just thinking of marc
Bass players
Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the guitarist?
A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first
Q: What do you do when your bass player is drowning?
A: Throw him his amp!
Drummers
Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.
Q: How can you tell when there is a drummer at your front door?
A: The knocking gets faster.
Q: What do you call a drummer who has just broken up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
A: Drool.
Guitarists
Q: How do you make a guitar player turn down his volume?
A: put sheet music infront of him.
Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
A: Counterpoint.
Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!
Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".
Q:How do you get two guitar players to stay in tune?
A: Shoot one of them.
SINGERS
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q - How do you know that it's the lead singer knocking at your front door?
A: you open the door and he still doesnt know when to come in.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
Q - What´s the difference between a female lead singer and a terrorist?
A - You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A. The lead singer.
Q. Where is a singers resonance?
A. Where their brains should be.
Q. Whats the definition of an optimist?
A. A singer with a mortgage.
Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the guitarist?
A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first
Q: What do you do when your bass player is drowning?
A: Throw him his amp!
Drummers
Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.
Q: How can you tell when there is a drummer at your front door?
A: The knocking gets faster.
Q: What do you call a drummer who has just broken up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
A: Drool.
Guitarists
Q: How do you make a guitar player turn down his volume?
A: put sheet music infront of him.
Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
A: Counterpoint.
Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!
Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".
Q:How do you get two guitar players to stay in tune?
A: Shoot one of them.
SINGERS
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q - How do you know that it's the lead singer knocking at your front door?
A: you open the door and he still doesnt know when to come in.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
Q - What´s the difference between a female lead singer and a terrorist?
A - You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A. The lead singer.
Q. Where is a singers resonance?
A. Where their brains should be.
Q. Whats the definition of an optimist?
A. A singer with a mortgage.