today's worry

[jinglebell]

some days, i'm almost positive i wrestle with your memories more than you do. i wrestle with your memories more than mine...

i regret that each solitary moment, thought, or effort i've spent on someone else, is a moment, thought, or effort that should've belonged to you. but i know, that given the chance to do it over again, i'd make the same mistakes and be hurt a million times over; i would refuse to repair any moment of my past if i knew that living it over would lead me to you again.

you want to know my biggest fear? that if you were given the same decision, you wouldn't choose me.

but let me live without the answer.
this is a wondering that can remain a wondering.

and when, if ever, do we leave this state of reminiscence?

"there's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
there's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
it's still a little hard to say what's going on
there's still a little bit of your ghost your witness
there's still a little piece of your face i haven't kissed
there’s still a little bit of your song in my ear
there’s still a little bit of your words i long to hear
stones taught me to fly
love taught me to lie
life taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball"

--Damien Rice, Cannonbal