Thoughts about life in the United States
Dear Gary,
You have lived alone since you were 19 years of age-- that is, for the last 14 years. I've lived alone on and off throughout my life, but seldom for many years in a row. I think you became keenly independent at a very early age, and you became accustomed to dealing with anything that came your way all by yourself-- not without anguish, but you managed somehow. Still I can see that you have sought connections with other people all along, and not just with boyfriends. You put up your website 9 years ago precisely because you needed to reach out to people. Everyone was drawn to your site, to your insightful comments about gay life, and to your candor about your personal life. On your LJ you documented so much of what you lived through, and expressing your experiences in writing gave you perspective on your life: Such is the power of words! Not bad for a shy, introverted person, eh? I know it helped that you are exceptionally bright, articulate, organized, and quite charming like good Will Hunting!
We human beings are all about connections, relationships, even though the rugged individualist is held up to us in this country as the paragon of the Protestant Ethic. We are a very lonely nation. And often our cities are filled with solitary people who gather to be lonely together, as it were. We often lead solitary lives. The image of the close-knit, extended American family seen in "The Waltons" and "Seventh Heaven" is mostly a fantasy nowadays. Much to our communal chagrin.
I think a lot of folks (especially gay ones) have found connection with you, to varying degrees of depth. You have given me that connection very deeply and indelibly. We have shared so much with each other in these past 4 years, and my life is all the richer for it. I think of you as a survivor, and that is what I want to be as well.
Maybe connections are what help us to survive. We need to have solid ground beneath us in order to flourish. I believe God has laid the foundation, and He has brought kindred spirits like you and me together so that our lives may be fuller and more meaningful. That's what close friends do. That's what family does, even in this hyperindividualistic postmodern age. We help each other to survive, and to flourish.
And I desperately want to survive Gary. For myself, and for my true family.
You have lived alone since you were 19 years of age-- that is, for the last 14 years. I've lived alone on and off throughout my life, but seldom for many years in a row. I think you became keenly independent at a very early age, and you became accustomed to dealing with anything that came your way all by yourself-- not without anguish, but you managed somehow. Still I can see that you have sought connections with other people all along, and not just with boyfriends. You put up your website 9 years ago precisely because you needed to reach out to people. Everyone was drawn to your site, to your insightful comments about gay life, and to your candor about your personal life. On your LJ you documented so much of what you lived through, and expressing your experiences in writing gave you perspective on your life: Such is the power of words! Not bad for a shy, introverted person, eh? I know it helped that you are exceptionally bright, articulate, organized, and quite charming like good Will Hunting!
We human beings are all about connections, relationships, even though the rugged individualist is held up to us in this country as the paragon of the Protestant Ethic. We are a very lonely nation. And often our cities are filled with solitary people who gather to be lonely together, as it were. We often lead solitary lives. The image of the close-knit, extended American family seen in "The Waltons" and "Seventh Heaven" is mostly a fantasy nowadays. Much to our communal chagrin.
I think a lot of folks (especially gay ones) have found connection with you, to varying degrees of depth. You have given me that connection very deeply and indelibly. We have shared so much with each other in these past 4 years, and my life is all the richer for it. I think of you as a survivor, and that is what I want to be as well.
Maybe connections are what help us to survive. We need to have solid ground beneath us in order to flourish. I believe God has laid the foundation, and He has brought kindred spirits like you and me together so that our lives may be fuller and more meaningful. That's what close friends do. That's what family does, even in this hyperindividualistic postmodern age. We help each other to survive, and to flourish.
And I desperately want to survive Gary. For myself, and for my true family.