His Best Intentions chapter 11
Prince Jensen and Tahmoh decided the horses needed rest, so the group spent another day at Wildebridge.
Since he had the opportunity, Jensen showed Jared the town. “This is where I grew up,” he explained. “The crowned Prince or Princess lives here until their coronation. After my father became King, we would spend a couple months a year here. My mother adores this place.”
“I can see why,” Jared replied. “It’s gorgeous. The town is so picturesque, and I bet she loved riding through those meadows and hills.”
Jensen paused, wondering how Jared knew of his mother’s love for riding. “Yes, she did, or does. She rides for hours up here. This is where she taught Elizabeth and me.”
Jared peeked into a storefront. “It’s smaller than the capital, and not as busy, but the town doesn’t seem to want for anything.”
“I would have thought you’d find it dull since you grew up in the city.”
“A person could get bored, but that would be his own fault. One has to be open to new experiences and meeting new people.” Jared studied the buildings around them. “Wildebridge is on a major trade route so the city will only get bigger. But I hope it doesn’t lose its charm.”
Jared impressed Jensen with that bit of understanding. He nodded his agreement but wondered if Jared was looking forward to living in Lancaster with Travis. They hadn’t mentioned his name since they left the capital, but the man clung to them like smoke, polluting Jensen’s every thought.
“He likes you more than he admits.”
Danneel found the Prince alone in the library. As children, they spent hours hiding on the overstuffed chairs, reading about adventures in faraway kingdoms, and planning their futures.
Jensen looked up at her with a sad smile. He replaced the book he was looking at and chose another. “If only ‘like’ were enough.”
“It is. Or it should be,” Danneel countered, crossing the room to him. “Your year of promise isn’t over. The law doesn’t say you have to get married during it, only that the marriage should be inevitable.”
“You study law now, huh?”
“When it concerns my best friend’s life, yes.” She touched his arm to get him to look at her. “I will always love you, Jensen.”
The Prince couldn’t meet her eyes. He had hurt her when he told her of his preference for men. They used to sit in this room and plan their futures. Then one day, with a few words, he broke her heart and destroyed their dreams. “Why? I was so awful to you.”
“Being true to yourself isn’t being awful or disloyal to me.” She took his face in her hands. “Fight your father’s decision. Don’t accept banishment, Jensen.”
“I already have.” He took her hands from his face and stepped away. Night had fallen, and the library’s windows reflected the room’s cozy glow. How many hours had he and Danneel spent in this room as children? “Remember when we would spin the globe and dream about places to visit? Now I get to do that for real." He turned to her, an eager expression on his face. “You could come with me. We could travel the world. See all the places we dreamt about as kids.”
She fixed him with a quirked brow. “You want me to give up all this for a sexless relationship with a vagabond pauper? Gee, wait while I pack my bags.”
Jensen’s face fell, and he shrugged a shoulder. “We wouldn’t be paupers exactly.”
“No. Maybe not. But we would be sexless.” She smiled reassuringly at him. “We should work on getting Jared to fall in love with you.”
“You think I haven’t tried?”
“Have you tried kissing him? You do have the most kissable mouth.” She moved closer and smoothed her hands over his chest, up to his shoulders, where she let them linger.
Jensen blushed. It had been a long time since he kissed anyone, years since he kissed her in this very room. “Dani,” he chided her gently. She shouldn’t talk like that.
“Am I interrupting?” Jared asked from the doorway.
Jensen spun so hastily it was incriminating. Danneel smirked and made a show of wiping the corners of the mouth with a delicate fingertip.
“No,” they replied in unison. Then Danneel added, “I was just reminding the Prince of how desirable he is. Don’t you find our Prince handsome, Jared?”
Jensen glared at her, red from embarrassment and annoyance, and growled, “Dani.”
“Yes, Jensen is very handsome.” Jared looked from one to the other, unsure if they were playing a game he didn’t understand.
Ignoring Danneel and her scheming, Jensen asked, “Was there something you needed, Jared?”
“No. I wondered if you were interested in a game of chess before we retired. But, I’ll just find a book to read and let you two catch up.”
“Oh no, I wouldn’t hear of it,” Danneel said. “Please, play with the Prince. I have duties to attend to.” She curtseyed to Jensen, then met Jared as she crossed the room and said, “Don’t let his innocent expression fool you, Jared. The Prince is as cunning as he is delicious.” She touched a finger to the corner of her mouth again and winked knowingly as she left the room, shutting the door behind her.
