this is what I like to call.....hole-hopping
This could be the end.
The OB final went far from what I anticipated. She needs to curve it at least eight to ten points for me to get a "passing" test average. There are fifty questions on the final, and most of the 2010 class bombed, so it's possible that five questions (two points each) could get taken off. If not, I fail that class. I could take a test that's gonna cost me somewhere around $350 and will require me to invest in a pediatrics book, and I would get a passing grade for the class if I pass that. I've heard it's a lot easier and more basic..because her questions are what really fuck with people. BUT, taking that test won't do a thing if....
....if I don't get a 90 on the MedSurg final on Wednesday. I've been studying, and the review session tonight really helped because she specifically narrowed down what we do and don't need to know both from the book and the notes. It's a lot of content, but I was surprised by how much I could recall when she was asking questions. It's just a matter of conquering that test to the point of either getting a 90, or getting a good enough score that a curve can build off of to get me that 90. If I don't get a 90, I fail the class.
If I fail both OB and MedSurg, I get kicked out of the nursing school. If I only fail MedSurg I've got one strike against me, and although I can't progress in my studies (you can't move onto anything if you don't pass MedSurg), I'll have a whole semester that's exclusive to MedSurg as my sole clinical course in the fall. If I only fail OB, I can take that test and pass so I don't have to take it again in the fall. In either situation I'll still have one strike against me and I can't fail any other classes, but in the first situation of this paragraph I'm totally and completely fucked. I'll have to apply to other nursing schools and hope they take me in, but the waiting lists are a mile long around here.
I'll have to leave NY.....and leave James. I've grown closer to him than ever before, and the bickering has turned to understanding. He loves me and doesn't hold my shortcomings against me. He's forgiving. He'd rather get along than fight, and doesn't pick fights. He turns me on and every time I look at him I feel my heart fluttering. It's been over a year and a half (since we started messing around...just over a year since going out), and I'm more enamored than ever. Aside from fucking up my education, I'll be fucking up the best relationship I've had with a person I've connected with more than any other guy before.......there's no way it could last if I was far away, or gone, or......I just.......I'm going to be studying from now until Wednesday morning when I have that final.
I can fail one class but I can't fail both. One grade is totally in the air and can go in any direction, but I won't find out til Friday. The other grade I can prepare for and reinforce and practice and study and review and hope that everything works out from there...but I won't know til Friday either, although I'll have an idea of how much I knew for sure and what I didn't.
This Friday is going to be the the best or worst day of my life. Tears of happiness or deep sorrow.
I'm doing this for me, him, and all of the friends I can't let fade away up here.
I can do this.
The OB final went far from what I anticipated. She needs to curve it at least eight to ten points for me to get a "passing" test average. There are fifty questions on the final, and most of the 2010 class bombed, so it's possible that five questions (two points each) could get taken off. If not, I fail that class. I could take a test that's gonna cost me somewhere around $350 and will require me to invest in a pediatrics book, and I would get a passing grade for the class if I pass that. I've heard it's a lot easier and more basic..because her questions are what really fuck with people. BUT, taking that test won't do a thing if....
....if I don't get a 90 on the MedSurg final on Wednesday. I've been studying, and the review session tonight really helped because she specifically narrowed down what we do and don't need to know both from the book and the notes. It's a lot of content, but I was surprised by how much I could recall when she was asking questions. It's just a matter of conquering that test to the point of either getting a 90, or getting a good enough score that a curve can build off of to get me that 90. If I don't get a 90, I fail the class.
If I fail both OB and MedSurg, I get kicked out of the nursing school. If I only fail MedSurg I've got one strike against me, and although I can't progress in my studies (you can't move onto anything if you don't pass MedSurg), I'll have a whole semester that's exclusive to MedSurg as my sole clinical course in the fall. If I only fail OB, I can take that test and pass so I don't have to take it again in the fall. In either situation I'll still have one strike against me and I can't fail any other classes, but in the first situation of this paragraph I'm totally and completely fucked. I'll have to apply to other nursing schools and hope they take me in, but the waiting lists are a mile long around here.
I'll have to leave NY.....and leave James. I've grown closer to him than ever before, and the bickering has turned to understanding. He loves me and doesn't hold my shortcomings against me. He's forgiving. He'd rather get along than fight, and doesn't pick fights. He turns me on and every time I look at him I feel my heart fluttering. It's been over a year and a half (since we started messing around...just over a year since going out), and I'm more enamored than ever. Aside from fucking up my education, I'll be fucking up the best relationship I've had with a person I've connected with more than any other guy before.......there's no way it could last if I was far away, or gone, or......I just.......I'm going to be studying from now until Wednesday morning when I have that final.
I can fail one class but I can't fail both. One grade is totally in the air and can go in any direction, but I won't find out til Friday. The other grade I can prepare for and reinforce and practice and study and review and hope that everything works out from there...but I won't know til Friday either, although I'll have an idea of how much I knew for sure and what I didn't.
This Friday is going to be the the best or worst day of my life. Tears of happiness or deep sorrow.
I'm doing this for me, him, and all of the friends I can't let fade away up here.
I can do this.