First, my night was great, I went to the paw sox game and went out with my mom...so everything was grand. About tomorrow, I'll be there at 5 I suppose at your car is a good place to meet, I'm not really sure what a wee bit actually is but I imagine it's not much......so I'm guessing that means I'm only going to have enough time to just, see you. Which is fine becuase you're super busy but if you're too busy tomorrow because of homework and stuff, it's alright.
Which kind of brings me to my next thing....... I've been up all night thinking for like this entire weekend about everything and I've been thinking lots about us mainly. And I really want to talk to you about just everything but not at all tomorrow because I want us to just have fun even if it's for two seconds that I get to see you but...... I want to write to you now because I'm sort of just feeling like, I'm falling for you more and more and you have less and less time....and in august you start high school soccer and then next school year you're going to be going through just as busy of a schedule and I don't know. I feel like I'm falling for you at the wrong time. I love this relationship when I'm with you, but it sucks big time when I'm not. I'm not at all saying I don't want to be with you, I do tons......but that's the problem....I guess what I'm saying is, are you sure that I'm the right kind of guy for you right now? I mean, I have so many feelings for you, but the more I think about life here in new hampshire, the more I feel like 99% of the time I'm going to be completely alone or without you. I mean now I get to see you in school but next year I won't even get that and I just, don't want to feel this way. I don't want to worry about anything anymore like I didn't when I was first with you. I loved those dates, but we haven't had one in forever and it's going to be awhile before you have time with finals coming up and.....I can't just be the boyfriend you have time for in the summer and no other time. don't get me wrong, summer tara sounds awesomely amazing but, school tara doesn't have lots of time for me...and this is basically the biggest decision of my life so far.....and I want it to be the right one. I'm afraid if you go weeks at a time without seeing me, you would, sort of not want to be with me anymore and I would be completely alone then. I don't know what to do, and this is a problem for me because if I had all the time in the world to think I wouldn't bother you with it. I would just work this out on my own......but the second I sign the lease for an apartment, the decision is made. I have no time to think. I know you told me you want me to stay, but everytime I read that note you wrote to me, I really feel like you want me to go. I guess I just want a sign, and I'm not asking you to do anything, I just....OH TARA don't you ever just wish the right answer would slap you across the face?????? or just, come to you???? I wish it would just fall in my lap right now. and I wish I could see into your mind and see what you're thinking so I know......no holding back, just plain tara.........because I know you, and no matter how hard you try, you'll hold back just a little. and for some reason I think the right answer is somewhere in your head. I know you can't tell me what the right answer is.....I just want life to be like it was the very first time I brought you home.....and I sang with my windows rolled down the entire way back to my apartment, the rocket summer. I was so happy nothing else mattered.
You're pretty much the best tara, that's why this is so hard. because if you were anything less than what I think is the perfect girl, I would have made the decision to leave.
You're the cutest girl ever and even if I only see you for five seconds, I'll love it tomorrow Later Gator
Which kind of brings me to my next thing.......
I've been up all night thinking for like this entire weekend about everything and I've been thinking lots about us mainly. And I really want to talk to you about just everything but not at all tomorrow because I want us to just have fun even if it's for two seconds that I get to see you but...... I want to write to you now because I'm sort of just feeling like, I'm falling for you more and more and you have less and less time....and in august you start high school soccer and then next school year you're going to be going through just as busy of a schedule and I don't know. I feel like I'm falling for you at the wrong time. I love this relationship when I'm with you, but it sucks big time when I'm not. I'm not at all saying I don't want to be with you, I do tons......but that's the problem....I guess what I'm saying is, are you sure that I'm the right kind of guy for you right now? I mean, I have so many feelings for you, but the more I think about life here in new hampshire, the more I feel like 99% of the time I'm going to be completely alone or without you. I mean now I get to see you in school but next year I won't even get that and I just, don't want to feel this way. I don't want to worry about anything anymore like I didn't when I was first with you. I loved those dates, but we haven't had one in forever and it's going to be awhile before you have time with finals coming up and.....I can't just be the boyfriend you have time for in the summer and no other time. don't get me wrong, summer tara sounds awesomely amazing but, school tara doesn't have lots of time for me...and this is basically the biggest decision of my life so far.....and I want it to be the right one. I'm afraid if you go weeks at a time without seeing me, you would, sort of not want to be with me anymore and I would be completely alone then. I don't know what to do, and this is a problem for me because if I had all the time in the world to think I wouldn't bother you with it. I would just work this out on my own......but the second I sign the lease for an apartment, the decision is made. I have no time to think. I know you told me you want me to stay, but everytime I read that note you wrote to me, I really feel like you want me to go. I guess I just want a sign, and I'm not asking you to do anything, I just....OH TARA don't you ever just wish the right answer would slap you across the face?????? or just, come to you???? I wish it would just fall in my lap right now. and I wish I could see into your mind and see what you're thinking so I know......no holding back, just plain tara.........because I know you, and no matter how hard you try, you'll hold back just a little. and for some reason I think the right answer is somewhere in your head. I know you can't tell me what the right answer is.....I just want life to be like it was the very first time I brought you home.....and I sang with my windows rolled down the entire way back to my apartment, the rocket summer. I was so happy nothing else mattered.
You're pretty much the best tara, that's why this is so hard. because if you were anything less than what I think is the perfect girl, I would have made the decision to leave.
You're the cutest girl ever and even if I only see you for five seconds, I'll love it tomorrow
Later Gator
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