lol, i make myself laugh sometimes
MY America: For Allen Ginsberg
America there is a flag hanging from a plane.
Three beers, 17 cigarettes and one too many Smirnoffs.
I need a derby pin to eat and my pants are too tight.
I don’t enjoy cellulite.
America when will your conscience bother you?
The Chik-Fil-A is now open on Sundays.
I think I’d like Canada if it weren’t for Celine Dion and
a man with a crutch poked me in the foot while I was watching some Chinese men eat Big Macs and I burnt my ankle with my cigarette when i was startled by the man with the broken leg and a radio commercial was selling Chile’s Baby Back Ribs and a jet flew by and rattled my rib cage.
America that made more sense than you.
I can’t look up without tripping over my feet
America I have a problem
I have some screws loose and I can’t find the Phillips.
I litter every day and I don’t regret it.
I’ll worry about my mess when you worry about yours.
Every boy I’ve dated has been foreign and I can’t tell my mom.
She gets muti-cultural experience once a year in Dr. Umant’s office at Bluegrass Cardiology,
Angelina adopted another Ethiopian child while a small black boy dies from deviated shrapnel on 32nd and Market.
Wynnona was arrested again for shoplifting.
I should have listened more to Al Gore but he does have fabulous powerpoints.
Global warming may kill us all but at least we will be rich when it does.
I learn more about Anna Nicole than the Iraq war and my mom listens more to Dr. Phil than her therapist.
Oprah made me read a book recently and I hated it.
All I need a cigarette and I don’t have a lighter.
America why am I so thirsty when I’ve been drinking all day?
America what can I do?
Where can I go?
You sell wars like you sell toothpaste and you don’t even have the decency to give me a dryer that doesn’t steal my socks.
Who needs socks anyway.
The popular magazines tell me that pink is my color and those pants would look better with these shoes and this purse will match your shirt and your man will be pleased if you’d only wear a thong and quit worrying so much about the skin underneath.
I like the color green and these pants look fine without those shoes and I don’t carry a purse and who needs a man if all I have to do is wear a thong to please him. I value more in a person than the type of underwear they prefer and I expect the same.
By the way, I like socks.
I guess I’m not very popular.
America guess what.
Your children are having sex
Viagra can make a man hard but birth control can make a girl a slut
this is very true America
I feel like a t-shirt cliché;
I spoke the truth and all I got was this lousy New Testament, a free 12 month subscription to Today’s Christian and a WWJD bracelet.
I need to eat Snickers before I go to Wal-Mart to buy more Snickers.
I can now drink Diet Coke and get my vitamins at the same time.
McDonalds improved their chicken nuggets and KFC gets protested for animal cruelty.
I’m pretty sure I found a wrong way to eat a Reece’s.
The same day a model dies from anorexia a ten years old girl starves herself ‘cause all she wanted was to be pretty like her and to have her hair and teeth and voice and eyes and skin and flesh and bones.
I can’t figure out who is more flawed.
I want to look like a model too.
I can’t stand the radio but I listen to it everyday.
Madonna somehow feels like a virgin.
Britney Spears broke down and shaved her head and everyone seemed surprised.
Snoop Dogg has a living room full of fine dime brizzles and he’s waiting on the Pizzle, the Dizzle and the Shizzle.
America this is ridiculous for rizzle.
America stop.
America stop bombing for peace.
Stop blaming your problems on Muslims and stop shelling their dunes.
Stop using radioactive shells and stop using our soldiers as guinea pigs.
Stop ignoring the genocide and stop ignoring the silent baby who has not made a sound since the Janjaweed burned her village and slaughtered her parents and her sister now carries her for miles across the desert to flee the horses and the guns and the bullets and the rape
America just give it up.
You’re just eloquently full of shit and I’m not prepared for this.
I go to jail if I drink a beer.
I nibble my fingers when I’m nervous.
I still watch Disney.
America you can lie to my face and possibly get away with it
It’s happened for years and I’m sick of being fed baby food and given warm baths to put me asleep and shut me up.
I’ve found my lighter and my screwdriver.
I got my WWJD bracelet.
I’ve got my socks.
