(no subject)
The (Revised) Master Plan
Ideally, anyway.
1. Drive to Florida by way of Virginia!
2. Do Disney World With orangenoslide!
3. Take her home!
4. Move to California!
5. Get a place with kyo_waru!
6. Get a job at Disneyland!
7. Live happily ever after!
Or something.
1. Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
Yes. That dumb bitch Amber from college. (She's not a dumb bitch because of the abortion, she's a dumb bitch because we were getting to be really good friends and then she went and said some homophobic shit and I couldn't stand her anymore. Also post-abortion I mentioned I had to do an oral presentation for Human Sexuality on contraception and she went "contraception? What's that?" So maybe she's just an IGNORANT bitch, idk.)
2. Last awkward moment?
WHEN THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES WOKE ME UP THIS MORNING and I answered the door looking like they'd just interrupted me during wild lesbian sex. (That's what I should have said to them, "I'm sorry, I was just having wild lesbian sex. Why are you on my porch?")
3. Who do you find yourself crushing on currently?
No one.
4. Have you ever fallen backwards down a set of stairs?
No. Forwards? Many a time.
5. Ever been to a friends house and starved the whole time?
Nope. I do eat less when I'm staying with other people, but it doesn't bother me at all. Leading me to believe the only reason I eat like I DO is because I know there's noone around to see me be a disgusting pig.
6. Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
Possibly?
7. Name someone close to you who smokes cigarettes?
My mom.
8. Name 3 things that everyone knows about you:
1. Gay! 2. Hates people! 3. Loves books!
9. When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
Usually let them go. I tend to have an open door policy. If you want to be my friend, awesome. If not, no one's stopping you from leaving. I don't usually fight with people or hold grudges or cry and whine. Think I'm a bore? Fine, whatever. We probably didn't have that much in common anyway.
10. Have you ever been corrected at your workplace?
HAHA WHAT WORKPLACE. No, seriously. I don't have a job.
11. Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
Yes.
12. Do you still live at home?
I LIVE IN MY HOUSE AND IT IS MY HOME what kind of question is that? I don't live in my PARENT'S home, I live in mine. D:
13. Last time you smiled?
Last night probably?
14. What do you do when a telemarketer calls?
Let the machine get it. :p
15. Would life be the same without alcohol?
OF COURSE. Since I don't drink.
16. Would you go a month without washing your hair to save a loved one?
Yeah.
17. Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
Cry? I'd probably kill myself.
18. Have you had the best night of your life?
Well, logically, out of all the nights of my life one of them has to be better than the others, thus the best, so yes?
19. Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?
Definitely not. I'm not entirely sure he'll be alive a MONTH from now. Though I have to admit, he's really hanging in there.
20. Have you ever picked a booger and smeared it under something?
NOT THAT I CAN RECALL.
21. When was your last bubble bath?
SHIT when I was like 14 or something?
22. Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
YES. He's obnoxious as fuck, too. Last time I saw him I gave him a wrist burn because he kept shoving the picture of his girlfriend's ultrasound in my face.
23. What was the last thing you ate?
Chocolate-peanut butter ice cream. :) BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS.
24. Where is your pet right now?
Probably on my bed, sleeping.
25. Name five things you did last night?
Ate too much icecream, texted Alisa, texted Emily, played Katamari, and...slept?
26. Last time you consumed alcohol?
NEVAR. Oh I think I might of had a swig of something when I was like nine. I was coughing and I thought it was water and it wasn't.
27. What color phone do you have?
White with a navy faceplate. (And a Wilbur sticker on the back. :P)
28. How many kids do you have?
NONE. God forbid.
29. What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
Olive green M*A*S*H tee, shredded jeans, brown payless sneakers and my giant-huge Steve & Barry's denim jacket (because I'm not QUITE as fat as my grandma thinks I am)
30. What color are your eyes?
Brown.
31. Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
32. When was the last time you drank a martini?
Never.
33. Did you do any chores today?
I considered taking out the garbage. But didn't. So no.
34. What are you doing tomorrow?
Tomorrow I'm going to stay in bed and play Katamri ALL FUCKING DAY. I may also do laundry. Last pair of underwear today. :p
35. Do you know someone who likes you?
Not to my knowledge.
36. Have you ever had a friend named Fred, Frank, or Felipe?
No?
37. Does a heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
Yes. I think so.
38. What color is your hair?
Just brown.
39. Do you think any of your exes still look good?
Well I haven't seen him in a few years, so...?
40. Have you ever said I Love You and not meant it?
Probably.
41. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Nope.
42. Closest thing that is green?
My shirt.
43. Have you ever been teased really bad?
Oh my god fuck yes. Middle school is a blur of bitter tears and emotional trauma.
44. Do you still have feelings for anyone from your past?
Not romantic. Some kind of bitterness/confusion stuff going on. I usually let this shit go pretty fast but she still gets under my skin.
45. Have you ever had an ingrown toenail?
N...no?
46. Do you believe in ghosts?
I haven't really thought about it.
47. Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours?
No.
48. Do you have a lot of guy friends?
I used to, when I talked to people irl.
49. Do you have your tonsils and wisdom teeth?
Nope and nope.
50. Have you ever been in handcuffs?
Nope.
