(no subject)
I had a second miscarriage a little while ago. This is very short version, because I can't think about it without crying, and as a nurse there's only so much crying I can do before I start worrying about dehydration.
I was almost eighteen weeks along, had just started feeling him move, has just started telling people who weren't employers or immediate family. He decided to come early, and our doctors said there was nothing to be done. He died; thanks to modern medicine, I lived.
Most days, I feel like I'm only just learning to be a grown-up. I don't know how to be a parent to a dead child. I don't know how to be this person who grieves so hard. I don't know where this story goes next.
I was almost eighteen weeks along, had just started feeling him move, has just started telling people who weren't employers or immediate family. He decided to come early, and our doctors said there was nothing to be done. He died; thanks to modern medicine, I lived.
Most days, I feel like I'm only just learning to be a grown-up. I don't know how to be a parent to a dead child. I don't know how to be this person who grieves so hard. I don't know where this story goes next.