I’m ready to see fireworks.
America there is a flag hanging from a plane.
Three beers, 17 cigarettes and one too many Smirnoffs.
I need a derby pin to eat and my pants are too tight.
I don’t enjoy cellulite.
America when will your conscience bother you?
The Chik-Fil-A is now open on Sundays.
I think I’d like Canada if it weren’t for Celine Dion and
a man with a crutch poked me in the foot while I was watching some Chinese men eat Big Macs and I burnt my ankle with my cigarette when i was startled by the man with the broken leg and a radio commercial was selling Chile’s Baby Back Ribs and a jet flew by and rattled my rib cage.
America that made more sense than you.
I can’t look up without tripping over my feet
America I have a problem
I have some screws loose and I can’t find the Phillips.
I litter every day and I don’t regret it.
I’ll worry about my mess when you worry about yours.
Every boy I’ve dated has been foreign and I can’t tell my mom.
She gets muti-cultural experience once a year in Dr. Umant’s office at Bluegrass Cardiology,
Angelina adopted another Ethiopian child while a small black boy dies from deviated shrapnel on 32nd and Market.
Wynnona was arrested again for shoplifting.
I should have listened more to Al Gore but he does have fabulous powerpoints.
Global warming may kill us all but at least we will be rich when it does.
I learn more about Anna Nicole than the Iraq war and my mom listens more to Dr. Phil than her therapist.
Oprah made me read a book recently and I hated it.
All I need a cigarette and I don’t have a lighter.
America why am I so thirsty when I’ve been drinking all day?
America what can I do?
Where can I go?
You sell wars like you sell toothpaste and you don’t even have the decency to give me a dryer that doesn’t steal my socks.
Who needs socks anyway.
The popular magazines tell me that pink is my color and those pants would look better with these shoes and this purse will match your shirt and your man will be pleased if you’d only wear a thong and quit worrying so much about the skin underneath.
I like the color green and these pants look fine without those shoes and I don’t carry a purse and who needs a man if all I have to do is wear a thong to please him. I value more in a person than the type of underwear they prefer and I expect the same.
By the way, I like socks.
I guess I’m not very popular.
America guess what.
Your children are having sex
Viagra can make a man hard but birth control can make a girl a slut
this is very true America
I feel like a t-shirt cliché;
I spoke the truth and all I got was this lousy New Testament, a free 12 month subscription to Today’s Christian and a WWJD bracelet.
I need to eat Snickers before I go to Wal-Mart to buy more Snickers.
I can now drink Diet Coke and get my vitamins at the same time.
McDonalds improved their chicken nuggets and KFC gets protested for animal cruelty.
I’m pretty sure I found a wrong way to eat a Reece’s.
The same day a model dies from anorexia a ten years old girl starves herself ‘cause all she wanted was to be pretty like her and to have her hair and teeth and voice and eyes and skin and flesh and bones.
I can’t figure out who is more flawed.
I want to look like a model too.
I can’t stand the radio but I listen to it everyday.
Madonna somehow feels like a virgin.
Britney Spears broke down and shaved her head and everyone seemed surprised.
Snoop Dogg has a living room full of fine dime brizzles and he’s waiting on the Pizzle, the Dizzle and the Shizzle.
America this is ridiculous for rizzle.
America stop.
America stop bombing for peace.
Stop blaming your problems on Muslims and stop shelling their dunes.
Stop using radioactive shells and stop using our soldiers as guinea pigs.
Stop ignoring the genocide and stop ignoring the silent baby who has not made a sound since the Janjaweed burned her village and slaughtered her parents and her sister now carries her for miles across the desert to flee the horses and the guns and the bullets and the rape
America just give it up.
You’re just eloquently full of shit and I’m not prepared for this.
I go to jail if I drink a beer.
I nibble my fingers when I’m nervous.
I still watch Disney.
America you can lie to my face and possibly get away with it
It’s happened for years and I’m sick of being fed baby food and given warm baths to put me asleep and shut me up.
I’ve found my lighter and my screwdriver.
I got my WWJD bracelet.
I’ve got my socks.
I’m ready to see fireworks.