shit continued

[jills_revenge]

the lines were there
perpendicular and intersecting
pink as my lips
and it meant that everything
was soon to change
new room was fixed
new furniture for a new arrival
new t-shirt at the hospital
i watched the afterbirth fall to a bucket on the floor
i thought no more, i thought no more

a day and a tornado had passed
May twenty-ninth, nineteen ninety-six
eight pounds and a half
of vomit, spit, urine and tears
lay sleeping in my arms when i turned ten
three months, three years
of crying crying crying
i was thrown up on and bit on the cheek
little brother, little brother
i kissed his head, i kissed his head

I wasn't fine, i wasn't well
hell burned in the pit of my stomach
i felt ill, cramped, hardly able to stand
so i sat instead
on a bathroom floor
before my english class
i sat down and then i stood
a warmth spread through my jeans in a sickening brown
i left for the principal's office to get what i need
women bleed, women bleed

stupid girl, stupid bitch
my hair was pulled
i was thrown to a locker
my stomach had widened
my teeth were shackled
my mouth invaded with rubber bands
stabbed in the back by an unstable friend
taunted by a girl who just didn't know when to shut her mouth
the lock i threw flew pass her head
she deserved it, i said