(no subject)
The following was posted on the Awful forums as a faux diary entry in a Fallout playthrough.
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Come on. Let's be reasonable. I have a large gun. TWO large guns. And my favorite shotgun, which, let me tell you, is no slouch when it comes to doing critical damage to the eyes. Seriously. You know clay shooting? Where they throw the Frisbee rocks in the air for people to shoot at? Yeah. I can do that with like, really tiny rocks. Seriously.
They throw that shit, and I can, like, aim individual buckshot pieces directly in the path of other small flying rocks. It's like my buckshot has little tiny lasers guided lasers things.
That doesn't convince you to leave me alone? Okay, fine. I got another gun I'm not that good with it yet, but it's still a kick-ass gun. It melts people. Seriously, when you shoot them just right, the flesh melts off their very bones. I understand that it's very painful. Do you seriously want to fuck with that?
STILL not convinced? Look at my gatling gun. This is the kind of gun they used to put PLANES on. It wasn't a case of 'Oh, we got this jet fighter, it kinda needs something besides missiles and bombs and shit, let's strap this thing on'. NO. It was a case of a guy making a gun SO awesome, that he just stepped back, and said, "This shit needs to fly'. And everyone else is like, 'You cant make a gun fly!'. And the first guy is all like, 'Fuck you, yes I can. I will strap a PLANE to this GUN.' And everyone's like, 'You mean strap the gun to a plane?' And the first guy is like, 'No, man. I am strapping the plane to the gun. The plane is an ACCESORY.' And then everyone's minds were blown. Like, there was some serious mind blowing going on there. Ears were bleeding. Synapses just went an committed suicide because it was so awesome.
There's just no talking with you things. Seriously.
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That forum was so worth the 10 bucks.
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Come on. Let's be reasonable. I have a large gun. TWO large guns. And my favorite shotgun, which, let me tell you, is no slouch when it comes to doing critical damage to the eyes. Seriously. You know clay shooting? Where they throw the Frisbee rocks in the air for people to shoot at? Yeah. I can do that with like, really tiny rocks. Seriously.
They throw that shit, and I can, like, aim individual buckshot pieces directly in the path of other small flying rocks. It's like my buckshot has little tiny lasers guided lasers things.
That doesn't convince you to leave me alone? Okay, fine. I got another gun I'm not that good with it yet, but it's still a kick-ass gun. It melts people. Seriously, when you shoot them just right, the flesh melts off their very bones. I understand that it's very painful. Do you seriously want to fuck with that?
STILL not convinced? Look at my gatling gun. This is the kind of gun they used to put PLANES on. It wasn't a case of 'Oh, we got this jet fighter, it kinda needs something besides missiles and bombs and shit, let's strap this thing on'. NO. It was a case of a guy making a gun SO awesome, that he just stepped back, and said, "This shit needs to fly'. And everyone else is like, 'You cant make a gun fly!'. And the first guy is all like, 'Fuck you, yes I can. I will strap a PLANE to this GUN.' And everyone's like, 'You mean strap the gun to a plane?' And the first guy is like, 'No, man. I am strapping the plane to the gun. The plane is an ACCESORY.' And then everyone's minds were blown. Like, there was some serious mind blowing going on there. Ears were bleeding. Synapses just went an committed suicide because it was so awesome.
There's just no talking with you things. Seriously.
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That forum was so worth the 10 bucks.