Driver's ed. ate my brain!
Yesterday I was doing my daily routine--sitting in traffic between a bunch of pickup trucks--and started thinking about how much I hate the new Texas license plates. The old ones were simple and to the point--just a small Texas outline in the middle of the plate. The shape of the state is unmistakable, especially compared to all those melty square states. But whoever designed the new plates thought, "This isn't Texas enough!" (which seems to be a common belief down here--cue Cavender's Boot City) and threw on a shuttle, a cowboy on a horse, and, for some reason, a crescent moon.
I propose that they scrap the shuttle, which is going the way of the buffalo, and put a tiny representation of Mission Control on instead. Since Mission Control is really just a bunch of nerds behind computers, maybe they could use a teensy Apollo era dude with black-rimmed glasses, a pocket protector, and a crew cut. I'd dig it. And get rid of that damn cowboy. In over two decades down here, I've never met a real cowboy. To show what contemporary Texas is like, there should be a Wranglers-wearing kicker sitting in the bed of his pickup with tobacco spittle running down his chin. Finally, get rid of that useless crescent moon, and replace it with a bitter liberal. Now, that's the Texas spirit!
Speaking of bitter liberals, The New Yorker has an article on the Texas redistricting with snippets from an email written by a Texas Republican's aide. Talking about the senior Democrat in the state, he wrote, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. . . . His district disappeared." He also says, "This is the most aggressive map I have ever seen. This has a real national impact that should assure that Republicans keep the House no matter the national mood." As if the blue states needed any more reason to despise Texas.
In non-partisan news, my driver's ed. student passed her test, and I'm going to start teaching her how to read next week. She called me, elated that she would soon get her license, and I congratulated her, elated that I can stop having nightmares about how close you're allowed to park to a crosswalk (20 feet) and what will automatically get your driver's license suspended (possessing a false license). Smell ya later, Texas drivers' laws!
I propose that they scrap the shuttle, which is going the way of the buffalo, and put a tiny representation of Mission Control on instead. Since Mission Control is really just a bunch of nerds behind computers, maybe they could use a teensy Apollo era dude with black-rimmed glasses, a pocket protector, and a crew cut. I'd dig it. And get rid of that damn cowboy. In over two decades down here, I've never met a real cowboy. To show what contemporary Texas is like, there should be a Wranglers-wearing kicker sitting in the bed of his pickup with tobacco spittle running down his chin. Finally, get rid of that useless crescent moon, and replace it with a bitter liberal. Now, that's the Texas spirit!
Speaking of bitter liberals, The New Yorker has an article on the Texas redistricting with snippets from an email written by a Texas Republican's aide. Talking about the senior Democrat in the state, he wrote, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. . . . His district disappeared." He also says, "This is the most aggressive map I have ever seen. This has a real national impact that should assure that Republicans keep the House no matter the national mood." As if the blue states needed any more reason to despise Texas.
In non-partisan news, my driver's ed. student passed her test, and I'm going to start teaching her how to read next week. She called me, elated that she would soon get her license, and I congratulated her, elated that I can stop having nightmares about how close you're allowed to park to a crosswalk (20 feet) and what will automatically get your driver's license suspended (possessing a false license). Smell ya later, Texas drivers' laws!