(no subject)
so since i started school, i've been trying to get more involved with the medical care of patients in the hospital rather than just sitting behind the desk and getting their names. i'm not allowed to TOUCH or help the patients yet. but i have been asking to watch the procedures that the physicians do.
for instance, last week i watched a girl get her stomach pumped. and for those who don't know...I CAN'T STAND VOMIT. i see someone throw up, and i'm right along with them with my little bucket. but i worked up my nerve and i watched. there's nothing like watching a girl with a tube in her throat throwing up charcoal.
but yesterday...we got a medic in. a code 3. which means cpr in progress. i didn't see the medics bring the patient in, but as soon as i saw he was in the room, i asked the charge nurse if i could go in and watch. (i mostly just wanted to see how they do cpr since that is what i am really nervous about doing) but when i got in the room, they had stopped doing cpr. they were calling his time of death...
this poor little man. 50 years old. he weighed 80 fucking pounds. he was so skinny. literally skin and bones. a cancer patient. laying there on the tabled, intibated, ribs sticking unbelievably far out of his chest. i just started crying. how the hell am i going to be an emt...
it seriously broke my heart.
the weird thing was, i wasn't upset that he had died. i was actually happy that he had passed. no more SUFFERING. i knew he was living a horrible life and know he is free of his pain. but how could someone let him get to the point he was. so malnurished. his family took an HOUR to get there. he died alone. obviously his family was never there for him. stuck him in a nursing home and only cared when he DIED.
it really made me think about dumpy. and how someone was always at his side. how can you just leave someone there to eventually die. i just don't get it...
for instance, last week i watched a girl get her stomach pumped. and for those who don't know...I CAN'T STAND VOMIT. i see someone throw up, and i'm right along with them with my little bucket. but i worked up my nerve and i watched. there's nothing like watching a girl with a tube in her throat throwing up charcoal.
but yesterday...we got a medic in. a code 3. which means cpr in progress. i didn't see the medics bring the patient in, but as soon as i saw he was in the room, i asked the charge nurse if i could go in and watch. (i mostly just wanted to see how they do cpr since that is what i am really nervous about doing) but when i got in the room, they had stopped doing cpr. they were calling his time of death...
this poor little man. 50 years old. he weighed 80 fucking pounds. he was so skinny. literally skin and bones. a cancer patient. laying there on the tabled, intibated, ribs sticking unbelievably far out of his chest. i just started crying. how the hell am i going to be an emt...
it seriously broke my heart.
the weird thing was, i wasn't upset that he had died. i was actually happy that he had passed. no more SUFFERING. i knew he was living a horrible life and know he is free of his pain. but how could someone let him get to the point he was. so malnurished. his family took an HOUR to get there. he died alone. obviously his family was never there for him. stuck him in a nursing home and only cared when he DIED.
it really made me think about dumpy. and how someone was always at his side. how can you just leave someone there to eventually die. i just don't get it...