Magical
When we were young, we wanted the world to be a more magical place. For many/most of us, it was what drew us together. It was how we found each other in new places with strangers. There wasn't a lot we could do, but we did what we could by telling stories, and we sure wished life could be more dramatic, gorgeous, and cool.
Now, that is a pressure ( Read more... )
Now, that is a pressure ( Read more... )
I still dream of life being more magical. When I game, sometimes it is just for fun or because of history, but often it is because I want to create art, something magical and beautiful and transcendent. That is why I love Polaris.
I certainly dream less now than I once did of life being more magical. I seldom converse with trees anymore. This is attributable to many things; I think I have grown somewhat less naive and idealistic and more jaded. Being immersed in the day to day working world as opposed to a tight community of like-minded dreamers has been a factor. Sometimes the dream does seem immature now, and I wonder if I should be focusing more on trying to find "magic" in the real world.
My longing for magic has long been opposed by my desire to live in a small, simple world. I like things to be neat and orderly, comprehensible. Complexity, uncertainty, and decisions upset me. That is probably the main reason I am an atheist and a rationalist; but it is a spiritually bankrupt existence. I go through phases in which I entrench myself in my small world and neglect my need for magic, and this tendency has gotten more pronounced with age, I think. But if I ever want to get anywhere or do anything or find magic or feel fulfilled, I need to fight that tendency tooth and nail.
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