serf rock
Introduction:
I have re-emerged from the depths of the third circle of hell (1) to grace you with my livejournalistic stylings, inspired by my celebrity spotting of Mo Rocca today (2). The maturity of my writing has improved throughout this first year of my superb college education (3), and it is evident the extent to what "a beautiful young woman i have become" (4). I have outlined below, the top moments that have defined me as a person. It would be too complicated (5) and cumbersome for a "creative, friendly and responsible" (6) young mind like myself to do so completely, so I have specifically chosen to present moments that have defined me, as represented through, specifically, memorable moments experienced by my body.
1. The time the doctor sliced that large, flat, mole off the bottom of my left foot
and then showed it to me in a jar but i didn't get to keep it *<; p
2. The first time my virgin ears heard a magnet that makes noises sounds like.
Specifically, a magnetic replica of a public telephone, as found on the refridgerator of rachel handleman. (7)
3. The time in summer camp when i didn't have conditioner and washed my hair
with only shampoo and my hair became a fucking matted rat's nest
4) The first time i popped a zit on the tip of my nose in 6th grade and thought "this isn't so bad" and then the next day
God blessed me with a thousand more zits to pop. A wonderful wave of acne that has lasted me until this very day and I
thank the lord for every night. It's his way of telling me, "Hey, Leah, Hineni" (8)
5) The time in Hebrew school when we were supposed to tell the class what we imagined God to look like, and someone
said he thought God was a giant eyeball and i reminded him that he was actually wrong (9)
Footnotes:
1. The third circle of hell is a clown supervising you while you are forced to confront endless optical illusions
2. No, actually, he's just hot. I
3. I learned how to use footnotes
4. Exerpt taken from the speech read to me, as prepared by Marcie Cobelli, the day of my bat mitzvah. March 11, 2000.
5.You wouldn't understand. you might not even understand the word two words after this one.
6. Three adjectives i use to describe myself on my latest job appllication
7. The second time i saw this same magnet was at Bed Bath and Beyond
8. It's true. Fuckin' Avraham on the mountain top.
9. God is a red ghost
I have re-emerged from the depths of the third circle of hell (1) to grace you with my livejournalistic stylings, inspired by my celebrity spotting of Mo Rocca today (2). The maturity of my writing has improved throughout this first year of my superb college education (3), and it is evident the extent to what "a beautiful young woman i have become" (4). I have outlined below, the top moments that have defined me as a person. It would be too complicated (5) and cumbersome for a "creative, friendly and responsible" (6) young mind like myself to do so completely, so I have specifically chosen to present moments that have defined me, as represented through, specifically, memorable moments experienced by my body.
1. The time the doctor sliced that large, flat, mole off the bottom of my left foot
and then showed it to me in a jar but i didn't get to keep it *<; p
2. The first time my virgin ears heard a magnet that makes noises sounds like.
Specifically, a magnetic replica of a public telephone, as found on the refridgerator of rachel handleman. (7)
3. The time in summer camp when i didn't have conditioner and washed my hair
with only shampoo and my hair became a fucking matted rat's nest
4) The first time i popped a zit on the tip of my nose in 6th grade and thought "this isn't so bad" and then the next day
God blessed me with a thousand more zits to pop. A wonderful wave of acne that has lasted me until this very day and I
thank the lord for every night. It's his way of telling me, "Hey, Leah, Hineni" (8)
5) The time in Hebrew school when we were supposed to tell the class what we imagined God to look like, and someone
said he thought God was a giant eyeball and i reminded him that he was actually wrong (9)
Footnotes:
1. The third circle of hell is a clown supervising you while you are forced to confront endless optical illusions
2. No, actually, he's just hot. I
3. I learned how to use footnotes
4. Exerpt taken from the speech read to me, as prepared by Marcie Cobelli, the day of my bat mitzvah. March 11, 2000.
5.You wouldn't understand. you might not even understand the word two words after this one.
6. Three adjectives i use to describe myself on my latest job appllication
7. The second time i saw this same magnet was at Bed Bath and Beyond
8. It's true. Fuckin' Avraham on the mountain top.
9. God is a red ghost