Jensen rolled his eyes and muttered, “That woman.”
Jared noticed the Prince was still flushed. “Do you want to play? We don’t have to. Play chess, I mean. I could go. Should I leave? I interrupted something, didn’t I?” Jared asked as he stepped further into the room.
Jensen took a deep breath and exhaled. “No, you didn’t. Dani was only trying to embarrass me for her own amusement.” He walked over to the chess table. “I’d love to play, thank you.”
Jared joined him at the table but found he could not concentrate. He couldn’t help staring at Jensen’s mouth. Were his lips kiss swollen? Were they as soft as they looked? Had Danneel been trying to rekindle Jensen’s feelings?
After a few of Jared’s moves turned into gains for him, Jensen asked, “Are you toying with me, Jared? I know you’re better than this.”
Jared blinked at him. “I, uh, no? I’m just… distracted.”
Jensen nodded and sat back, dismissing the game. “Of course, you must be looking forward to Lancaster and seeing Travis again. We don’t talk much about him. Why don’t you ell me what made you fall in love with him?”
Jared squirmed. Thinking back, it no longer seemed like love. Infatuation, yes, but love? If anything, it was a childish, one-sided love because Travis hadn’t felt the same way.
“I don’t know,” he replied to buy some time for a better answer. “He’s handsome. He seemed so worldly because he had traveled a lot. He was sociable and would talk to anyone about anything. He used to come into the shop and flirt with me relentlessly.”
“Ah.” Jensen nodded, grinning. “No wonder I was a failure. I was too shy to speak, and when I did, you dismissed it as work-related. My pitiful attempt at flirting was to buy all your candy, which only gave you more work.” He shook his head at his foolishness.
Jared laughed. “Yeah, I didn’t realize it was you. But I remember thinking that person was a hog for buying all the candy.”
Jensen joined in the laughter. “I didn’t eat them all myself. I shared some with my guard and Richard. I even gave some to Elizabeth.”
Jared smiled. Jensen looked good with a smile on his face, and Jared enjoyed putting it there. He took in their quiet surroundings. They were completely alone, no footmen or guards at the door. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, Jared, you may ask me anything.”
“Why are you on this trip? I could have traveled with some of your men and you could get on with your life.”
“Because you asked me to.” Jensen looked confused for a moment. Then he continued, “Don’t you understand? Jared, the way you feel about Travis, I feel about you. I only have a little time left with you. I’m taking all I can get.”
Jared took a deep breath to process Jensen’s words.
“Once you’re back with Travis, and I see how happy you are, maybe I’ll be able to move on.” A thought, creeping like poison, came to Jensen. “Have you changed your mind? Do you not want me with you? I can stay here if you wish, and you can go on with Tahmoh and Rob.”
“No, I want you to come with me,” Jared replied quickly, leaving no doubt, but he wasn’t satisfied. “I want your honest answer to something, don’t spare my feelings.”
Those words made Jensen uncomfortable and he shifted in his chair. “I have always been honest with you, Jared.”
“Yes, but you also do your best not to hurt my feelings. Don’t do that now.”
“Okay.” Jensen sat up, intrigued by this change in conversation.
“Why do you think Travis lied to me?”
Jensen blinked in surprise at the question. He replied slowly so he could gather his thoughts. “I don’t know. What did he lie about?”
Jared frowned. He assumed Jensen knew that Travis lied about his reasons for leaving. “Travis lied about everything, and I know you know that!” he hissed. “If he truly loved me, why would he do that?”
Jensen sighed. “He may not have lied. Maybe he didn’t know the war was over --”
“Oh please, he knew. He took advantage of me not knowing better,” Jared protested.
Jensen paused and took a breath. “It’s romantic.”
“What?!”
“It’s romantic going off to war. It’s life or death. Going home to help your family run a business, not so much,” Jensen said. “From what you’ve told me about Travis, perhaps he wanted to seem like a hero.”
Jared stared at him for a long moment. “Is that what you really think?”
