(no subject)
I am at a disadvantage it seems in all situations. I escape from commitment, content, and I am beginning to recognize a pattern; it seems I am always running away from something. Dodging from things that matter most, swearing I am still a good person, convincing myself I am all together and at ease with the stupid shit I frequently do. It has become cyclic and doing damage on my length of temper. Pre-menstruation is not to blame, it can’t be. It’s not the stress of Jr. Year, or maybe it is. Pondering this bullshit gives me a headache, but feeling useless is 10 times worse. Feeling powerless and small when you are 5’8’ is laughable. Writing “to-do” lists is pointless, nothing ever gets done, Reading books is nice until it’s over and you are thrust back into reality. Happiness can only last so long, how un-fucking-fortunate.
I just re-read this and I sound like I need a shrink, how cute.
I just re-read this and I sound like I need a shrink, how cute.