(no subject)
So a few days ago hitler got sick and basically almost died. I took her to a vet I had never been to and it was basically like going to a free clinic except it wasn't even close to being free.
So I made friends with two guys in the waiting room one with a pit bull and another with a fuzzy white cat. That was nice, although Im 99% sure the one with the pit bull was a rapist.
Then they called hitlers name which is DJ when we go to the vet and we walked into the back.. where they don't have rooms they have stations. So hitler and I were one of the stations and next to us was a giant dog with a tumor and a cat that had cancer.
So the vet tells me that hitler has a fever and I immediately start crying. I seriously can't take knowing that my animals are hurting. Its the only thing I cry over honestly. So they take hitler away from me and while I am waiting for them to bring her back, I start listening to the consultations that are going on next to me... Turns out max the dog is fine, but the cat to the right of me can't be fixed and the vet is telling his owner just to make the cat comfortable as he's dying. So I start crying even more.
Which brings me to my point of this story. I really wish I had someone to lean on. A shoulder to cry on. A person to talk to on car rides. A someone who makes living a bit easier.
Instead I have a person who doesn't care about me, who doesn't care about my animals, and who moved across the country and when he is home only bothers to visit me after the hours of 10pm. It's been at least 6 years now that Charlie has been in my life and he has said I love you four times and taken it back four times, he's given me 3 gifts, and basically all around makes me feel like a piece of garbage.
I always say that 'I know what Im doing' when it comes to charlie.. But I actually don't. Not even a little bit. But a life of loneliness is way worse than a life with a horrible person right?
anyway... hitler is fine now. They pumped a bunch of fluids in her and gave her a shot of antibiotics. Thank the universe because the day I lose any of my animals is the day I check in to the crazy house. I will go insane. It's inevitable.
So I made friends with two guys in the waiting room one with a pit bull and another with a fuzzy white cat. That was nice, although Im 99% sure the one with the pit bull was a rapist.
Then they called hitlers name which is DJ when we go to the vet and we walked into the back.. where they don't have rooms they have stations. So hitler and I were one of the stations and next to us was a giant dog with a tumor and a cat that had cancer.
So the vet tells me that hitler has a fever and I immediately start crying. I seriously can't take knowing that my animals are hurting. Its the only thing I cry over honestly. So they take hitler away from me and while I am waiting for them to bring her back, I start listening to the consultations that are going on next to me... Turns out max the dog is fine, but the cat to the right of me can't be fixed and the vet is telling his owner just to make the cat comfortable as he's dying. So I start crying even more.
Which brings me to my point of this story. I really wish I had someone to lean on. A shoulder to cry on. A person to talk to on car rides. A someone who makes living a bit easier.
Instead I have a person who doesn't care about me, who doesn't care about my animals, and who moved across the country and when he is home only bothers to visit me after the hours of 10pm. It's been at least 6 years now that Charlie has been in my life and he has said I love you four times and taken it back four times, he's given me 3 gifts, and basically all around makes me feel like a piece of garbage.
I always say that 'I know what Im doing' when it comes to charlie.. But I actually don't. Not even a little bit. But a life of loneliness is way worse than a life with a horrible person right?
anyway... hitler is fine now. They pumped a bunch of fluids in her and gave her a shot of antibiotics. Thank the universe because the day I lose any of my animals is the day I check in to the crazy house. I will go insane. It's inevitable.