(no subject)
Written in History Class:
“I am in a reflective mood.
“Old questions fill me...
“Why is existence so perfect but with a perfection my perception constantly blinds me to?
“How do I consider myself light-hearted when I take my circumstances so personally, when I act so dramatic?
“I complain about my situation, complain that my time here looks so slow. But time isn't real! Time is relative; controlled by me-based purely on my perception.
“Instead of moping so despondently and making time lag I should focus on every enjoyable detail of my activities and conditions, no matter how minuet, and increase it, magnify it, and enjoy it so that time and life move by faster…
“That’s why I enjoy being manic. That’s why I’m obsessed with the computer. That’s why I cut myself.
It’s all to prevent time from lagging, from making me miserable. I can’t stand to be idle or bored. And I can’t enjoy things or use them to speed time if they have to be forced, I don’t genuinely enjoy them.”
“I am in a reflective mood.
“Old questions fill me...
“Why is existence so perfect but with a perfection my perception constantly blinds me to?
“How do I consider myself light-hearted when I take my circumstances so personally, when I act so dramatic?
“I complain about my situation, complain that my time here looks so slow. But time isn't real! Time is relative; controlled by me-based purely on my perception.
“Instead of moping so despondently and making time lag I should focus on every enjoyable detail of my activities and conditions, no matter how minuet, and increase it, magnify it, and enjoy it so that time and life move by faster…
“That’s why I enjoy being manic. That’s why I’m obsessed with the computer. That’s why I cut myself.
It’s all to prevent time from lagging, from making me miserable. I can’t stand to be idle or bored. And I can’t enjoy things or use them to speed time if they have to be forced, I don’t genuinely enjoy them.”