MOVIESMOVIESMOVIES
So today we FINALLY went to see Up.
And Public Enemies.
And Transformers 2.
It never occurred to me that the reason my entire friend's list was FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-ing over this movie was not because of some unforgivable and heart breaking plot twist--I honestly interpreted your collective level of rage with "Oh man, Bee is so going to die"--and not the fact that it was actually so colossally and monumentally bad that even 2.5 hours of high-speed-car-chase-giant-robot-boom-boom-with-a-smattering-of-dick-jokes could not placate the audience.
So, like, I used to read Girl Wonder and When Fangirls Attack back when Steph Brown was still dead (she's not dead anymore, right? ...Sometimes I forget I read comics.) And for a the most part, I usually agreed with that collective subset of women - the angry feminist comic book readers - were saying. Some of them were a little ridiculous and over the top, but usually their views neatly aligned with mine, and all was good. I stopped paying attention to WFA when they stopped posting regularly, or only updated with manga entries, and I stopped keeping track of Girl Wonder when their goal was more or less realized (right?).
But I never forgot the things they trained me to look for--things I never needed training for because the mere sight of them made the bile rise in the back of my throat already. Like how there is no "average" girl in the Transformers movieverse. Okay, Mikaela is a babe. I'll buy that. So she goes to work at a garage wearing denim panties, customizing bikes with her bare ass cheeks in the air, dripping excessive lip gloss and tossing her post-coital-tousled hair. S-sure. I guess. And okay, so there's this other random chick I didn't immediately recognize as not-Mikaela until I realized he hair was blondish who repeatedly tries to rape Sam, gratuitous panty shots and all. Fine, I see how that could further the plot more or less, at least until she tries so skull-fuck Sam with her ten foot robo-tongue, and then she ceases making any sense at ALL. Seriously, did I black out and miss that part completely? Who the fuck was she?.
But seriously? Even the extras. Even the girls in the background, going about their day, going to class, or whatever. Even they were all ridiculously hot, a sea of self-tanned boobies and tight jeans and "I just got fucked" hair. Not a single nerd girl, not one girl who woke up that morning and just decided "fuck it" and put up her hair and went to class in her oversized hoodie and PJ pants; not even the fat uncool chick who exists to be ridiculed and laughed at. Not even her.
Among all the other things? The obnoxious trash-talking hood-rat robots, the undecipherable plot, the torturous run time and the excessive and unfunny dick jokes? I could have handled all that. The sexism is what ruined it for me.
The only concession was we didn't actually pay to see it.
But anyway. Public Enemies wasn't bad, it just wasn't for me.
Up was a complete gem and an absolute joy and I can't wait to see it again. There really is nothing to say about it except that it's adorable and precious and hilarious and I love it.
Previews I enjoyed: Hilary Swank in Amelia (AAAAHHHFUCKYESYOUGUYS I may or may not have peed a little). This blasphemous live action Avatar movie starring nothing but white kids that I am SO going to see; I figure if it's great, then yay, if it's awful, then I can LOL and RAGE when appropriate, embarrassing my girlfriend in public. The Princess and the Frog OH BABY I have waited so long for this movie. We also saw a poster for the Time Traveler's Wife and we "WAT D:"'d for a few moments in horror. Going to see that one too.
And Public Enemies.
And Transformers 2.
It never occurred to me that the reason my entire friend's list was FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-ing over this movie was not because of some unforgivable and heart breaking plot twist--I honestly interpreted your collective level of rage with "Oh man, Bee is so going to die"--and not the fact that it was actually so colossally and monumentally bad that even 2.5 hours of high-speed-car-chase-giant-robot-boom-boom-with-a-smattering-of-dick-jokes could not placate the audience.
So, like, I used to read Girl Wonder and When Fangirls Attack back when Steph Brown was still dead (she's not dead anymore, right? ...Sometimes I forget I read comics.) And for a the most part, I usually agreed with that collective subset of women - the angry feminist comic book readers - were saying. Some of them were a little ridiculous and over the top, but usually their views neatly aligned with mine, and all was good. I stopped paying attention to WFA when they stopped posting regularly, or only updated with manga entries, and I stopped keeping track of Girl Wonder when their goal was more or less realized (right?).
But I never forgot the things they trained me to look for--things I never needed training for because the mere sight of them made the bile rise in the back of my throat already. Like how there is no "average" girl in the Transformers movieverse. Okay, Mikaela is a babe. I'll buy that. So she goes to work at a garage wearing denim panties, customizing bikes with her bare ass cheeks in the air, dripping excessive lip gloss and tossing her post-coital-tousled hair. S-sure. I guess. And okay, so there's this other random chick I didn't immediately recognize as not-Mikaela until I realized he hair was blondish who repeatedly tries to rape Sam, gratuitous panty shots and all. Fine, I see how that could further the plot more or less, at least until she tries so skull-fuck Sam with her ten foot robo-tongue, and then she ceases making any sense at ALL. Seriously, did I black out and miss that part completely? Who the fuck was she?.
But seriously? Even the extras. Even the girls in the background, going about their day, going to class, or whatever. Even they were all ridiculously hot, a sea of self-tanned boobies and tight jeans and "I just got fucked" hair. Not a single nerd girl, not one girl who woke up that morning and just decided "fuck it" and put up her hair and went to class in her oversized hoodie and PJ pants; not even the fat uncool chick who exists to be ridiculed and laughed at. Not even her.
Among all the other things? The obnoxious trash-talking hood-rat robots, the undecipherable plot, the torturous run time and the excessive and unfunny dick jokes? I could have handled all that. The sexism is what ruined it for me.
The only concession was we didn't actually pay to see it.
But anyway. Public Enemies wasn't bad, it just wasn't for me.
Up was a complete gem and an absolute joy and I can't wait to see it again. There really is nothing to say about it except that it's adorable and precious and hilarious and I love it.
Previews I enjoyed: Hilary Swank in Amelia (AAAAHHHFUCKYESYOUGUYS I may or may not have peed a little). This blasphemous live action Avatar movie starring nothing but white kids that I am SO going to see; I figure if it's great, then yay, if it's awful, then I can LOL and RAGE when appropriate, embarrassing my girlfriend in public. The Princess and the Frog OH BABY I have waited so long for this movie. We also saw a poster for the Time Traveler's Wife and we "WAT D:"'d for a few moments in horror. Going to see that one too.