Skunk Works
I was driving down the road this morning when my car filled with the unmistakable stench of skunk. My windows were up, and I gagged as my air conditioning pumped more and more of the odor into the tight cabin of my car. Apparently sometime last night someone struck a poor, unsuspecting skunk as it trotted across the road in the darkness. What were its last moments like? Did the nearsighted creature look up to see a speeding Ford pickup, mistaking the glaring headlights as the halos of angels? Was the death intentional? Was the skunk merely suicidal, distraught over his failed attempts at winning the heart of his beloved Fifi? It didn't really matter. All that remained was the body of a lifeless skunk, lying embarassingly spread eagle in the middle of the road. Oh yes, and there was that unmistakable stench of skunk. That remained as well. I just whized by at forty miles an hour, gagging. When loved ones pass away, they usually leave behind things like money, real estate, that china set you've just been dying to get your hands on, or at the least some pleasant or funny memories. When animals die after getting hit by cars, all they leave behind are festering blood and guts, usually accompanied by some degree of foul odor. In the case of skunks, the foul odor is appreciably more than other dead animals like squirrels, possums, or raccoons. I suppose it's their last little bit of revenge. Like a bloody, smelly Jesus on Golgotha, the animals stare with their dead eyes and say to us, "Look what you've done to me!"
Later in the day, I drove by the same spot in the road. The skunk was still there. There was a pickup truck parked on the shoulder. Beside it stood a man holding a plastic bag. He kept glancing between the dead skunk on the road and the oncoming traffic. He could have been one of those hard-boiled detectives from a film noir, slowly putting together the pieces of a murder mystery at the crime scene: "Let's see, we've got us one dead skunk, no witnesses, no weapon, and a lotta smelliness ... Now, how could a perfectly healthy skunk just die in the middle of the road like this? Wait a sec! There's got to be more to this ... those cars!" Despite my overactive imagination, I think the guy was just looking for a break in traffic so he could put the skunk in a bag and dispose of it properly. I saw him put his hand up to his face as he turned his head away. I imagine the smell is a hundred times worse when you're face to face with a splattered skunk as opposed to just driving by it.
I know we'll all die one day. I just hope that when I go, I won't make a big mess and be a huge inconvenience to others. You could have been the greatest, nicest skunk in the world, but when you're roadkill in the middle of the pavement, all that anyone is going to remember is that you really really stink.
~ Clint
Later in the day, I drove by the same spot in the road. The skunk was still there. There was a pickup truck parked on the shoulder. Beside it stood a man holding a plastic bag. He kept glancing between the dead skunk on the road and the oncoming traffic. He could have been one of those hard-boiled detectives from a film noir, slowly putting together the pieces of a murder mystery at the crime scene: "Let's see, we've got us one dead skunk, no witnesses, no weapon, and a lotta smelliness ... Now, how could a perfectly healthy skunk just die in the middle of the road like this? Wait a sec! There's got to be more to this ... those cars!" Despite my overactive imagination, I think the guy was just looking for a break in traffic so he could put the skunk in a bag and dispose of it properly. I saw him put his hand up to his face as he turned his head away. I imagine the smell is a hundred times worse when you're face to face with a splattered skunk as opposed to just driving by it.
I know we'll all die one day. I just hope that when I go, I won't make a big mess and be a huge inconvenience to others. You could have been the greatest, nicest skunk in the world, but when you're roadkill in the middle of the pavement, all that anyone is going to remember is that you really really stink.
~ Clint