its been a while
So its 12:35 AM and I cant sleep all I do is ponder and think.
So some of you wanna know how Im doing. How Im really doing? Im doing awesome and I really mean that. I feel better about who I am than I ever have in my life. Just over the past few months I have grown stronger and deeper than I ever thought I could and its just such a strong feeling that if I was standing up I'd fall to my knees. I am really happy with who I am. Some people walk around this earth wishing and hoping that one day they will reach a point where they are everything that they have always wanted to be. I was one of those people until recently when I realized hoping and wishing is not reliable while going out and taking control of your happiness and of your hopes and dreams is what you have to do. Now if your sitting there saying its not that simple. What if I fail? Life is largely about failing. I have learned that recently. I used to think that if I failed at something it made me look inferior. It does but only if you let it. Its all in the way you pick yourself up and showing that its not going to bring you down failure isnt going to stop you. In the past few months I have made more of my dreams come true than I did thinking about my dreams for all these years. In the past few months I have nearly finished a screenplay. I have recorded music(and im continuing to work on a demo). I have created the art that ive always wanted to show everyone. I have turned my dreams of sitting around and possibily getting paid to make people smile into an organization that is about to take off. There are a few other things that I have done to make me who I have become but thats for a select few of you to know. I owe alot of this to many people that are in my life or were temporarily in my life. Thank You to those who have believe in me. Without your support I feel like Id sit there wondering why I was unhappy with situations. I want to thank my friend James Johansen for listening to what I had to say and giving me quite possibilly the most valuable information that ive received from anyone. I want to thank Sarah for inspiring me to go out and make things happen. I dunno what happend with you but I hope your doing alright and as disappointed as a felt I still feel that you deserved to know that. I want to thank my very bestfriend Josh Bernhard. You being in my life was something that I absolutely needed and I didnt even know it. So some advice for those who feel like your life isnt what it should be. Well, technically im not all the way there but im not far off. What Ive learned is dont let others influence how you feel about your dreams your personality your physical appearance. People will try just about anything to feel more powerful than you because they know deep down that they arent. If any friend makes you feel like total shit about who you are or wants to harp on all your flaws and blame you for things you havent done isnt a friend that you need in your life. Being without friends is better than someone who wants to tear you down to blind their own sadness. One major point is that we all must learn to love who we are and project that towards everyone that comes in contact with you. As human beings we have a defense mechanism that is trigger when it comes to who we really are. For example, we act differently in front of our closest friends and family than we do in a public setting where we dont know anyone. You must find a way to tear that wall down. This personally has been one of my greatest challenges and has driven me absolutely mad. This is by far one of the hardest things to overcome for anyone. I believe this is why we all rely so heavily on drugs and alcohol in social situations. I also think this is why the internet has become the main means of communication and interaction. So far this is all the advice I have for you right now. Its just insane for me to think about how many insecurities that have been generated simply because of negative influences in our society. If we were all supportive and truly wanted the best for our fellowman then there would be many dreams accomplished and many lives truly lived.
I highly encourage your thoughts on this. I also want to let you know that you all have something great about you whether you realize it or not. I truly hope that everyone becomes everything they have always wanted to be. My mission in life is to make others smile and ultimately happy. Maybe I'm crazy but then again maybe im on to something.................
So some of you wanna know how Im doing. How Im really doing? Im doing awesome and I really mean that. I feel better about who I am than I ever have in my life. Just over the past few months I have grown stronger and deeper than I ever thought I could and its just such a strong feeling that if I was standing up I'd fall to my knees. I am really happy with who I am. Some people walk around this earth wishing and hoping that one day they will reach a point where they are everything that they have always wanted to be. I was one of those people until recently when I realized hoping and wishing is not reliable while going out and taking control of your happiness and of your hopes and dreams is what you have to do. Now if your sitting there saying its not that simple. What if I fail? Life is largely about failing. I have learned that recently. I used to think that if I failed at something it made me look inferior. It does but only if you let it. Its all in the way you pick yourself up and showing that its not going to bring you down failure isnt going to stop you. In the past few months I have made more of my dreams come true than I did thinking about my dreams for all these years. In the past few months I have nearly finished a screenplay. I have recorded music(and im continuing to work on a demo). I have created the art that ive always wanted to show everyone. I have turned my dreams of sitting around and possibily getting paid to make people smile into an organization that is about to take off. There are a few other things that I have done to make me who I have become but thats for a select few of you to know. I owe alot of this to many people that are in my life or were temporarily in my life. Thank You to those who have believe in me. Without your support I feel like Id sit there wondering why I was unhappy with situations. I want to thank my friend James Johansen for listening to what I had to say and giving me quite possibilly the most valuable information that ive received from anyone. I want to thank Sarah for inspiring me to go out and make things happen. I dunno what happend with you but I hope your doing alright and as disappointed as a felt I still feel that you deserved to know that. I want to thank my very bestfriend Josh Bernhard. You being in my life was something that I absolutely needed and I didnt even know it. So some advice for those who feel like your life isnt what it should be. Well, technically im not all the way there but im not far off. What Ive learned is dont let others influence how you feel about your dreams your personality your physical appearance. People will try just about anything to feel more powerful than you because they know deep down that they arent. If any friend makes you feel like total shit about who you are or wants to harp on all your flaws and blame you for things you havent done isnt a friend that you need in your life. Being without friends is better than someone who wants to tear you down to blind their own sadness. One major point is that we all must learn to love who we are and project that towards everyone that comes in contact with you. As human beings we have a defense mechanism that is trigger when it comes to who we really are. For example, we act differently in front of our closest friends and family than we do in a public setting where we dont know anyone. You must find a way to tear that wall down. This personally has been one of my greatest challenges and has driven me absolutely mad. This is by far one of the hardest things to overcome for anyone. I believe this is why we all rely so heavily on drugs and alcohol in social situations. I also think this is why the internet has become the main means of communication and interaction. So far this is all the advice I have for you right now. Its just insane for me to think about how many insecurities that have been generated simply because of negative influences in our society. If we were all supportive and truly wanted the best for our fellowman then there would be many dreams accomplished and many lives truly lived.
I highly encourage your thoughts on this. I also want to let you know that you all have something great about you whether you realize it or not. I truly hope that everyone becomes everything they have always wanted to be. My mission in life is to make others smile and ultimately happy. Maybe I'm crazy but then again maybe im on to something.................