Ideally, anyway.
1. Drive to Florida by way of Virginia!
2. Do Disney World With orangenoslide!
3. Take her home!
4. Move to California!
5. Get a place with kyo_waru!
6. Get a job at Disneyland!
7. Live happily ever after!
Or something.
1. Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
Yes. That dumb bitch Amber from college. (She's not a dumb bitch because of the abortion, she's a dumb bitch because we were getting to be really good friends and then she went and said some homophobic shit and I couldn't stand her anymore. Also post-abortion I mentioned I had to do an oral presentation for Human Sexuality on contraception and she went "contraception? What's that?" So maybe she's just an IGNORANT bitch, idk.)
2. Last awkward moment?
WHEN THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES WOKE ME UP THIS MORNING and I answered the door looking like they'd just interrupted me during wild lesbian sex. (That's what I should have said to them, "I'm sorry, I was just having wild lesbian sex. Why are you on my porch?")
3. Who do you find yourself crushing on currently?
No one.
4. Have you ever fallen backwards down a set of stairs?
No. Forwards? Many a time.
5. Ever been to a friends house and starved the whole time?
Nope. I do eat less when I'm staying with other people, but it doesn't bother me at all. Leading me to believe the only reason I eat like I DO is because I know there's noone around to see me be a disgusting pig.
6. Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
Possibly?
7. Name someone close to you who smokes cigarettes?
My mom.
8. Name 3 things that everyone knows about you:
1. Gay! 2. Hates people! 3. Loves books!
9. When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
Usually let them go. I tend to have an open door policy. If you want to be my friend, awesome. If not, no one's stopping you from leaving. I don't usually fight with people or hold grudges or cry and whine. Think I'm a bore? Fine, whatever. We probably didn't have that much in common anyway.
10. Have you ever been corrected at your workplace?
HAHA WHAT WORKPLACE. No, seriously. I don't have a job.
11. Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
Yes.
12. Do you still live at home?
I LIVE IN MY HOUSE AND IT IS MY HOME what kind of question is that? I don't live in my PARENT'S home, I live in mine. D:
13. Last time you smiled?
Last night probably?
14. What do you do when a telemarketer calls?
Let the machine get it. :p
15. Would life be the same without alcohol?
OF COURSE. Since I don't drink.
16. Would you go a month without washing your hair to save a loved one?
Yeah.
17. Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
Cry? I'd probably kill myself.
18. Have you had the best night of your life?
Well, logically, out of all the nights of my life one of them has to be better than the others, thus the best, so yes?
19. Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?
Definitely not. I'm not entirely sure he'll be alive a MONTH from now. Though I have to admit, he's really hanging in there.
20. Have you ever picked a booger and smeared it under something?
NOT THAT I CAN RECALL.
21. When was your last bubble bath?
SHIT when I was like 14 or something?
22. Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
YES. He's obnoxious as fuck, too. Last time I saw him I gave him a wrist burn because he kept shoving the picture of his girlfriend's ultrasound in my face.
23. What was the last thing you ate?
Chocolate-peanut butter ice cream. :) BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS.
24. Where is your pet right now?
Probably on my bed, sleeping.
25. Name five things you did last night?
Ate too much icecream, texted Alisa, texted Emily, played Katamari, and...slept?
26. Last time you consumed alcohol?
NEVAR. Oh I think I might of had a swig of something when I was like nine. I was coughing and I thought it was water and it wasn't.
27. What color phone do you have?
White with a navy faceplate. (And a Wilbur sticker on the back. :P)
28. How many kids do you have?
NONE. God forbid.
29. What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
Olive green M*A*S*H tee, shredded jeans, brown payless sneakers and my giant-huge Steve & Barry's denim jacket (because I'm not QUITE as fat as my grandma thinks I am)
30. What color are your eyes?
Brown.
31. Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
32. When was the last time you drank a martini?
Never.
33. Did you do any chores today?
I considered taking out the garbage. But didn't. So no.
34. What are you doing tomorrow?
Tomorrow I'm going to stay in bed and play Katamri ALL FUCKING DAY. I may also do laundry. Last pair of underwear today. :p
35. Do you know someone who likes you?
Not to my knowledge.
36. Have you ever had a friend named Fred, Frank, or Felipe?
No?
37. Does a heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
Yes. I think so.
38. What color is your hair?
Just brown.
39. Do you think any of your exes still look good?
Well I haven't seen him in a few years, so...?
40. Have you ever said I Love You and not meant it?
Probably.
41. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Nope.
42. Closest thing that is green?
My shirt.
43. Have you ever been teased really bad?
Oh my god fuck yes. Middle school is a blur of bitter tears and emotional trauma.
44. Do you still have feelings for anyone from your past?
Not romantic. Some kind of bitterness/confusion stuff going on. I usually let this shit go pretty fast but she still gets under my skin.
45. Have you ever had an ingrown toenail?
N...no?
46. Do you believe in ghosts?
I haven't really thought about it.
47. Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours?
No.
48. Do you have a lot of guy friends?
I used to, when I talked to people irl.
49. Do you have your tonsils and wisdom teeth?
Nope and nope.
50. Have you ever been in handcuffs?
Nope.