarrassed. I chuckle again, and I hear some music playing from his pocket.
“Is that your cell phone?”.
“Yes” he replies, still in the arrestee position, not moving. I am now behind him and accidentally in the exact position I would be frisking someone, reaching into his right pocket for his cell phone with my right hand, my left hand on his left bicep to prevent a quick 'elbow to the face' if that were to suddenly happen. I pull it out and back away. I see I missed the call. I also see, though, it was from “Foosh”.
“Who’s Foosh?” I ask, trying to redial the number.
“My friend”.
“Does he live close by?” I ask, redialing the number. It starts to dial, but then loses network for a moment.
“Yeah” he says, still in the arrestee position, staring downward.
I tell him as I am dialing the number again, “Dude, if you remember this in the morning, you’re going to freak out.” He looks up with excitement in his eyes.
“Yeah!” His pupils were freaking huge.
I connect finally to “Foosh” and he answers. “Hey Foosh!” I say..
“Foosh replies back, “Yeah!”
“Hey” I say…”You don’t know me, but your buddy here who you just tried to call is tripping out pretty badly and needs someone to pick him up.”
Foosh replies “Yeah, I’m trying to find him.. where are you?”
“Neil and Patterson”
“Cool, I’m 20 seconds away”
A truck comes around the corner and slows down.. it’s Foosh. “Hey man, thanks!” he says.
Now, to make certain this guy has an interesting story, I want his sober friend to know I am a cop. I tell him “I don’t know how he knew it, but he knew I was a cop right away” and showed Foosh my badge. “I’m just trying to get him somewhere safe”.
Foosh thanks me profusely as mop haired kid is clapping and trying to open the driver’s door. Foosh says “No, the back door”. He gets in, claps again and says “Sweet ride man!”.
Foosh thanks me again, and they leave. I am so happy that tomorrow Foosh gets to tell him “Do you know you walked up to a fucking COP man?!!”
So I got back into my car and realized I couldn’t fit in that spot. I never did find a fucking parking spot.
Jingo.
I digress. So I am looking for a parking spot, ANY fucking parking spot. Meanwhile, as I circle the intersection 3 or 4 times as if a spot is going to materialize, I see this younger kid with a lot of hair on his head bolt across Neil Ave. toward Patterson, then bolt back, and stand by the corner. I pay little attention to this and still am just trying to find a fucking parking spot. I saw what WOULD be one if my car was a super compact car. But, after several mintues of circling, I decide to attempt to squeeze into it.
So I am doing that back and forth thing trying to squeeze into it and notice this mop haired kid bolting again, coming back, and this time, doing a Nestea Plunge onto his back, arms spread wide, onto the grassy corner of the intersection. Again, I pay little attention since I am trying to squeeze my 12 foot long car into an 11 and a half foot long parking spot.
After several minutes of this, and the kid laying on the corner about 30 yards away, he suddenly jumps up and runs toward me. Now I’m paying a LOT of attention to him and just as he gets near my car door he angles away and continues to walk past my car but then turns back. I quickly decide my best position would be to get out of the car not knowing what he is up to.
Just as I open the door, but have not exited yet, he comes back and says “Hey.. hey… “ and starts reaching for my rear car door “Can I get a ride to my house man?”
I quickly go into cop mode and start chattering “Take it easy, what’s up?..” His behavior was odd, so I immediately say “Hey, are you tripping?”
As I am saying this he is extending his hand as if to offer a hand shake. “Yeah..”
I ask back, “On what?”
He replies..” Acid”…then as he is looking at me in the eyes he says “You’re a cop, aren’t you.”.
I laugh and think he must have seen me come home before in my uniform. “Yeah, how’d you know that?” .. he replied “Because I’m paranoid”.
At this point I am standing beside him and because he is (not on purpose) coming too close to me and moving randomly, I am starting to control him by placing my hands on either shoulder. He turns toward my car and leans on it in the arrestee position, placing both hands on the edge of my roof, feet apart. I chuckle and tell him “It’s cool dude.. we just need to get you somewhere safe.. where did you come from.. where did you get this acid..” I started to correct myself and say “not where did you get it, but where did you take it” so I could just walk him back there and have hopefully other people there to take care of him.
But before I could get that part out he says “My mom…” looking my right in the eye, acting slightly embarrassed. I chuckle again, and I hear some music playing from his pocket.
“Is that your cell phone?”.
“Yes” he replies, still in the arrestee position, not moving. I am now behind him and accidentally in the exact position I would be frisking someone, reaching into his right pocket for his cell phone with my right hand, my left hand on his left bicep to prevent a quick 'elbow to the face' if that were to suddenly happen. I pull it out and back away. I see I missed the call. I also see, though, it was from “Foosh”.
“Who’s Foosh?” I ask, trying to redial the number.
“My friend”.
“Does he live close by?” I ask, redialing the number. It starts to dial, but then loses network for a moment.
“Yeah” he says, still in the arrestee position, staring downward.
I tell him as I am dialing the number again, “Dude, if you remember this in the morning, you’re going to freak out.” He looks up with excitement in his eyes.
“Yeah!” His pupils were freaking huge.
I connect finally to “Foosh” and he answers. “Hey Foosh!” I say..
“Foosh replies back, “Yeah!”
“Hey” I say…”You don’t know me, but your buddy here who you just tried to call is tripping out pretty badly and needs someone to pick him up.”
Foosh replies “Yeah, I’m trying to find him.. where are you?”
“Neil and Patterson”
“Cool, I’m 20 seconds away”
A truck comes around the corner and slows down.. it’s Foosh. “Hey man, thanks!” he says.
Now, to make certain this guy has an interesting story, I want his sober friend to know I am a cop. I tell him “I don’t know how he knew it, but he knew I was a cop right away” and showed Foosh my badge. “I’m just trying to get him somewhere safe”.
Foosh thanks me profusely as mop haired kid is clapping and trying to open the driver’s door. Foosh says “No, the back door”. He gets in, claps again and says “Sweet ride man!”.
Foosh thanks me again, and they leave. I am so happy that tomorrow Foosh gets to tell him “Do you know you walked up to a fucking COP man?!!”
So I got back into my car and realized I couldn’t fit in that spot. I never did find a fucking parking spot.
Jingo.