Unemployed Deadbeat day # 92
Today marked another meeting of the Brain Trust.
I've mentioned the brain trust many times in this Journal it is now that I will explain what that is. Basically it's nothing more than Goldenmoon Bear, Count Blastula, The Golden G-d Producer AC and myself having lunch at the Rose and Crown in Palo Alto. At these estemed meetings we talk about our various music projects, discuss music business strategies, laugh about our jobs and I usually say a lot of inapropriate stuff. We call it the brain trust cause it makes us feel cool about having lunch and it makes our discussions feel that much more important when really all we are doing is talking shit.
I've also made it no secret that I have a crush on the Bar Maiden that works there. She is tall, blonde, foriegn and looks a lot like Aimee Mann. At one point I was convinced that she talked in an Irish accent but only to me and would talk to everyone else in a normal American accent. Anyway, everytime we go there I try to say something witty to her while ordering or strike up any possible kind of conversation and to be point blank honest...she's just having none of it.....EVER. I ask questions like "what beer do you recommend on a hot day like today?" only to have her mumble some answer or say..."I don't know it depends what YOU like". The more she behaves this way the more I want to get her to talk to me...I mean she doesn't even patronize me for the sake of business the way some waitresses will to coax a bigger tip out of you (twyds).
I've even totally dueched it out once or twice and tried to talk louder about the music business stuff when she is present just so she'll overhear and hopefully ask about our band, hence making me look cooler...NO DICE! IT never works and I today I found out why.
Early on in these lunch meetings before it was even known as the Brain Trust I'm talking at LEAST 2-3 months ago, Goldenmoon Bear brought some of AC's work mail to the lunch as they used to work together. One of the pieces of mail he recieved was a book called "How to Light a Fart". I was embarassed to even have it at the table as we were looking at it and laughing and now it turns out I might as well have written it myslef as far as Aimee Mann is concerned because it turns out AC left the book there so many months ago and SHE KEPT IT FOR US.
So today after having another lengthy hot shot conversation about how we were so cool and going to take the music world by storm we go to pay the Bill...After a quick trip to the bathroom to fix the hair up and get ready to attempt YES AGAIN some kind of dialog with the woman I walk into a horror show. It seems as AC was paying his tab Amiee Mann had reached behind the cash register, pulled out the copy of "How to Light Your Farts" and asks "Is this your book?". LOLOLOL. Of course I immediately recognized it and screamed the scream of a 12 year old girl in my head.
AC is immediately denying it and saying he has no idea what she's talking about and laughing nervously. "What!? Noooo! What is that!? I've never seen that book in my life!". Karla isn't talking at all. Aimee Mann is having none of it and is insisting WE left this at the table a while ago. This was like 2-3 months ago, we've been there at least 10 times since then, WHY? I swear I wanted to turn and run and act like I had never seen any of these people in my life. AC looked like a little kid trying to lie to his mother and the mom in this case knew she had him nailed, Karla was stone cold silent and just letting AC hang himself as the more he denied it the worse we all looked. I think during this back and forth AC actually turned to me and asked "Charlie is that yours?" I say maybe because my brain was in such panic mode I'm not sure what really happened.
Nervous and knowing that this woman would not now or ever even pretend I was someone interesting I let AC and myself off the hook.
"Hey AC remember when Karla brought you the mail. Someone sent this to you to review". I turn to Aimee Mann, "They are journalists for the PA Daily" (....Karla and AC at the same time..."Weekly!")
Anyway we paid the bill in total humiliation I over tipped yet again and realized all this time I had been trying to be seen as this cool interesting musican that comes to the bar for lunch, and yet she will now and ever more think of us as "The Fart Book Crew".
I'm never going back.
I've mentioned the brain trust many times in this Journal it is now that I will explain what that is. Basically it's nothing more than Goldenmoon Bear, Count Blastula, The Golden G-d Producer AC and myself having lunch at the Rose and Crown in Palo Alto. At these estemed meetings we talk about our various music projects, discuss music business strategies, laugh about our jobs and I usually say a lot of inapropriate stuff. We call it the brain trust cause it makes us feel cool about having lunch and it makes our discussions feel that much more important when really all we are doing is talking shit.
I've also made it no secret that I have a crush on the Bar Maiden that works there. She is tall, blonde, foriegn and looks a lot like Aimee Mann. At one point I was convinced that she talked in an Irish accent but only to me and would talk to everyone else in a normal American accent. Anyway, everytime we go there I try to say something witty to her while ordering or strike up any possible kind of conversation and to be point blank honest...she's just having none of it.....EVER. I ask questions like "what beer do you recommend on a hot day like today?" only to have her mumble some answer or say..."I don't know it depends what YOU like". The more she behaves this way the more I want to get her to talk to me...I mean she doesn't even patronize me for the sake of business the way some waitresses will to coax a bigger tip out of you (twyds).
I've even totally dueched it out once or twice and tried to talk louder about the music business stuff when she is present just so she'll overhear and hopefully ask about our band, hence making me look cooler...NO DICE! IT never works and I today I found out why.
Early on in these lunch meetings before it was even known as the Brain Trust I'm talking at LEAST 2-3 months ago, Goldenmoon Bear brought some of AC's work mail to the lunch as they used to work together. One of the pieces of mail he recieved was a book called "How to Light a Fart". I was embarassed to even have it at the table as we were looking at it and laughing and now it turns out I might as well have written it myslef as far as Aimee Mann is concerned because it turns out AC left the book there so many months ago and SHE KEPT IT FOR US.
So today after having another lengthy hot shot conversation about how we were so cool and going to take the music world by storm we go to pay the Bill...After a quick trip to the bathroom to fix the hair up and get ready to attempt YES AGAIN some kind of dialog with the woman I walk into a horror show. It seems as AC was paying his tab Amiee Mann had reached behind the cash register, pulled out the copy of "How to Light Your Farts" and asks "Is this your book?". LOLOLOL. Of course I immediately recognized it and screamed the scream of a 12 year old girl in my head.
AC is immediately denying it and saying he has no idea what she's talking about and laughing nervously. "What!? Noooo! What is that!? I've never seen that book in my life!". Karla isn't talking at all. Aimee Mann is having none of it and is insisting WE left this at the table a while ago. This was like 2-3 months ago, we've been there at least 10 times since then, WHY? I swear I wanted to turn and run and act like I had never seen any of these people in my life. AC looked like a little kid trying to lie to his mother and the mom in this case knew she had him nailed, Karla was stone cold silent and just letting AC hang himself as the more he denied it the worse we all looked. I think during this back and forth AC actually turned to me and asked "Charlie is that yours?" I say maybe because my brain was in such panic mode I'm not sure what really happened.
Nervous and knowing that this woman would not now or ever even pretend I was someone interesting I let AC and myself off the hook.
"Hey AC remember when Karla brought you the mail. Someone sent this to you to review". I turn to Aimee Mann, "They are journalists for the PA Daily" (....Karla and AC at the same time..."Weekly!")
Anyway we paid the bill in total humiliation I over tipped yet again and realized all this time I had been trying to be seen as this cool interesting musican that comes to the bar for lunch, and yet she will now and ever more think of us as "The Fart Book Crew".
I'm never going back.