Summer break
I don't have to work till monday, so this week between class ending and my job starting is my break. I've spent way too much time in greene and I really need to unwind.
So far I've yet to sleep in my own bed, in part because I've yet to assemble it at my new apt in the meadows 7-8. It's been a blast though, I'm getting a whole bunch of shit done that I've put off because of lack of time. And so far every night we've cooked or gone out to dinner...we being Me, Joe, Jeff, Kate, and Angela(spelling?). Anyways, I'm having way too much fun and I feel like such a waste cause I'm not getting anything acomplished.
I've put a lot of thought into my current situation. I've even gone as far as trying to get other's opinion on the subject, which is not like me. Here's what's going on inside my head right now. I see everyone, and by everyone I mean everyone who shows affection toward each other, be it kissing, holding hands, texting notes to one another, what have you. And I say to myself...Where is my love? Did I show up late one day and miss her? Have I been making the right decisions? I start thinking that I spent too much time in Greene and missed out.
I don't want to fall back into who I was again, but at the same time I just want somebody to recognize me. Someone to admire me from afar and be awkward toward me, instead of the other way around. I set up little rules for myself so I wouldn't become who I used to be...like "don't fake saddness to gain attention". I used to do it all the time, and I'm afraid that I'm still doing it.
I'd rather just get on with my life, cause there's no sense in worrying about things I cannot change. Most disagree with me, but I'd rather use all my energy to make others happy and sacrifice my own, than be happy at the expense of another. I live my life to make others happy, and people say that this is wrong and that it's not making me happy. I say whatever...it's my life to live and I do what I please.
I still miss those few who I would have given the world to make happy. They chose a different path than mine, and that I cannot control...so there's no sense in trying to persuade her otherwise. I figure this is just another test. If I truly want her to be happy, I must let her go.
Oh drunk Livejournal...what other trouble can you get me into?
So far I've yet to sleep in my own bed, in part because I've yet to assemble it at my new apt in the meadows 7-8. It's been a blast though, I'm getting a whole bunch of shit done that I've put off because of lack of time. And so far every night we've cooked or gone out to dinner...we being Me, Joe, Jeff, Kate, and Angela(spelling?). Anyways, I'm having way too much fun and I feel like such a waste cause I'm not getting anything acomplished.
I've put a lot of thought into my current situation. I've even gone as far as trying to get other's opinion on the subject, which is not like me. Here's what's going on inside my head right now. I see everyone, and by everyone I mean everyone who shows affection toward each other, be it kissing, holding hands, texting notes to one another, what have you. And I say to myself...Where is my love? Did I show up late one day and miss her? Have I been making the right decisions? I start thinking that I spent too much time in Greene and missed out.
I don't want to fall back into who I was again, but at the same time I just want somebody to recognize me. Someone to admire me from afar and be awkward toward me, instead of the other way around. I set up little rules for myself so I wouldn't become who I used to be...like "don't fake saddness to gain attention". I used to do it all the time, and I'm afraid that I'm still doing it.
I'd rather just get on with my life, cause there's no sense in worrying about things I cannot change. Most disagree with me, but I'd rather use all my energy to make others happy and sacrifice my own, than be happy at the expense of another. I live my life to make others happy, and people say that this is wrong and that it's not making me happy. I say whatever...it's my life to live and I do what I please.
I still miss those few who I would have given the world to make happy. They chose a different path than mine, and that I cannot control...so there's no sense in trying to persuade her otherwise. I figure this is just another test. If I truly want her to be happy, I must let her go.
Oh drunk Livejournal...what other trouble can you get me into?