Sleepless In Sea... Boston!...
So today was quite a day... in fact it is pretty much still going on... I have no idea how I'm still awake, I woke up around 10AM & since then I've essentially been in a marathon of studying/working on something Astronomy-related. It's been a wee bit stressful, but it's nothing out of the norm. This fucking double-work week was a bastard, I mean, she assigned us the same amount of work for a normal week (for this week) but our final is on fucking Tuesday... I don't see how giving a week's worth of reading/problem sets makes any sense to be completed 1 day before a final. I'm still glad that the final is actually here, I'm that much closer to being home, after today is over, I'm practically already in SB... except for the fact that I have to wait until Friday to really be in SB... but Hell, SB is practically like 10^(-35) centimeters away from Boston if you think of it compared to the size of the universe.
A lot of shit that you learn in Astronomy makes you think "WTF?" or it does for me... like the fact that "only 4-5% of the universe's total mass is actually visible & the other 95% is 25% Dark Matter & 70% Dark Energy... particles & energy that give off no radiation, have essentially no mass when taken individually, & only affect the visible matter gravitationally... that is some fucked up shit right there. There are so many unanswered questions in the field, so many things that are just left to conjecture & well-supported hypotheses... How do you know for sure? for some things you just don't. The fact that the beginning of the universe in the "Big Bang" can only be accurately traced back to a time 10^(-35) seconds after it already happened is also strange... that all the matter in the universe was created by this event, & all came from the same tiny area of spacetime is even crazier. You look at the evidence that supports it, but there are still so many questions you could ask & still get no definite answer. I think that's what interests me - the subject is still evolving, still changing... Hell, it could change tomorrow even.
& with that I realize that many, many things could conceivably change tomorrow. or even yesterday. It makes me want to throw up. I don't want to come home & have things be terribly different. That could potentially kick my ass...
When I left Mauricio's after reading my fucking textbook for about 5 hrs it was raining like Hell...
It made me feel like shit.
I hadn't even thought of home being any different than how I left it. & then it was brought to my attention that much has in fact changed. How much? I don't know. Life is so cosmic. So fucking cosmic I could have a redout any second now... & that's no fucking type-o.
I still have to write a 3-page essay & read 2 chapters (about 87 pages) in my textbook before 6PM today... & that's not counting the time I'd really like to spend sleeping. Either way, if I don't even sleep today, I certainly won't sleep tonight... or the next night... or the next night. I just want to come home. I want it to all seem like 1 day. I should just take a flight home right after my final, but I can't - so fuck it.
I hate Livejournal... I always forget people can, in theory, read this shit... I just don't feel like writing 2-line posts about how I'm fucking bored, or tired, or my dog did a cool trick that I've never seen it do before, or I just shot a Super-Soaker at 2 people who were having sex in my dorm mate's bed because he really wanted them to get the fuck out of there & didn't know what to do about it, or that I just threw a fucking computer monitor & processor off of a bridge right next to my dorm (although I did in fact do those last 2 things... both of which were pretty funny/excellent).
I'm glad that I have some friends, a fridge & a TV, & videogames here. There's literally only 1 thing that is obviously missing, however I'll refrain from explaining myself in order to avoid writing another 10-page section of shit.
I should go have coffee at the dining hall right about now, since it is open for breakfast, but I've got a fridge full of energy drinks, so fuck that. The coffee tastes like dirty dishwater... maybe I've already mentioned that some time, but it seriously does.
I don't even want to write any more, but I know that once I stop writing this I'll have to start writing my essay & I just really want to do whatever I can to avoid that shit. I suppose I could explain the whole theory & history of Dark Matter to you readers, since I'm supposed to be able to write it out fully on my final, & that'd be somewhat like studying, but I'll spare you all the details, although it is pretty fucking interesting.
Anyway, I guess I should leave right about now & actually get some real work done. The start is always the very hardest part.
It's fucking 8:15AM here.
I'm almost worried to come home, but I'm not even kidding myself with that, so who the fuck am I kidding? I'm ready to come home, & I can deal with the myriad of hypothetical problems that may be, just as eagerly, awaiting my return.
See you soon.
Godspeed!
-james
A lot of shit that you learn in Astronomy makes you think "WTF?" or it does for me... like the fact that "only 4-5% of the universe's total mass is actually visible & the other 95% is 25% Dark Matter & 70% Dark Energy... particles & energy that give off no radiation, have essentially no mass when taken individually, & only affect the visible matter gravitationally... that is some fucked up shit right there. There are so many unanswered questions in the field, so many things that are just left to conjecture & well-supported hypotheses... How do you know for sure? for some things you just don't. The fact that the beginning of the universe in the "Big Bang" can only be accurately traced back to a time 10^(-35) seconds after it already happened is also strange... that all the matter in the universe was created by this event, & all came from the same tiny area of spacetime is even crazier. You look at the evidence that supports it, but there are still so many questions you could ask & still get no definite answer. I think that's what interests me - the subject is still evolving, still changing... Hell, it could change tomorrow even.
& with that I realize that many, many things could conceivably change tomorrow. or even yesterday. It makes me want to throw up. I don't want to come home & have things be terribly different. That could potentially kick my ass...
When I left Mauricio's after reading my fucking textbook for about 5 hrs it was raining like Hell...
It made me feel like shit.
I hadn't even thought of home being any different than how I left it. & then it was brought to my attention that much has in fact changed. How much? I don't know. Life is so cosmic. So fucking cosmic I could have a redout any second now... & that's no fucking type-o.
I still have to write a 3-page essay & read 2 chapters (about 87 pages) in my textbook before 6PM today... & that's not counting the time I'd really like to spend sleeping. Either way, if I don't even sleep today, I certainly won't sleep tonight... or the next night... or the next night. I just want to come home. I want it to all seem like 1 day. I should just take a flight home right after my final, but I can't - so fuck it.
I hate Livejournal... I always forget people can, in theory, read this shit... I just don't feel like writing 2-line posts about how I'm fucking bored, or tired, or my dog did a cool trick that I've never seen it do before, or I just shot a Super-Soaker at 2 people who were having sex in my dorm mate's bed because he really wanted them to get the fuck out of there & didn't know what to do about it, or that I just threw a fucking computer monitor & processor off of a bridge right next to my dorm (although I did in fact do those last 2 things... both of which were pretty funny/excellent).
I'm glad that I have some friends, a fridge & a TV, & videogames here. There's literally only 1 thing that is obviously missing, however I'll refrain from explaining myself in order to avoid writing another 10-page section of shit.
I should go have coffee at the dining hall right about now, since it is open for breakfast, but I've got a fridge full of energy drinks, so fuck that. The coffee tastes like dirty dishwater... maybe I've already mentioned that some time, but it seriously does.
I don't even want to write any more, but I know that once I stop writing this I'll have to start writing my essay & I just really want to do whatever I can to avoid that shit. I suppose I could explain the whole theory & history of Dark Matter to you readers, since I'm supposed to be able to write it out fully on my final, & that'd be somewhat like studying, but I'll spare you all the details, although it is pretty fucking interesting.
Anyway, I guess I should leave right about now & actually get some real work done. The start is always the very hardest part.
It's fucking 8:15AM here.
I'm almost worried to come home, but I'm not even kidding myself with that, so who the fuck am I kidding? I'm ready to come home, & I can deal with the myriad of hypothetical problems that may be, just as eagerly, awaiting my return.
See you soon.
Godspeed!
-james