“You are asking me to guess the motives of a man I’ve never met. He had your heart and then walked away. I could never do that. If you loved me,” he stopped. If Jared loved him, everything would be different. He cleared his throat. “That’s not what you asked. Possibly, Travis thought you’d be unhappy in Lancaster. I don’t know, Jared.” This conversation was too awkward, too painful. He couldn’t talk about Jared and Travis. He regretted bringing up the topic. “Thanks for the game. I think I’ll go to bed now.” He stood up and turned to leave.
“Wait, please,” Jared said, pushing back from the table to join Jensen. “What were you going to say? If I loved you…?”
Jensen met his eyes and bared his soul. “If you loved me, nothing would keep us apart. I wouldn’t leave you no matter what demands my family made.”
Jensen’s words made Jared pause, then he staggered back in realization. “What demands did your family make?” he asked, just above a whisper.
Jensen hung his head and answered, “They told me to choose another Intended or ... and I don’t want anyone else.”
Jared collapsed onto the nearest couch. Jensen was giving everything up for him and asking nothing in return.
Not understanding Jared’s anguished expression, Jensen sat next to him. “Just so you know, I don’t regret choosing you. Sometimes things don’t turn out like we planned, but I’m thankful for the chance to befriend you. You are as wonderful as I knew you would be.”
Jensen hoped his words would cheer Jared up, but he looked even more miserable.
“He never even tried to contact me,” Jared said.
“I’m sorry, Jared.” Jared’s continued obsession with Travis was exasperating. Jensen confessed to choosing Jared over everything and the man’s thoughts still returned to Travis. “I guess we both love people who don’t love us back.”
“That’s not true.”
Jensen groaned to himself. Why didn’t Jared see the obvious. “You’re right. Travis probably still loves you. He --”
“I wasn’t talking about Travis.” Jared took a breath. Tired of keeping his feelings secret, he faced Jensen on the couch. “Jensen, I’m in love with you. I don’t know when it happened, last week, last month. It was like the tide coming in it was so gradual. Then, before I knew it, I’m over my head.”
Jensen’s mouth fell open, and he blinked. Was this a dream? Had Danneel spiked his drink?
Suddenly, Jared was surging forward and kissing him. “You really do have the most kissable mouth,” Jared murmured as he pressed their lips together. One kiss was like oxygen to a fire. Now that he was finally giving in to his feelings, Jared would not quit.
Surprise made Jensen give into the first kiss. But with the second kiss, he knew he had to stop. He pushed at Jared’s shoulders. “Jared, don’t, I’m not the Prince.”
Jared reluctantly backed away. “What?’
“Don’t throw your life away on me. I’m not the Prince. My father banished me. I’m to see you to Lancaster and then book passage to Muldera.”
Jared smiled fondly at him and gently cupped his face in his hands to look Jensen in the eye. “That doesn’t change how I feel. I love you, not your title. We can live penniless on an island, in a tent, or in your castle as long as we live together.” He pressed a quick kiss to Jensen’s lips, then leaned back. “If you want to be Prince, I’ll talk to your father and explain how people should fall in love in their own time on their own terms. And how a strong union is built on trust, and trust takes time. If he can’t see that building a strong relationship makes for a stronger marriage and country, then, if you’ll still have me, I’ll go wherever you go. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth.”
Jensen huffed a laugh. “You would argue with my father?”
“If you want me to. Or I’ll travel the world with you. As long as I’m with you, I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Then let’s return to the capital tomorrow. We’ll start planning our affrèrement immediately.”
“I can’t do that,” Jared began. “I have to find Travis.”
“Why? Why do you need to see him if you no longer love him?” Jensen demanded, his voice tinged with bitterness.
“Because if he finds out I’m the Intended, he will cause trouble. He’ll create a scandal and after everything you’ve done for me, I won’t allow that to happen.”
Jensen nodded and turned away. A jealous worry churned within him. Too many ‘what ifs’ crawled in his mind like rats gnawing at this new love. "If you say so." He stood, pulling at his clothes as he did. "I'll see you in the morning. We'll leave right after breakfast."
"Wait." Jared stood, blocking Jensen's exit. "It's early yet. And we're alone. I was thinking we could take advantage of that." He angled in for another kiss but Jensen stepped back.
"Jared, if you kiss me, then break my heart in a few days’ time, I will never recover."
"Jensen, I wouldn't."
"After you see Travis you may feel differently. I can't let myself- " his words wouldn't come. "Excuse me." He stepped around Jared and left the room.
chapter 12