i'm sick of getting the run around... from everything and ALMOST everybody!
GOD! the warren center has me come in for 2 days of "training" and i left a note for them to call me back and to finish my training... a week goes by and nada. i am scheduled to work today-saturday at the sterling inn. warren doesn't know about the sterling inn. what do i tell them? they call me today and say they could use me today. well... thanks for the headsup! really! i don't know if they want me or not. i understand they're overwhelmed. i would like to be able to pick up some extra hours but their inservice hours are sooooo rigorous there and i gotta schedule them on my own. how? the sterling inn has them everyother saturday@7am. that's it. botta bing botta boom. summer hasn't even began and i'm already @4nights. come on. it's like i feel bad about warren but it seems i'm the only one that made an effort. BLAH! they've been giving me a run around. who knows. i like them there... but i get paid 1.50 more an hour at the sterling inn and they actually get me on the schedule.
i'm ready to socially cut myself off from the world until august. seriously! i'm tired of shady relationships with people who have no idea what's going on. i'm tired of people in shady relationships. what's the hidden code? what's the hidden meaning? am i not a good enough friend because i don't get it? i'm tired of fighting in a war full of lost battles. jealousy is the epitome of all evil. i'm tired of making an effort for nothing. i'm just so fed up with one way streets. i don't know if people forget to remember me or if they just don't care...... but i'm tired of waiting... waiting... waiting and tired of everything. when it comes to being social these days... i've only been able to count on ONE or maybe TWO people.
i sit and watch the kid across the street with his umpteen friends and his pool. they're still living in the glory of comlpeting their senior year. he's on top of the world before he starts college in the fall. i see some kids from highschool... you know... the kind we all wanted to be friends with... 2 years after highschool and i am still wondering where did it go wrong? how come never dated a football player? how come i never had beautiful looking friends? how come when we all sat in 3rd hour history playing euchre... they'd talk about the weekend... drinking... and getting high... and i'd just sit there with a dumb look on my face. how come they all knew and experienced the joys of highschool while all i did was swim laps and stood in the bleachers on friday nights playing the "hey" song? i still... and never will understand. most of those people are still friends today and can count on eachother to have a good time whenever the fuck they want. sometimes i just wanna give up.
i'm ready to socially cut myself off from the world until august. seriously! i'm tired of shady relationships with people who have no idea what's going on. i'm tired of people in shady relationships. what's the hidden code? what's the hidden meaning? am i not a good enough friend because i don't get it? i'm tired of fighting in a war full of lost battles. jealousy is the epitome of all evil. i'm tired of making an effort for nothing. i'm just so fed up with one way streets. i don't know if people forget to remember me or if they just don't care...... but i'm tired of waiting... waiting... waiting and tired of everything. when it comes to being social these days... i've only been able to count on ONE or maybe TWO people.
i sit and watch the kid across the street with his umpteen friends and his pool. they're still living in the glory of comlpeting their senior year. he's on top of the world before he starts college in the fall. i see some kids from highschool... you know... the kind we all wanted to be friends with... 2 years after highschool and i am still wondering where did it go wrong? how come never dated a football player? how come i never had beautiful looking friends? how come when we all sat in 3rd hour history playing euchre... they'd talk about the weekend... drinking... and getting high... and i'd just sit there with a dumb look on my face. how come they all knew and experienced the joys of highschool while all i did was swim laps and stood in the bleachers on friday nights playing the "hey" song? i still... and never will understand. most of those people are still friends today and can count on eachother to have a good time whenever the fuck they want. sometimes i just wanna give up.