[For Mogan]

[jill_langston]

In avoiding Rodney for a good week, Jill had inadvertently avoided all of New Atlantis, only seeing Carson and Teyla when she'd gone to the Compound and there were other people she hadn't seen at all. She wasn't one to seek people out regularly to begin with, not because she didn't like seeing her friends, but because she tended to rely on her

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[fallen_ancient]

Pulled from her meditation by the sound of Jill's voice, Morgan cracked open an eye to note that the sun had crept high overhead. She was beginning to relearn the mental stillness required for Ascension, although she yet had a long way to go, if it were even possible.

Turning that thought aside with the fluid ease granted by hours of non-thought, Morgan greeted Jill with a smile. "Have you decided you'd like to learn to meditate?" Her tone teased; she could imagine few people less likely to suddenly take up meditation.

[jill_langston]

With a laugh, Jill shook her head, settling down on one of the rocks near the waterfall before she gave Morgan a look. "Do you think I have nearly enough patience to take up meditation? I'd sit down, close my eyes and remember fifteen different things I needed to get done."

Dale had talked to her once about meditation, but she didn't think she was any more prepared for it now than she had been then.

[fallen_ancient]

Lips twitching with her own suppressed laughter, Morgan straightened her skirt over her knees. "It does help to have a somewhat clearer schedule."

There were, naturally, other reasons for which one might meditate beyond trying to Ascend. Teyla sought to clear her mind for balance and productivity. And the Lantians had practiced other forms of meditation as well. "On the other hand, you might find the Lantian version of what I believe is now called tantra rather..." Her eyes brightened, voice growing silvery with her amusement. "Stimulating."

[jill_langston]

"Do you recall the bleeding nose I had not too long ago?" Jill asked with an amused lift of her eyebrows. As much as she enjoyed time with Rodney, she wasn't looking to get into anything too athletic until she could be sure she wouldn't end up with any broken bones.

"That might be something I'll leave for now," she decided, although she was grinning in response. "For the good of my face."

[fallen_ancient]

"The entire point of such practices is to induce calmness, extend the experience, and disburse the orgasm throughout the body," Morgan answered as evenly and serenely as she would did she speak of holography, and perhaps a good deal more.

She smirked then, eyebrow lifting. "But perhaps, yes, considering, it might be better for you not to engage in it immediately."

[jill_langston]

Jill could only imagine how Rodney would react if she came back to his hut with this new information and she grinned in amusement, shaking her head. "So did I interrupt your meditation? I wasn't sure where to find you."

Which was as close as she'd actually get to saying that she'd been looking for Morgan. Not for anything in particular, but just to actually see the other woman. It was strange that she'd gone from being completely unsettled by Morgan to actually seeking her out.

[fallen_ancient]

"I would have been finished soon, in any event," Morgan answered evenly.

It might have been a lie, or it might not have been. She had no way of knowing how much longer she might have stayed in meditative state, but she did not object to the interruption, nor did she wish Jill to feel she should not have come - since she had evidently come looking for Morgan, rather than finding her by accident.

The idea brought a smile to her eyes. Friends, finally. "I'm usually swimming by now." She tilted her head up to check the angle of the sun again. "You're lucky to have caught me here. Nothing is wrong, is it?"

[jill_langston]

"No, nothing's wrong," Jill assured her, smiling as she extended her legs out in front of her, crossing them at the ankles. "There was a..." What was she supposed to call what had happened with Rodney? It hadn't been an argument and they hadn't come close to breaking up, but it had been a turning point of some kind.

"Teyla and I had a conversation about the disappearances and it made me question things, but I think everything is fine now," she answered finally.

[fallen_ancient]

"Yes, our friends have been hit unusually hard of late. First John, then Dr. Beckett, then Teyla." If she had been serene through her mention of the men, Teyla's loss cast a shadow over her eyes, provoking a momentarily pensive frown.

She glanced at a Jill again, expression smoothing as she met her gaze. "I'm very glad nothing is wrong, but I can imagine it has been harder on you than me." A gentle inquiry in the lift of her eyebrow, but nothing more.

[jill_langston]

"A friend of mine went, too. Just a week or so ago," Jill admitted, frowning slightly before she shrugged and lifted her gaze again. "It's been especially rough on Carson, it seems." Although maybe it was only that Carson was more willing to talk about it with her than Teyla or John had ever been.

"I don't think it's been especially hard on me, no," she added, brushing that off with a forced smile. "It happens to everyone."

[fallen_ancient]

Morgan tilted her chin slightly, eyebrow lifting. "I hadn't known. Was it someone with whom you were very close?"

She kept her voice even, warmer than it would be with someone else, but non-invasive. Listening came naturally, as did curiosity, but she wished to be a friend, supportive, not make it worse.

[jill_langston]

Jill actually laughed a little at that, thinking back to Ash and the questionable history they'd had. "It's difficult to explain," she admitted, although that didn't mean she wouldn't give it a shot. "I thought I was very close to him, but he was a con artist. I was friends with the man he was pretending to be, Roger May."

Her smile disappeared a bit as she remembered their confrontation after she'd discovered his real identity. "His real name was Ash Morgan and he conned people for a living, but I think... I think he was genuinely sorry for lying to me."

[fallen_ancient]

Morgan nodded. "It's entirely possible he was, Jill. When lies and illusions are what you know, it can be very difficult to discard them, even when they no longer serve a purpose." If anyone had cause to understand that, she did.

"I hope it did not give you cause to doubt his friendship with you," she added, thinking of Daniel and her masquerade as Merlin in visions. "Those who live in shadow rarely reach out, and when they do try to connect, it is nearly always genuine."

Having spoken so freely of herself, even if Jill did not recognize it, Morgan still found herself feeling exposed and glanced past Jill rather than at her.

[jill_langston]

"I miss him," Jill admitted, letting out a quiet sigh before she offered Morgan a smile. Although she did miss Ash quite a lot, she didn't really talk about it. It wasn't something she went out of her way to share with anyone, even the people she trusted.

Shaking her head, she forced a bigger smile and said, "We really don't have to talk about that, though."

[fallen_ancient]

Unfolding her legs, Morgan stretched them in front of her, then leaned over them to stretch her back as well. She glanced along her arm at Jill before sitting up again.

Her friend's smile was obviously forced, and while their relationship had evolved to respect each others' walls, both also valued directness. "We don't have to, no. We may if you need to." Inclining her head, Morgan pulled her legs back in. "I know you said otherwise, but I cannot help but observe something is on your mind."

[jill_langston]

"Well," Jill began carefully weighing the words as she considered what was really bothering her, "I've been here for almost two years now. Here on the island, I mean, and for awhile I didn't understand how it could be to have someone here and then lose them."

Pausing again, she looked at the ring she wore for a moment, then back up at Morgan. "But then you start to lose people and you begin to understand. I'm just wondering what the point of it is. If everyone just goes in the end, why bother with developing relationships?"