I only write for myself

[jimboblove]

I killed this... I bring it back... I kill it again... I am told that I analize everything way to much... why people do things, why I act certain ways... and as of late... I haven't been around people.. so It has been turned all on myself... I as of late have been waking up with that feeling like I am about to fight... so with that and me being able to realize it... I have been lacking the act of wanting to talk to people... cause I feel like it is all going to piss me off.... well then I smoke pot... then I feel leveled off... like I feel calm... does this mean I am turning in to a fucking pot head... cause most of the time all I look forward to doing is smoking... yeah there are certain people I feel safe around... but for the most part I just want to sit in my house... watch a movie and then go to bed.... I feel like calling people, but then when the phone is in hand.. I lack the urge... like I just feel like I have lost all control of my life... like no matter how much progress I make... more is put in front of me... I lack feeling... but because I analize everything... and all I have to analize is myself... well... I know all of this... and this is just a forum for expression...

I watched "what the #$%^ do you know"... it has fucked me up to a degree... like what is around me that I don't see.. and I keep looking for it... hoping to at one point see everything... man... there is so much I could say... but I just realized... I hate this site..