{Journal} End of My Struggle... Or Is It??
JiLLiaN AsHLeY: sign-in
~*~ *SI~~~~~~GHS* i don't feel so good today.. =( i feel so depress.. i think i'm really a failure... and i also think that i don't have the right to join the Palanca Awards for Literary Works Contest that my prof was telling me to join... i don't know how to explain the emotion that i'm feeling right now.. i just can't... i can feel the tears running along my cheeks... *since when was the last time i shed some tears? i really don't know.. but now, i know that as i write this journal, i can feel the depression that lingers in my heart* i was so stupid on revealing on my prof about me, writing stories.. i'm really dumb... i shouldn't write that in the first place and now i'm regretting it, thanks for my stupidity.. i don't know what to do.. i want to back out since i'm still not agreeing on my prof's proposal.. but i entering on the contest will not hurt me, right?? and i think it will help me to improve my writing skills (if i really have one).. =(
now i'm starting to think that i really don't have the talent on writing.. i'm just forcing and fooling myself.. it hurts but that's what i really think right now... i don't know why i'm thinking this way but i just know that writing is not my thing... i just have to give up... ='( you know what's odd, before i gave up on drawing but i didn't shed a single tear.. but now that i'm thinking on giving up writing, i can't stop on sobbing.. is this mean that i became attached to creative writing? i don't want to give up anything, but i must... but i can't bring up myself to it.. i think i'm going to miss writing stories.. if only there is one thing that will make me change my decision.. i wish there will be something or someone will help me change my decision... i don't really want to give up writing but i don't want to fool myself on thinking that i can really write.. PLEASE I NEED HELP!! I'M SEEKING FOR HELP!! PLEASE~~ PLEase~~ please~~ i'm really lost right now.. i really am.. :(
~*~even though i'm still quietly sobbing, i just want to say that, i'm really happy for those comments that i had accepted before for my previous work.. i'm really thankful for their great comments.. i wish i could read some comments too in the future.. =(
~*~ *SI~~~~~~GHS* i don't feel so good today.. =( i feel so depress.. i think i'm really a failure... and i also think that i don't have the right to join the Palanca Awards for Literary Works Contest that my prof was telling me to join... i don't know how to explain the emotion that i'm feeling right now.. i just can't... i can feel the tears running along my cheeks... *since when was the last time i shed some tears? i really don't know.. but now, i know that as i write this journal, i can feel the depression that lingers in my heart* i was so stupid on revealing on my prof about me, writing stories.. i'm really dumb... i shouldn't write that in the first place and now i'm regretting it, thanks for my stupidity.. i don't know what to do.. i want to back out since i'm still not agreeing on my prof's proposal.. but i entering on the contest will not hurt me, right?? and i think it will help me to improve my writing skills (if i really have one).. =(
now i'm starting to think that i really don't have the talent on writing.. i'm just forcing and fooling myself.. it hurts but that's what i really think right now... i don't know why i'm thinking this way but i just know that writing is not my thing... i just have to give up... ='( you know what's odd, before i gave up on drawing but i didn't shed a single tear.. but now that i'm thinking on giving up writing, i can't stop on sobbing.. is this mean that i became attached to creative writing? i don't want to give up anything, but i must... but i can't bring up myself to it.. i think i'm going to miss writing stories.. if only there is one thing that will make me change my decision.. i wish there will be something or someone will help me change my decision... i don't really want to give up writing but i don't want to fool myself on thinking that i can really write.. PLEASE I NEED HELP!! I'M SEEKING FOR HELP!! PLEASE~~ PLEase~~ please~~ i'm really lost right now.. i really am.. :(
~*~even though i'm still quietly sobbing, i just want to say that, i'm really happy for those comments that i had accepted before for my previous work.. i'm really thankful for their great comments.. i wish i could read some comments too in the future.. =(
- There are things in these world that we cannot have, no matter how we really value them...
- The saddest thing a person can have is knowing that the thing you really want can never be yours..
- Truth hurts the most..