Doppelganger
We recently went through a batch of new hires at work and, as I trained one of them, I got the feeling that he could be a pretty cool guy. Fast forwards about three weeks, and he and I have spent a pretty good deal of time talking and just kind of shooting the breeze. The more we talk, the more I get the sense that he and I are kind of the same guy that made different life choices.
He still lives at home as he goes through college and, from what I've gathered, hasn't ever really had to struggle for anything. He lives a pretty cushy life and always has. That said, he's still a very intelligent man and he and I connect on a lot of topics; most of the things that make sense to me make sense to him. He's just ... sheltered, I guess, would be the right word.
It's been very disconcerting to see myself reflected this way, to see who I would be if I hadn't made the choices I'd made; if my childhood hadn't been rougher; if I hadn't moved away from home; if I didn't have to pay my own rent. He is very much me without the rough, hardened edges, without the metaphysical scars. He still approaches problems from the 'How do I solve this?' mindset rather than the 'How can I make this problem eternally irrelevant?'. He is the smart, funny, nice guy, whereas I am the smart, funny, ruthless guy. It's weird encountering someone else who is 2/3rds you.
I have split feelings on him. Part of me wants to keep him away before I change too much of him, before I meld him into more like me. Through his mental sunglasses, the world is a brighter, kinder place, and I feel he is a more humane person for that. He cares about other people and their problems, rather than having to make himself remember that the concerns of others outside of his chosen group matter. The few philosophical viewpoints that I've offered to him are always alien abstractions to him, at first, and he has to wrestle and grapple with them. He always catches on eventually, though; with work, I could change him. I could make him more like me. I'm not sure that that would really benefit him. He doesn't require the mindset and skillset that I have. It's just been a rather thought provoking evening, and wanted to get the words out somewhere.
He still lives at home as he goes through college and, from what I've gathered, hasn't ever really had to struggle for anything. He lives a pretty cushy life and always has. That said, he's still a very intelligent man and he and I connect on a lot of topics; most of the things that make sense to me make sense to him. He's just ... sheltered, I guess, would be the right word.
It's been very disconcerting to see myself reflected this way, to see who I would be if I hadn't made the choices I'd made; if my childhood hadn't been rougher; if I hadn't moved away from home; if I didn't have to pay my own rent. He is very much me without the rough, hardened edges, without the metaphysical scars. He still approaches problems from the 'How do I solve this?' mindset rather than the 'How can I make this problem eternally irrelevant?'. He is the smart, funny, nice guy, whereas I am the smart, funny, ruthless guy. It's weird encountering someone else who is 2/3rds you.
I have split feelings on him. Part of me wants to keep him away before I change too much of him, before I meld him into more like me. Through his mental sunglasses, the world is a brighter, kinder place, and I feel he is a more humane person for that. He cares about other people and their problems, rather than having to make himself remember that the concerns of others outside of his chosen group matter. The few philosophical viewpoints that I've offered to him are always alien abstractions to him, at first, and he has to wrestle and grapple with them. He always catches on eventually, though; with work, I could change him. I could make him more like me. I'm not sure that that would really benefit him. He doesn't require the mindset and skillset that I have. It's just been a rather thought provoking evening, and wanted to get the words out somewhere.