I'd cry a river if my eyes hadn't already run dry..
So now that the introductions have run dry I suppose its time to make my first real post.
I've been staring at this blinking screen thinking of what to write, but ultimately I decided fuck it. This is my journal and I'll write whatever I want, whatever is on my mind. Right now I'm gearing up, in nine days I'll be in Ohio, catering to the ears of our own audience. That's right folks, we're headlining a tour, step right up and get your tickets while they're hot. No for real, do it. I'm actually really worried about the turn out, what if no one shows and we end up playing for close-to empty venues? It shouldn't really matter, I know I say that I would rather play for a audience of ten that loved the music then a audience of fifty who hated it, but sometimes I really question my dedication to the music. I'm worrying about how the audience is going to react more then how much I do. This band was formed not for them, but for us. This was our venting and this was our way of expression, we didn't start out as a track show but recently I've begun to wonder if we've become one.
Not to long ago we jumped ship off of the Pop Disaster tour with Green Day and Blink 182, two great bands who could fill a venue with a single song. The adrenaline rush of walking onto a stage in front of those crowds of that proportion was one of the biggest highs I've gotten. To them, walking on to the stage was the greatest thing they've ever seen. I suppose that's one of the biggest perks of being a rock star, having people shower you with praise every time you show up for work. The superficiality of it is just amazing, it just coats the top layer of the whole entertainment business. My only hope is just to keep pounding my head into it and hoping that I crack the shell enough to break through the walls and make my own little niche of non-superficiality in the corner. I just hope I don't give myself brain damage in the process.
Speaking of brain damage, working under the strict thumb of DreamWorks seems to be opening my eyes to the fact that I might not be the only person with it. Even though it is a bigger label and we have more money to throw around for vanity affairs we don't always have the same freedom that we did with our old label, it was one of the strangest things in the world to be dropped from our old label and the switched directly over the dream works. There was no PR, no manager, it was just our decision. Sometimes I just feel like nothing more then a corporate whore for it. They're trying to push us into only releasing singles that appeal to the general audience and not the proud fan base that have supported us for so long. I enjoyed the old times when we'd release a hit single just every now and then. It's hard riding from hit to hit, single to single, and just be known for those songs with the rest of your history thrown to the wind. Before we've had the opportunity to tour and gain fans without the aid of mass marketing and really gain the unconditional love of them. I'm just worried that it's going to break, that's all. We try out hardest to really get through and make people understand what we're trying to convey. It's like any form of artist expression; hopefully they get something out of it. If not then I guess we failed but I'd like to think that they will.
Sometimes I just want to go back to my garage and plunk away for whoever comes by to listen.
I've been staring at this blinking screen thinking of what to write, but ultimately I decided fuck it. This is my journal and I'll write whatever I want, whatever is on my mind. Right now I'm gearing up, in nine days I'll be in Ohio, catering to the ears of our own audience. That's right folks, we're headlining a tour, step right up and get your tickets while they're hot. No for real, do it. I'm actually really worried about the turn out, what if no one shows and we end up playing for close-to empty venues? It shouldn't really matter, I know I say that I would rather play for a audience of ten that loved the music then a audience of fifty who hated it, but sometimes I really question my dedication to the music. I'm worrying about how the audience is going to react more then how much I do. This band was formed not for them, but for us. This was our venting and this was our way of expression, we didn't start out as a track show but recently I've begun to wonder if we've become one.
Not to long ago we jumped ship off of the Pop Disaster tour with Green Day and Blink 182, two great bands who could fill a venue with a single song. The adrenaline rush of walking onto a stage in front of those crowds of that proportion was one of the biggest highs I've gotten. To them, walking on to the stage was the greatest thing they've ever seen. I suppose that's one of the biggest perks of being a rock star, having people shower you with praise every time you show up for work. The superficiality of it is just amazing, it just coats the top layer of the whole entertainment business. My only hope is just to keep pounding my head into it and hoping that I crack the shell enough to break through the walls and make my own little niche of non-superficiality in the corner. I just hope I don't give myself brain damage in the process.
Speaking of brain damage, working under the strict thumb of DreamWorks seems to be opening my eyes to the fact that I might not be the only person with it. Even though it is a bigger label and we have more money to throw around for vanity affairs we don't always have the same freedom that we did with our old label, it was one of the strangest things in the world to be dropped from our old label and the switched directly over the dream works. There was no PR, no manager, it was just our decision. Sometimes I just feel like nothing more then a corporate whore for it. They're trying to push us into only releasing singles that appeal to the general audience and not the proud fan base that have supported us for so long. I enjoyed the old times when we'd release a hit single just every now and then. It's hard riding from hit to hit, single to single, and just be known for those songs with the rest of your history thrown to the wind. Before we've had the opportunity to tour and gain fans without the aid of mass marketing and really gain the unconditional love of them. I'm just worried that it's going to break, that's all. We try out hardest to really get through and make people understand what we're trying to convey. It's like any form of artist expression; hopefully they get something out of it. If not then I guess we failed but I'd like to think that they will.
Sometimes I just want to go back to my garage and plunk away for whoever comes by to listen.