(no subject)

[jim_deh_andy]

"I suppose this was my form of sleep - if sleep was defined as the inert state between active periods"
                                               Edward Cullen - Midnight Sun

I really can't sleep at all, because normally sleeping people dream, and I don't dream at all.

Just I wanna die. In five years of intensive therapy, in five years I've been policizing me, i've never had these thought once.

And then, all at once, I caught myself thinking of ir again!! I caught myself wishing I could dream of dying. It just says that I need more than just trying to keep my mood in balance. I can't believe that keeping my depressed mood repressed would cause so much damage to my cognitive system ;-;

okay...
I'm better...
But I still want to do something that doesn't include walking or sitting all day in front of the PC ;-;