Woulda been fuller but that woulda taken a few pages.
What’s going on? I know I haven’t been on here in a lil bit. I didn’t like the feeling this journal had before, it’s true I always put what’s on my mind *one way or another*, but it just wasn’t feeling right. Still doesn’t, but sometimes you just gotta get things off ya mind right. So let’s start this off on a good note. I’ve met three beautiful women lately, women who you’d gladly bend over backwards for if it were a guarantee that you’d see a smile. It’s funny though because it always seems like there’s a drawback. One has a child. Not that I have a problem with that at all. I think it just brings out her beauty even more. Then there’s the nut that’s so fun to talk to, but I just can’t seem to connect with her. Then there’s Corey, beautiful intelligent gentle caring Corey. This girl is one of the closest definitions to innocent that can be found in Detroit. And we do connect, but it seems like something’s missing. But, as much fun as they are, they still are just a distraction from the girls I love…
Got my lil bugaboo down south. I still say that me and her could truly be happy, but the distance just keeps fucking me up. I think about her, and I’m all smiles. I talk to her and it’s like an automatic Aphrodisiac. But she’s been going through a lot lately and it’s not easy trying to talk to somebody who’s pissed/sad on a reg, I just can’t find the right things to say to her anymore.
Then there’s Tonia. Lol That’s a funny thing right there. I have no chance in hell of getting with that girl but she defines perfection to me. Her looks, personality, attitude… she’s that girl that all others are compared to, and trust it’s a lot to live up to. But yet again, just as much as I care about her, she loves her ex/current b/f more. I know I won’t have her, but it doesn’t make things any easier when I talk to her or see her, just like damn, you sure I can’t have you for just a week…
So that brings us to Juin. This girl is hard to explain. I don’t even know what I think of Juin anymore. I would’ve sworn that I was in love with her a lil while ago. Then I claimed it was only a physical attraction. But it’s neither. I guess I just see something in her that is so special, but is constantly being stomped on by these dumb azz niggaz. I guess I was hoping I could be her knight in shining armor. The guy who’d treat her right and show her true love unconditional. But I’m not what she needs, came to that conclusion a while back. I just can’t figure out if I want her in my life because it’s so weird to me.
It’s a damn shame man. I know what I want, I know who I want, and I know why I want them. Just can’t have any damn body. None of it’s meant to be and that shyt eats me up. Some nights I lay down and turn on the radio, I hear these songs talking about love and devotion and I just keep asking myself does love even exist anymore. The more I see, the more I seem to realize that relationships aren’t about love. It’s physical, convenient, about the guys’ money, the girls’ body, or you only date them to pass the time. What the fuck. Guess love just exist in dreams…. Either that or I’m just that damn unlucky…
Got my lil bugaboo down south. I still say that me and her could truly be happy, but the distance just keeps fucking me up. I think about her, and I’m all smiles. I talk to her and it’s like an automatic Aphrodisiac. But she’s been going through a lot lately and it’s not easy trying to talk to somebody who’s pissed/sad on a reg, I just can’t find the right things to say to her anymore.
Then there’s Tonia. Lol That’s a funny thing right there. I have no chance in hell of getting with that girl but she defines perfection to me. Her looks, personality, attitude… she’s that girl that all others are compared to, and trust it’s a lot to live up to. But yet again, just as much as I care about her, she loves her ex/current b/f more. I know I won’t have her, but it doesn’t make things any easier when I talk to her or see her, just like damn, you sure I can’t have you for just a week…
So that brings us to Juin. This girl is hard to explain. I don’t even know what I think of Juin anymore. I would’ve sworn that I was in love with her a lil while ago. Then I claimed it was only a physical attraction. But it’s neither. I guess I just see something in her that is so special, but is constantly being stomped on by these dumb azz niggaz. I guess I was hoping I could be her knight in shining armor. The guy who’d treat her right and show her true love unconditional. But I’m not what she needs, came to that conclusion a while back. I just can’t figure out if I want her in my life because it’s so weird to me.
It’s a damn shame man. I know what I want, I know who I want, and I know why I want them. Just can’t have any damn body. None of it’s meant to be and that shyt eats me up. Some nights I lay down and turn on the radio, I hear these songs talking about love and devotion and I just keep asking myself does love even exist anymore. The more I see, the more I seem to realize that relationships aren’t about love. It’s physical, convenient, about the guys’ money, the girls’ body, or you only date them to pass the time. What the fuck. Guess love just exist in dreams…. Either that or I’m just that damn unlucky…