Come rest awhile...
I'm always excited when a new month comes around. One thing that excites me about it is changing the page on my calender. This is my birthday month and i always look forward to a the best picture in the calender for August. I remember one year i changed the calender to the month of june and it was Norman Rockwell calender and it had a girl sitting on grass resting on the shoulder of a boy. That month was an exciting adventure of a very new thing for me: my first boyfriend. Although it only lasted a month it was still one of those things you'll always remember. The picture on my calender now depicts a pathway in the forest with light streaming in, looks like a morning shot but what lures me the most is the sturdy bench on the side. It invites me, saying, "come rest awhile..." So i decided to sit down and put my thoughts down on "paper" and rest awhile.
I've been struggling a lot this month with a lot of unresolved issues in my life. Things that I can't get out of my mind. Mostly asking God where is my life headed. Last weekend I went to SYC. I don't remember the details of all the meetings but there was 2 in particular that really got me to think, but i'll just mention the first. It was about the gift of forgiveness. And how you don't possess this gift on your own you have to ask it of God. The speaker asked, "but what if those you should forgive don't even ask for forgiveness, what if they're not sorry?" Respose: "you forgive them anyway, not for their sake but for your own, so you can move on with your life." He gave stories on how some people go for years holding on to a wrong done to them like a woman who's husband had cheated on her 20 years ago and when she spoke to the pastor there were still tears in her eyes. Next the pastor told a story about a father who didn't want to admit his mistakes. He said if he did his family would loose respect for him. The pastor went on the say, "The father doesn't know that they've already lost respect for him, to appologize would regain their respect." Then the last story was the kicker... he had this long elaborate story of how he fractured his arm and how he was in so much pain... then he rolls up his sleve and shows us his scars and he's like this was so many years ago look, look at the scars. then he pauses and looks at us and says... but you know what the pain is gone. The scars will always be there but the pain doesn't have to be. I need to pray for the gift of forgiveness because the pain is still there. Maybe it was for the fact that I was always trying to get to the bottom of things but sometimes you just can't if there's just no communication. I kept asking why? why are you not sorry? why this why that? Unanswered questions. who am i to ask so much? so i won't anymore. No more questions.
cest le vie.... that's life... sucks for me. heh. or good for me... a friend would say pain is good, otherwise you'd just keep getting hurt, no one wants pain so they'll stay away from whatever is causing it... so last words... the glass is half full and thank God for pain and the His gift to heal us from it.
I've been struggling a lot this month with a lot of unresolved issues in my life. Things that I can't get out of my mind. Mostly asking God where is my life headed. Last weekend I went to SYC. I don't remember the details of all the meetings but there was 2 in particular that really got me to think, but i'll just mention the first. It was about the gift of forgiveness. And how you don't possess this gift on your own you have to ask it of God. The speaker asked, "but what if those you should forgive don't even ask for forgiveness, what if they're not sorry?" Respose: "you forgive them anyway, not for their sake but for your own, so you can move on with your life." He gave stories on how some people go for years holding on to a wrong done to them like a woman who's husband had cheated on her 20 years ago and when she spoke to the pastor there were still tears in her eyes. Next the pastor told a story about a father who didn't want to admit his mistakes. He said if he did his family would loose respect for him. The pastor went on the say, "The father doesn't know that they've already lost respect for him, to appologize would regain their respect." Then the last story was the kicker... he had this long elaborate story of how he fractured his arm and how he was in so much pain... then he rolls up his sleve and shows us his scars and he's like this was so many years ago look, look at the scars. then he pauses and looks at us and says... but you know what the pain is gone. The scars will always be there but the pain doesn't have to be. I need to pray for the gift of forgiveness because the pain is still there. Maybe it was for the fact that I was always trying to get to the bottom of things but sometimes you just can't if there's just no communication. I kept asking why? why are you not sorry? why this why that? Unanswered questions. who am i to ask so much? so i won't anymore. No more questions.
cest le vie.... that's life... sucks for me. heh. or good for me... a friend would say pain is good, otherwise you'd just keep getting hurt, no one wants pain so they'll stay away from whatever is causing it... so last words... the glass is half full and thank God for pain and the His gift to heal us from it.